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Effect of the invention to auto car on the living of people in your contry.


answers: 4
Jul 5, 2012, 01:28am   #1
It is wildly belived that technology has changed every times .Before many years ago,there was a difficulty in communicating between each other,travel was difficult,because there no a cars and a trains.So evereyone who needed to go to another place would take along time before he arrived there.But now the new invention of technology it is made the communication between people more easier in several ways.This essay will briefly describe the effect of the invention to auto mobile on the living of people.

The transprtation,before there were using an old methods like camels,donkey and horses for traveling and carring from their town to another town but it took along
time and a lot of dangerously danger from walking for days at the desert because there is a lot of willd animals.So right now we have invented the new vehicles
such as the car ,boat ,trains and airplans.That is help us to go to anywhere in a few hours without feeling of tried.For example ,if someone living in Bangkok and
he wants to visit his family in Saraburi provide he cannnot come by his foot.So these inventions let our lives more easier than before.

In conclusion , every new invention made our lives easier comfortable and give us more benifits in our daily lives.


please help to give your comment and advise if I'am wrong .
Thank you so much.

Jul 5, 2012, 02:11am   #2
Hi,
Work on vocabulary and grammar. Try to read various texts with different subjects to understand how u should use different words in different contexts, and to improve your ability to use appropriate structures of sentences.

It is wildly believed that technology has continuously changes every times all the time. Before Many years ago, people hardly could communicate/interact with each other there was a difficulty in communicating between each other or travel was difficult to distant places,because there were no a cars and a trains (U did not say a reason why "communication" was hard). So evereyone (spelling) who needed to go to another place would take along time before he/she arriving in there.But (do not start the sentence with "BUT") now the new technological inventions of technology it is made could make the communication between people more easier in several ways.This essay will briefly describe the effects of the inventions to on auto mobile on and people's life styles. the living of people.

The transprtation,before there were using an old methods like camels,donkey and horses for traveling and carring from their town to another town but it took along time and a lot of dangerously danger from walking for days at the desert because there is a lot of willd animals (revise the sentence. For example you write something like this:"Looking back at the past centuries reveals that animals such as horses and camels, were being employed for transportation and carrying goods from one part to another part of a country or even the world. This type of transportation was not free of danger because the lives of individuals were always threatened by wild animals, bad weather, and many other natural functions") . As time passed, people tried to overcome such difficulties and improve the transportation system. Therefore, new technology flourished and animals were replaced with So right now we have invented the new vehicles such as the car ,boat ,trains and airplans (spelling). Such new vehicles That is help us to go to anywhere in a few hours without feeling of tiredness .For example ,if someone living in Bangkok and he wants to visit his family in Saraburi provide he cannnot come by his foot.So these inventions let our lives more easier than before.
(The structure and grammar of this sentence is no appropriate, at all. Revise it)
In conclusion , every new invention made our lives easier and more comfortable and give us more benifits in our daily lives .

You wrote just one paragraph as the body which is wrong. Manage your ideas and allocate one paragraph for each idea. Each paragraph consists of three main parts: 1) topic sentence: write that you want to talk about what in the paragraph; 2) supporting sentences: use examples, descriptions, statistics,etc for supporting the topic sentence; 3) concluding statement: write a summary at the end of the paragraph

Regards
Ahmad
It is wildly belived that technology has changed every times over the years. Before Many years ago,there was a difficulty in communicating between with each other, travel was difficult, because there were no a cars and a nor trains. So (Don't start a sentence with So,...) Therefore evereyone who needed to go to another place would take along time before he arrived there The green sentence doesn's sound right to me. Here's my suggestion: It would take people a long time to get from one place to another. But (Also don't start a sentence with But) However, now the new invention of technology it ishas now made the communication between people more easier in several ways.This essay will briefly describe the effect of the invention to of auto mobile on the living of people.

The transportation (spelling mistake), before there were using an old methods like In old times, people used camels,donkey and horses for traveling and carrying things from their one town to another town but it took along a long (seperate "a" and "long", they are two words) time and there was a lot of dangerously danger from walking for days at in the desert because there is a lot of were many willd animals. So (Again, don't start a sentence with So...) Therefore, right now we have invented the new vehicles such as the car ,boat ,trains and airplains (spelling mistake). That is helps us to go to anywhere in a few hours without feeling of tried tired (spelling mistake). For example ,if someone is living in Bangkok and
he wants to visit his family in Saraburi, provide he cannnot come by his foot (add more details: he cannot come by his foot, so what?).So these inventions let make our lives more easier (I would say "more convenient" instead of "easier") than before.

In conclusion , every new invention made makes our lives easier and comfortable and give us more benifits in our daily lives.

Well, here are a few things that I suggest you should work on:
  • Most important thing: always be aware of what verb tenses to use as it is one of the most basic things. Pay attention to your grammar.
  • I pointed out some spelling mistakes. Maybe they were just typo, but still be careful
  • Try to find synonyms => avoid repitition (for example: you kept using easy. replace it with words like comfortable, convenient,..)
  • In the intro, you should restate the topic given, then state your opinion, don't make it too long. (I think the second and the third sentence in your intro were not necassary and should be put in the body paragraph)
  • In the conclusion, again reword the topic and give a brief summary of your ideas about the topic.
  • This one is just my opinion: I don't think writing only one paragraph would enable you to get a high score. Think of at least one more idea to lengthen your essay.


Best
Jul 5, 2012, 07:06am   #5
Update body 2 and revise version,please help to comment again.

It is wildly believed that technology continuously changes all the time.Many years ago,people hardly could communicate with each other or travel to distant places,because there were no cars and trains.Therefore It would take people a long time to get from one place to another.However,the new technological inventions could make the communication between people easier in several ways.This essay will briefly describe the effects of the inventions on auto mobile and people's life styles.

First of all,looking back at the past centuries reveals that animals such as horses and camels, were being employed for transportation and carrying goods from one part to another part of a country or even the world. This type of transportation was not free of danger because the lives of individuals were always threatened by wild animals, bad weather, and many other natural functions.As time passed, people tried to overcome such difficulties and improve the transportation system. Therefore, new technology flourished and animals were replaced with new vehicles such as car ,boat ,trains and airplans. Such new vehicles help us to go to anywhere in a few hours without feeling of tiredness .For example ,if someone living in Bangkok and he wants to visit his family in Saraburi provide he cannnot come by his foot becuase it is so far distant from Bangkok.

Secondly, the car is popular vehicles of now people, because it help to transport convenient and saving the times .This reason has contributed to interest of the people and high car demand.Moreover, the automotive market will growing to between 1.1 and 1.2 million vehicles on this year.The Automotive Industry has created the new technological inventions on the auto mobile continuously all the time to support customers requirments.The customer has circumstance choices to selected the car.

In conclusion , every new invention makes our lives easier and comfortable and give us more benifits in our daily lives.



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