Wow, your vocabulary is amazing. And the essay is great. :D
Good luck if you're taking the ILTES!
there still
areis a large number of people
investment
onin enhancement of roads and highways system
making us lose even more
wages and revenue. -- I don't think it's so good to use this here. You don't lose a wage. Your wage can be however lowered.
(wages[finan.] = money that is paid or received for work or services, as by the hour, day, or week.)
and to encourage
our people to give up their cars.
expenses of travelling will be dramatically reduced.
Hm, while this sounds really good, I don't know if it is actually possible. Wherever there is a well-structured transportation system I feel like travel expenses are bigger. And it's not a bad thing. That is key to keep things working properly.