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(IELTS essay) Corporal punishment to discipline children?


answers: 8
Some people believe that corporal punishment will spoil the children. While others believe that, it is the best method of teaching discipline to children. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.



Many parents use physical punishment to discipline their children. Others prefer to use different methods to reward good behavior or punish misbehavior. It became a controversial issue nowadays. However, I am partially agreeing the physical punishment. In this essay, I will explore the both sides of this argument.


Admittedly, there are many reasons to allow corporal punishment. First point is that, for childrens’ better future, it is vital to teach them discipline form their childhood onward by using appropriate methods including physical punishment. Some parents feel it is difficult to manage small children without physical punishment. The second point is that, it is quick and effective. For instance, it can be useful to smack a two years old child quickly, who is creaming unnecessarily. Thirdly, as it is more memorable, it deters them from repeating the same mistake in the future. Significantly, it will help them to learn the right from the wrong in a better way if use properly.


Nevertheless, if parents are allowed to hit their children for the sake of teaching discipline, some parents may lose control and can injure children. They may find it as an easy way to release their stress. It will lead to more physical and emotional damage on children. It further spoil the good relationship between the child and parents. Particularly, when it not proportional to their age and seriousness of the crime. For instance, beating 16 yrs old who came late from school once is not good as smacking a screaming 2years old child.


Additionally, physical punishment is banned in some countries and schools because of some solid reasons. Chief among this is that, this will protect the child from abuse. Another point is that, it teaches the children that they can use force to make others to do what we want, especially when didn’t understand their mistake. Besides, small words of appreciations and motivations are not only, beneficial for children to understand their mistakes and think about it, but also, to develop and follow good habits.
In conclusion, physical punishment causes adverse impacts on childrens’ life. In my perception, it can be a useful method of discipline in small children, if used carefully, as a last resort.

Dec 18, 2012, 03:17am   #
joythblessy:
Many parents use physical punishment to discipline their children. Others prefer to use different methods to reward good behavior or punish misbehavior.

In the first sentence you talk about physical punishment as means of disciplining children. In the second line however, your idea does not come out that well : ( ............. it does not give the idea clearly that others try different methods in replacement of physical punishments such as rewarding good behaviors in order to make their children disciplined. You better re-phrase the second line. :)

joythblessy:
In this essay, I will explore the both sides of this argument.

This is not adding any value to your essay because your exminer expects you to do this. Instead tell your opinion straight; agree/ disagree or moderate stance :)
Dec 18, 2012, 04:47am   #
joythblessy:
It became a controversial issue nowadays.

It has become a controversial issue nowadays.

joythblessy:
The second point is that,

"secondly" would sound nicer.

joythblessy:
Additionally, physical punishment is banned in some countries and schools because of some solid reasons.

I don't think you need to say "additionally" here.

Your essay is a good but I think you need to present it in a better manner. Otherwise the reader would lose interest.
Hai..

Thanks .... Dumi, Pahan and eva..

I changed the second sentence.

Others believe that, reward good behavior or punish misbehavior is the better way than corporal punishment, while dealing with children.

Thanks..
Tessy
Dec 18, 2012, 08:41am   #
Hi Tessy,

Please find my comments below. In general, your essay is good, however your should pay attention a little bit more on the coherence. Cheers :)


These days, it seems that there are many Many parents are still in favour of use using physical punishment to discipline their children. this raises a controversial question of whether if this teaching method is really good or not. Others prefer to use different methods to reward good behavior or punish misbehavior. It became a controversial issue nowadays . However, I am partially agreeing the physical punishment. In this essay, I will explore the both sides of this argument and present my own opinions.


Admittedly, there are many several reasons to for maintaining allow corporal punishment. First point is that To begin with, for childrens’ better future, it is vital to teach them discipline form their early childhood onward by using appropriate methods including physical punishment. This drives from the facts that it is too difficult for parents now and then to manage their small children. In situations that traditional methods such as persuading, explaining or even screaming are helpless, this method seems to be the final one. Some parents feel it is difficult to manage small children without physical punishment. The second point is that, this method of teaching shows its quickness and effectiveness in adjusting children's behaviors at a time it is quick and effective. For instance, it can be useful to smack a two three-years - old child to quickly stop him from , who is screaming unnecessarily. Thirdly Finally, as it is more memorable those painful moments can make deep impression in children's minds, it deters them from repeating the same mistakes in the future. Therefore, Significantly, it will help them to learn the rights from the wrongs in a better way manner if use this way of teaching is used appropriately and selectively depending upon certain circumstancesd properly.


Nevertheless, this method has some drawbacks. if parents are allowed to hit their children for the sake of teaching discipline teaching discipline is used just as a shield for frequent smacking children, it may cause immeasurable consequences. Some parents may lose control and can injure children. More dangerously, They may even find it as an easy way to release their stress. Over the time, It will lead to more physical and emotional damages on to theirchildren. It and further spoil the good relationship between the child and parents. Particularly, when it not proportional to their age and seriousness of the crime. For instance, beating 16 yrs old who came late from school once is not good as comparable to smacking a screaming 2years old two-year-old child.


Additionally, physical punishment is banned in some countries and schools because of some solid reasons. Chief among this is that, this will protect the child from abuse bullying. Another point is that, it teaches the children that they can use force to make others to do what we want, especially when didn’t understand their mistake. Besides, small words of appreciations and motivations are not only, beneficial for children to understand their mistakes and think about it, but also, to develop construct and follow good habits.

In conclusion, physical punishment causes adverse impacts on childrens’ life. In my perception, it can be a useful method of discipline in small children, and if is only used carefully, selectively, as a last resort.
Hai Hungvud...

Thank you so much for your correction.
It is out standing correction..
Thank you so much...

In general how can i improve my coherence...?

Thanks for your supports...
Tessy
Dec 18, 2012, 08:48pm   #
However, I am partially agreeing the physical punishment.
==>>However, I am partially agree with the physical punishment.

First point is that, for childrens' better future, it is vital to teach them discipline form their childhood onward by using appropriate methods including physical punishment.
==>>From an educational perspective, it is vital to teach children discipline form childhood by using some appropriate methods such as the physical punishment.

Some parents feel it is difficult to manage small children without physical punishment.
==>>Some parents may find it is difficult to educate yong children without physical punishment.

Significantly, it will help them to learn the right from the wrong in a better way if use properly.
==>>Significantly, it will help them to learn from the failures in a better way if we use properly.

Nevertheless, if parents are allowed to hit their children for the sake of teaching discipline, some parents may lose control and can injure children.
==>>Nevertheless, if parents are allowed to punish their children for the sake of education, some parents may lose control and hurt children.

Particularly, when it not proportional to their age and seriousness of the crime.
==>>Particularly, there are some time when it not proportional to their age and seriousness of the crime.



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