As the result of globalization, international travel's expense are now declined and tourism activity is now rising.
Some of the major effects caused by globalization include the increase of tourism actvity and decrease of international expense.
try to observe parallelism,this sentence could also be further shortened.This has become one of the significant issues for every countries
this phrase is misleading because previous sentence has two subjectsThe following essay will analyzes the effect of increased tourism activity in the economy
The volume of tourists ascending on many tourist attractions means
The ascending volume of visitors on many tourist attractions means
Moreover, accelerating tourism activities generates
accelerating is not the correct word for this..
Overall i have noticed frequent grammar issues,wrong choice of words. Nevertheless,you have good ideas for the essay prompt.