Overall, I can see several problems in your writing:
1. you overused "that ..." clauses, unnecessarily. for example, the following correction may make the sentence easier to understand
In children, cognitive learning is a fundamental skill that uses to gether knowledge from surrounding circumstances.
2. your body paragraphs all have an opening sentence and that is good. but the following sentences are not well developed or organized to support the opening.
3. you were trying to use less frequently used words and I can see your attempt to paraphrase. but your accuracy needs improvement