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It is clear to be seen that NGOs, social groups and communities are ubiquitous in recent years


manutd9111993 3 / 10 2  
Jan 1, 2015   #1
Young people are much more aware of and concerned about issues like the environment, poverty, and animal welfare than previous generations. What is your own opinion?

Many people believe that both young and old people are sharing the same amount of interest in global problems such as the environment, poverty, animal welfare, etc. at the moment. Nevertheless, I feel that these social issues are much more concerned about by younger generation.

First, it is clear to be seen that NGOs, social groups and communities are ubiquitous in recent years. They are established all over the world and mostly by young people. The duty of the members who joined these groups and organizations may be to clean the streets, collect garbage or collect old books and clothes and send them to those who could not earn enough to afford.

Second, it is necessary for young people to take quick action to tackle all the dangerous issues before it is too late. Young people are the future generation of their nations specifically and of the world generally. It is undeniable that problems today are what young generation will have to face with tomorrow. Therefore, the sooner these problems are completely solved, the more peaceful life young people will be able to enjoy.

Last but not least, it is one typical way of showing sympathy and patriotism by taking care of social issues like the environment or poverty. For example, a rather small action like raising money for charity may save a large number of people who find it quite difficult affording a meal from dying of starving. As a result, the pressure on the government wanes and it may focus on developing other fields of the country.

In conclusion, it is impossible to say old people do not take care of global issues which are occurring. However, to some extent, young generation still show more interest in them.
kamen15 1 / 2 1  
Jan 1, 2015   #2
The headers, such "In conclusion" seem a little too scripted like you're just trying to fill in the blanks. Try writing it so that it flows without you adding the headers. There are a lot of grammar issues that I bet you could correct if you just read over it. Like "I feel that these social issues are much more concerned about by younger generation." . Other than that your points are strong just try to work on making everything flow together.
OP manutd9111993 3 / 10 2  
Jan 1, 2015   #3
Thanks a lot for your help @kamen 15. I'll try harder next time. :D


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