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As the day goes by, the increasing of crime rate has never been stopped


Brian Trinanda 2 / -  
Feb 13, 2015   #1
IELTS Writing task 2:

Crime rate is a problem all over the world. Some believe that crime prevention will make no difference. Discuss both views and give your opinion!

As the day goes by, the increasing of crime rate has never been stopped, moreover has grown to be worse and worse along with the born of new kinds of criminality. It has been spreading and growing the many kinds of sectors around the world. Cyber crime is one of those. Beside that, as we call by "Primitive Crime" such as robbery, pickpocket, and etc. are still happened everywhere.

Ironically, even we have a Police officer as a government agent who has responsibility to solve those cases, the condition has never changed. Simply, we could say that government is failed. It does not mean that I have underestimated my honorable government, but as a fact, we can see it clearly. The wide border between the government agents-the police-with the society is one of the main reason why the crime rate's problem can not be solved yet, until today. Without the good cooperation between the police as a government agent and the society, the crime will not be able to be prevented, and the criminality has never been stopped. The new strategy is needed to deal with it.

Firstly, Police officers should change their imagery, which change the arrogantly and the rough of police's image to be soft and with full of hospitality. The good imagery of the Police might be able to attract the society and rebuild the range between them to be close. Gaining the intention of the society means gaining the society's belief; therefore it can bring the police closely involved as a part of the society. Along with this new condition, gradually Police can be a good figure for the society, be a hero for the teens, while it can be more easily to give the advices in order to prevent the crime in the future.

Lastly, The Police must also give more attention to the teens. Education side is one of the appropriate fields that can be involved with, through giving the materials, or even just showing the good figure to the teens. Police can save them from the criminality in the future.

In my conclusion, the criminality can be solved and prevented as long as the police is able to get involved in the society and arrange the good cooperation between them.
Vns9x 102 / 236 16  
Feb 13, 2015   #2
Along with this new condition, gradually Police can be a good figure for the society, be a hero for the teens, while it can be more easily to give the advices in order to prevent the crime in the future. This sentence is too lengthy, attempt to cut off and be more laconic.

As the day goes by, the increasing of crime rate has never been stopped, moreover has grown to be worse and worse along with the born of new kinds of criminality. This also has the same issue. what is the point to write Firstly and lastly??


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