Hei there! :D
First of all, I suggest you go over the tenses again. You could make a table or draw an axis and then put that piece of paper somewhere you will see it all the time. Tenses can be hard to understand, but they are worth mastering.
Also, always keep in mind the essay structure (introduction, body and conclusion). Try to write this essay again and give it more depth. Don't make it just about the roads in Chorleywood. You could explain perhaps how this helped the community develop economically and socially.
You don't have to be a grammar pro to figure out how to write a half-decent intro. Perhaps it would be better to avoid juggling around with sentences; keep things simple and try to imagine taking steps. You will build a sentence one step at the time.
i.e.: The illustration demonstrates, from 1986 to 1994, the changes and development in Chorleywood which is a village close to London.
Chorleywood, a village close to London, has shown remarkable change and development between 1986 and 1994. [step 1:What is Chorleywood? step 2: Why are you bringing it up?]
In this map, it is clear that roads
are have been built in Chorleywood in which the population built up extended along the main arteries as well.(this is a detail you shouldn't mention here, you want to keep the reader interested in what you're saying)
According to the given map, the biggest progress consists in the extension of the road network.
During the initial 15 years, 1868-1883, civilians of Chorleywood led their
in a small community right next to the
main road in the North-South
In that period of time, there were only two main roads which intersected
each other outside the village. Between 1883 and 1922, while the citizens expanded themselves, almost triple their original size,(/while the population of the village tripled,)
an east-west railway was built crossing the village; at the same time, a Chorleywood station unveiled itself to the world.
ver the next 58 years, 1922-1970, the population spiraled along*(/depended on; grew along)
the railway both eastward and westward(this sentence could use some editing)
. From 1970 to 1994, since a highway was built crossing
the main road and the
railroad, the population of Chorleywood
flourished surrounding the main roads, the motorway and the railway in which there were Chorleywood Park and a Golf course (?)
- "spiral"(vb.) = 1. to assume or cause to assume a spiral course or shape 2. (intr.) to increase or decrease with steady acceleration: wages and prices continue to spiral
(I would rather use this if you must talk about finances and such.)