When people say show, don't tell, it means you should not make a claim when you could instead give an example.
For example, instead of saying, "She was the most generous person that I've met," you can tell about some act of generosity.
Mostly, you gave description. I wonder if the information you give in the essay is actually the most important information for explaining the effect she has on your life.
What is the most important sentence you could give me to tell me how she is going to affect you?
Also, do not say she was pushing up daisies! That seems insensitive.