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Compare the advantages and disadvantages of establishing a new university in your own


Habib Rastegar 8 / 18 1  
May 24, 2013   #1
Please correct my own probable grammatical errors, and of course rate it from 30.
Thanks so much.

University is the most important part in each city like the heart inside the human body. Establishing a university in my own town has both its advantages and disadvantages. However, I strongly agree with the idea of constructing a new university in my own community. As far as I am concerned there are the conspicuous aspects as follows.

To begin with, university brings with itself money. If a university is established in my community, many students and professors definitely would migrate to my metropolis to continue their education. Certainly, educators especially freshman students need dorm or houses to be located. Thus, they have to pay money to staff of the university or college to reserve a room in dormitories. They also need foods and fruits to eat. Thus, they have to refer to hypermarkets or big malls to purchase their fundamental requirements to be able to have power to continue their personal lives. Moreover, money must be paid by the students to buy their university books and take their courses at the beginning the semester. So, students as well as university are the sources of budget for people of my community.

Furthermore, not only students but also other members of the university can be familiared with my culture and traditional backgrounds through attending my community university. Nowadays, world is like a small village and people migrate from their countries in dreams of finding better career and educational system to other countries which might are located in other continents. If a new university were established in my community, there would be many international students in my own city. Additionally, there are a lot of captive historical places in my settlement such as museums, monuments and shrines. Therefore, foreign students have the opportunity to visit these places and learn new things from our customs and culture. When they come back to their countries, they will state our memories about my traditions to their family and friends. Therefore, my people's culture can be known to others through university and students.

Last but not least, university can bring traffic and noise. As a new university is established, the population of my town will increase dramatically and the numbers of the cars and other sorts of public transportation will boosts, too. The outcomes of population increasing are noise, harsh voice, and traffic congestion. Cars and other kinds of vehicles produce and emit smog to the environment and this smoggy air is the causes of many harmful diseases. Traffic can be accommodated with mental and physical illnesses due to harsh noise and probable accidents.

To sum up from what I have discussed above, we can draw a safely conclusion that university is a two-sword knife. It can enrich my own community and other people to make knowing my cultures. However, it can polluted the air and bring mental and physical diseases. In short, the advantages of establishing of a university in my own university overweigh the disadvantages.
Shumaila86 11 / 31 9  
May 24, 2013   #2
AOA Habib, I just read yer essay. yer ideas are really impressing and covering the whole of the topic. But, I found some dangerous mistakes of grammar. sentence structure is faulty, not following a sequence, and tenses are wrong at some places. yer punctuation are correct.

P.S. i am preparing for IELTS, that is why i am more concerned about grammatical errors.
OP Habib Rastegar 8 / 18 1  
May 24, 2013   #3
Thanks Shumaila.
I am worried for my grammar, too.
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
Jun 12, 2013   #4
University is the most important part in each city like the heart inside the human body.

This line does not make sense.... It sounds confusing too.... What do you mean?

Establishing a university in my own town has bothits advantages and disadvantages

As far as I am concerned there are the conspicuous aspects as follows.

.... Again this sounds confusing.... Try to avoid the words that you are not sure about their meaning and usage. Write simple, yet interesting sentences. For example;

I believe that advantages of having a university in my town will certainly outweigh its disadvantages.


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