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( IELTS essay) Drop sports classes from school?


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Most of the schools are planning to replace sports and exercise classes with more academic sessions. What i s your opinion on this change? How is this change will affect children’s life in your view?


Childrens’ curriculum are becoming fat day by day. So many people would like remove sports from schools in order to help children to concentrate more on studies. However, being aware of the adverse impacts in children’s present and future lives by dropping sports from the school curriculum, I am completely disagreeing with this idea.


Sports and exercises are indispensable part in schools. Children today are not even getting enough time to enjoy outdoor games because of lack of enough time after school, home works and tuition. Sport classes fulfill this need and they can maintain a healthy life style. Moreover, children can refresh their minds and relieves the stress and tensions of monotonous academic studies. By participating in sports, they learn about the rules in the sports and it help them to watch the live and telecast sports events.


Additionally, sports and games can help students to impart the valuable lessons, essential for the day-to-day and future lives. By participating in these, they can boost their communication skills, self-confidence, sportsman spirit, positive attitude, co-operation, ability to work as a team, co-ordination of mind and body and so on. These are very important in their future lives. These all qualities will enrich their personality and physical and mental health.


Dropping sports, classes may give students little bit more time to study the essential subjects. The sedentary life and lack of exercises lead to obesity and associated issues. Lack of interest in their studies may jeopardize the wish of elders, who want to see the students to concur heights in the future.


To conclude, although some people believe that removing sport classes may help the students to allocate more time for studies, the adverse impacts are drastic. Hence, it is better to maintain sports in schools to grow up students with good physical and mental health.

Jan 30, 2013, 03:56am   #
joythblessy:
Childrens’ curriculum are becoming fat day by day.

The content of the academic syllabus is increasing everyday.

joythblessy:
So many people would like remove sports from schools in order to help children to concentrate more on studies.

There are many people who would like to remove all forms of physical activity from schools to help children concentrate more on their studies.

joythblessy:
I am completely disagreeing with this idea.

I do not agree with this concept.

joythblessy:
lack of enough time after school,
.....????? I think you should rephrase this particular sentence.
These all qualities will enrich their personality and physical and mental health. --> and repetition -->These all qualities will enrich their personal, physical and mental health.
Jan 30, 2013, 08:55am   #
Hi Tessy,

Additionally, sports and games can help students to impart the valuable lessons, essential for the day-to-day and future lives

In the about sentence I dont understand the word " IMPART". normally impart means convey,communicate, give, transmit, inform
Not sure in want does you are putting forward here related to the topic.

These all qualities will enrich their personality and physical and mental health. --> All these qualities will help to enrich one's personality and being healthy both physically and mentally.


I feel concluding paragraph is framed with repeated set of words which was used in the above paragraphs. Please avoid repeated vocabulary and try to use the synonyms.


Thanks for more points in this topic.

Regards,
Arun
Childrens’ curriculum are becoming fat day by day.
A typical student's curriculum is becoming larger every year.

However, being aware of the adverse impacts in children’s present and future lives by dropping sports from the school curriculum, I am completely disagreeing with this idea.
This might sound better: "I disagree with this notion, because taking away sports can have adverse effects on students, in the present and in the future."

Sports and exercises are an indispensable part in of a school's program. Children today are not even getting enough time to enjoy outdoor games, because of due to lack of enough time after school, homework and tuition.

Sport classes fulfill this need and they can maintain a healthy life style.
Strengthen this argument, maybe give a few benefits to a child's health.

Moreover, children can refresh their minds and relieves the stress and tension of monotonous academic studies.

By participating in sports, they learn about the rules in the sports and it help them to watch the live and telecast sports events.
This also could be stronger... Helping them watch TV is not an effective argument. Although it is good for kids to learn a variety of sports.

Additionally, sports and games can help students to impart the valuable lessons, essential for the day-to-day and future lives. By participating in these, they can boost their communication skills, self-confidence, sportsman spirit, positive attitude, co-operation, ability to work as a team, co-ordination of mind and body and so on. These are very important in their future lives. These all qualities will enrich their personality and physical and mental health.
This part is very well-done and is very supportive to your point of view :)
Hai Jenny, Pahan, Dev and Arun...

Hai Jenny and Pahan...

Thanks for the corrections which strengthen my essay.

Thanks Dev

Hai Arun...

:As you wrote here, the meaning of impart i used in my sentance is 'transmit'
The first sentance of a paragraph is thesis sentance. The explanation of this sentance will be the contance of the paragraph. The followimg sentance in that para clear you doubts i hope...):

:Thanks for the correction.i was intented to use 'both' in that sentance.
But it didnt come in a good way..

Thanks for all

Tessy



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