Topic: Teaching children and young people how to behave is the responsibility of parents, not schools or the government. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?
Apparently, the young generation is the core potential for the growth of a country, who should be given overriding concerns. As one of the main considerations in this precedence is educating the children to be good citizens, this major responsibility is whether of the parents or governments and schools. However, in my opinion, the issue should be equally intervened by both sides.
Firstly, I believe that parental roles in forming their children's attitudes are highly considered. From the daily life, their behavior affects mainly to the kids' basis moral standards, leading to the fact that there is an understandable tendency for the children to mimic as what the parents do. For example, a child brought up in a family which always has violent arguments is inclined to behave familiarly. As a result, the impacts from parents on the children's development should be thoroughly concerned and therefore their involvement is clearly necessary.
In addition, responsibility for this issue would certainly be of the governments and schools owing to the absence of the parents. As most schools design curricular courses covering ethic principles, the schoolchildren could have the more general conception to be well-behaved in the society. Otherwise, they would misunderstood whether their behaviors are right or wrong whereby the undeveloped belief is easily influenced by external factors, leading to being involved in social crime such as drug abuse, violence threats and more. Without any particular awareness, more serious consequences may arise which adversely affect to their life and future.
To conclude, children should be guided to behave morally by both schools and parents rather than one side bearing this significant responsibility, so as to be a good citizen in the future.
Hope will get your support and comments :)
Apparently , the young generation is the core potential for the growth of a country, who should be given overriding concerns .
This is your hook. It should be powerful in grabbing other's attention as well as it should have a good alignment with the prompt.
Obviously, the young generation is the future of this world and therefore it is very important that they become responsible citizens in society.As one of the main considerations in this precedence is educating the children to be good citizens, this major responsibility is whether of the parents or governments and schools.
Now your task is to introduce the background of the issue. This sentence is pretty complicated and does not do the job properly. In other words it needs lots of improvement with regard to clarity.
Some people argue that making children good citizens in society is the sole responsibility of the parents. However, some others hold the view that it is the responsibility of the school.I think the relative clause should move to after the subject and the subject-object order should be exchanged:
Apparently, the overriding concern to a young generation, who are the core potential for the growth of a country, is how to teach them to behave properly. However whether their family or the governments and schools should be responsible for this educating is a controversial question. In my opinion, the issue should be equally intervened by both sides.
