You should include the full prompt whenever posting an essay because without it, it's hard for us to know whether some sentences are relevant or not to the topic.
it would be surprising that how much it is different from our time?
The question mark is inappropriate here and "how much it is different" should be replaced by "how different it is".
time children should spend on coursework is decreasing as time for playing increasing
Children would sacrifice their studying time for playing computer games.
that lead to poor grading at school
which led to some academic problems at school.
Don't use "that" after commas.
make children pay less a attention to their lessons
draw more attention from students than their lessons do.
directly dependence from parents
This part is confusing. Do you mean the solution to this problem depends of parents?
should be highly encouraged