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Compare and contrast - knowledge gained from personal experience vs. classroom


answers: 6
Jun 14, 2011, 10:38am   #
TITLE:It has been said, "Not all learning takes place in the classroom." Compare and contrast knowledge gained from personal experience with knowledge gained from classroom. Instruction. In your opinion, which source is more important?Why?

Please help me with my English writing. I think I have Elementary words. Your comments and suggestions will be much appreciated. Thank you very much!

In life, Education is considered by our parents to be the greatest they can bequeath to us. But to those who cannot send by the parents to school, the learn-through-playing way will be their way of basic education. Proper education is badly needed by children since they will be able to take it in way to become successful in the years ahead. But I believe that learning outside the classrooms give everyone more knowledge than being inside of it.

"Experience is the best teacher", this is what majority believes in. Trials in our lives imparted skills for us to be strong enough to face our coming futures. It is definitely the reason why our Creator has filled tests in the our experience being alive not to serve as a barriers to become successful, but to recognize and appreciate Him more often than not. On the other hand, gaining from classrooms is surely the other-way-around form of learning. Children tend to receive different kind of approach, by which, it is the teacher examines each student to know how much capable are they to proceed to the next level of learning. Students are expected to show how aware they are,from the factual information the teacher fed them.

The learning you had from your past outside the classroom is considered primarily for you to achieve your goal in the future, though graduating from school is the primary basis of having a good job, It is still your experience will help you in proper dealing with everything in the outside world.

As one who learned to differentiate the the knowledge gained in and out of classrooms, I considered outside the classroom learning benefits for me more than inside. It is still the learning that you have with your family and friends that count more than anything else.
Jun 14, 2011, 02:03pm   #
In life, Education is considered by our parents to be the greatest they can bequeath to us.---You can say 'In life', but I always hate when people use that, as everything we do is 'in life' and frankly, it is written a lot!!

But to those who cannot be sent by their parents to school, the learn-through-playing way will be their way of basic education.

"Experience is the best teacher", this is what the majority believes in.

It is definitely the reason why our Creator has filled tests in the our experience of being alive, not to serve as a barriers to becoming successful, but to recognize and appreciate Him more often than not.

On the other hand, gaining knowledge from classrooms is surely the other-way-around form of learning.

Children tend to receive a different kind of approach, or types of education, by which, it is the teacher who examines each student to know how much capable are they to proceed...

...though graduating from school is the primary basis for having a good job, it is still your experiences which will help you in properly dealing with everything in the outside world.---good point!

As one who learned to differentiate between the the knowledge gained in and out of classrooms, I considered outside the classroom learning benefits for me more than inside.

You've made some very good points! Good luck in school, and have fun!

:)
Jun 15, 2011, 01:14am   #
Dear Khinier,

I haven't corrected your essay in term of grammar, but I can give you a feedback about the structure of your essay.

First of all, I don't think so your problem is basic vocab. You better try to follow a clear structure with short and not complicated sentences.


In life, Education is considered by our parents to be the greatest they can bequeath to us. But to those who cannot send by the parents to school, the learn-through-playing way will be their way of basic education. Proper education is badly strongly needed by children since they will to be able to take it in a way to become successful in the years ahead. But I believe that learning outside the classrooms give everyone more knowledge than being inside of it. ( you can put this sentence in the conclusion. In IELTS test you don't need to determine your opinion in the introduction). ( I think your introduction should be shorter, try to use short, meaningful sentences)

"Experience is the best teacher", this is what majority of people believes in. Trials in our lives imparted skills for us to be strong enough to face our coming futures. It is definitely the reason why our creator has filled tests in the our experience being alive not to serve as a barriers to become successful, but to recognize and appreciate Him more often than not. On the other hand, gaining from classrooms is surely the other-way-around form of learning. Children tend to receive different kind of approach, by which, it is the teacher examines each student to know how much capable are they to proceed to the next level of learning. Students are expected to show how aware they are,from the factual information the teacher fed them. (look at this paragraph, you have mentioned two claims in one paragraph and linked them by "On the other hand". It is better to get one claim in each paragraph as the first sentence and then write at least 3 sentences as supporting sentences following that. So, here is better to break this paragraph to two paragraphs with more sentences)

The learning you had from your past outside the classroom is considered primarily for you to achieve your goal in the future, though graduating from school is the primary basis of having a good job, It is still your experience will help you in proper dealing with everything in the outside world.( A long sentence as one paragraph is not acceptable , you have to try to write at least 4 sentences in each paragraph. So, in term of structure you can not get more than 5 I think)

As one who learned to differentiate the the knowledge gained in and out of classrooms, I considered outside the classroom learning benefits for me more than inside. It is still the learning that you have with your family and friends that count more than anything else.
Jun 16, 2011, 03:56am   #
Parmiss:
It is definitely the reason why our creator has filled tests in the our experience


I think the word "creator" here should be in capital letter like what Ms. Khinie wrote because it pertains to "God". please correct me if I'm wrong.



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