which are about toendrun out such as oil and gas and without them
we will not be able to produce electricity
just electricity? I suggest to change electricity to "energy" as a more general term.
Electricity is the main source that our individuals utilize
electricity is not a source, electricity is a type of energy produced in power plants and used by people. For example, the light is an energy but its source can be the sun, but the light itself is not an energy resource, the sun is.
Consequently, finding another source of energy is indispensable, otherwise it would be inhospitable to live on this planet.
based on what you explained in the body paragraph, I, as a reader, did not come to this conclusion. You talked more about the importance of electricity, but you failed to support what you said in the topic sentence. You could have written about gas power plants to say if gas, as an electrical energy resource, runs out, there is no alternative resource to be replaced with.
contaminatejeopardize our environment, as well as, the mankind.
For instance, cars or vehicle need petrolfor them to operate and they usually pollute ourthe atmosphere by emanating emissions also known asproducing greenhouse gases like carbon dioxide. This can lead towards ailments and diseases for the humankind such as lung cancers and cardiovascular issues . Hence, the government need to immediately take actions to at least suppress those emissions and the most promising way to do so, is to search for another source of energy(what kind of energy do you mean? What type of energy do you think is appropriate and can decrease the current environmental issues stemmed from fossil fuels?) .
ThusIn conclusion , (reword the thesis statement first, then give your own opinion) I have a robust belief that it is imperative for the government to take on the responsibilities of humankind and look for the substitutes for the current sources before facing the repercussions.
hope this helps.
Cheers,
Ahmad