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These days everyone seems to have more and more possessions. Our strong desire to own


Real Fog 5 / 26  
May 12, 2011   #1
Hey guys. I'm Happy to help you with your writings if you have a look on my essay. READ/CHECK/CRITIQUE/COMMENT/SUGGEST

These days everyone seems to have more and more possessions. Our strong desire to own these things is making us less aware of important personal qualities such as kindness and concern for others.

Do you agree or disagree?


Currently, the world society is facing a problem called egoism; the majority of people are intending to own more and more things, which makes them become self-concerned rather than being generous and grateful towards each other. As I greatly value inter-human relationships, I agree with the claim above.

Living in the economic era, we have established many beliefs dictating that every human being must be valued and appreciated in accordance to the amount of wealth he or she has. Being the most active presenter of society, the media chases after rich celebrities, not ordinary people. In other words, the more money one earns, the more attention and respect he will receive.

Furthermore, I have an impression that in the past family members gathered together after a working day to share with their news or experiences, so that proper communication within the family is constituted and warm feelings amongst them are created. These days, however, people dash out the street or fly to some exotic island to show off their latest bought belongings or other luxury stuff. Consequently, they are lack of real communication which is the key factor that lead people love each other and maintain kind relationships.

Finally, having rushed to pursue more and more people become mind-captured by the things they own, replacing friends and relatives with them. Unfortunately, it is not the end and those seduced start to care about their possessions. Subsequently, they have no thought about the life blooming with feelings and experiences that can not be bought.

All in all, I admit people today are surrounded with their items considering them as a sign for better status, but each of them is making himself isolated from that society. Nevertheless, I believe we should not replace real human qualities with stocks of things and try to live in sense of kindness and love.
Ultimate csp 2 / 6  
May 12, 2011   #2
These days everyone seems to have more and more possessions. Our strong desire to own thesematerial things is making us less aware of important personal qualities such as kindness and concern for others.

Do you agree or disagree?

Currently, the world society is facing a problem, called egoism; the majority of people are intendingbetter to use aiming to own more and more things, which makes them to become self- concerned rather than being generous and grateful towardsto each other. As I greatly value inter- human relationships, I agree with the claim above.

Living in the economic era, we have established/this economic era forced us to establish many beliefs dictating that every human being must be valued and appreciated in accordance to the amount of wealth he or she has. Being the most active presenter of society, the media, chases after rich celebrities, not after ordinary people. In other words, the more money one earns, the more attention and respect he/she will receive.

Furthermore, I have an impression that in the past, family members gathered together after a working day to share with their news or experiences, so that proper communication within the family is constituted and warm feelings amongst them arewere created. These days, however, people dash out the street or fly to some exotic islands to show off their latest bought belongings or other luxury stuff. Consequently, they arethere is a lack of real communication which is the key factor that lead peopleto love each other and to maintain kind relationships .

Finally, having rushed to pursue more and more people become mind-captured by the things they own, replacing friends and relatives with them.more and more people rushed to pursue themselves to replace friends and relatives with the things they own.( i could not make any sense of your sentence.) Unfortunately, it is not the end and those seduced,start to caretakes care about their possessions. Subsequently, they have no thought about the life blooming with feelings and experiences that can not be bought.

All in all, I admit, today people today are surrounded with their items, considering them as a sign for better status, but each of them is making himself/herself isolated from thatthis society. Nevertheless, I believe, we should not replace real human qualities with stocks of things and we should try to live in sense of kindness and love.

Well it is my humble attempt to mark out mistakes and i am not an expert...
OP Real Fog 5 / 26  
May 12, 2011   #3
Good =) Thanks Ultimate csp. I have accepted only 6 corrections =) the remaining was somehow inaccurate ..anyway my appreciation.

Any feedback ??
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
May 14, 2011   #4
Hi Turbina, I'm so glad to help with your essays because I'm grateful for all the help you've given here...

You can use the word "consumerism" effectively instead of egoism if you want to... but egoism works well, especially as you dig deep and show that people not only want things but also want things that they can use to pretend that they are better people than they really are! This is a meaningful essay...

Living in the economic era----What is the economic era? Maybe I am just unfamiliar with the term... but I thought we were living in an era of globalization and digital technology... every era is an economic era if a society has currency. Maybe you can say "era of consumerism" instead...

Keep egoism as the main theme, but use the word consumerism if it is useful to you.

Furthermore, I have an impression that in the past family members gathered together after a working day to share with their news or experiences, so that proper communication within the family is constituted and warm feelings amongst them are created.

All in all, I admit observe that people today are surrounded with their items considering them as a sign for better status, but each of them is making himself isolated from that society.

Nevertheless Therfore, I believe we...

:-)


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