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"Claudia, my cousin and best friend" - Describe a person you know


answers: 4
Please, if anyone could read and correct my mistakes, I would be very thankful.

Describe a person you know.

Claudia is my cousin and also my best friend. She is single but she has a boyfriend. As she is a PE teacher, she likes working outdoors with people of all ages. On weekdays she gets up very early in the morning and works until eleven o'clock in the evening so she is not able to spend much time with her family and friends. On weekends she travels as much as she can, considering she likes going to original places and loves new experiences. She loves shopping and she buys whatever catches her eye. Her house is full of electric appliances and her wardrobe is full of clothes she does not need.
Being so peace-loving, Claudia does not like conflict and tries to avoid any type of it. My cousin, who is especially loyal to her internal value systems, believes that family is extremely important and so she dedicates all her spare time to them. Friends are also central in her life and this is shown in her reliableness and faithfulness. A strong sense of responsibility and duty guides her behaviour towards people in need. Although she has all these many qualities, her obstinacy and childish reactions make her rather immature. For example, her obsessive jealousy of her boyfriend leads to real fights in front of other people.
For Claudia, the keys to success are hard work, honesty and perseverance. That is why she is working her fingers to the bone to buy a house and start her own business. Travelling to the United States to take an advance course in dancing and aerobics is also a short-term goal in her life as well as preparing to get married and start a family. Undoubtedly my cousin is an extraordinarily unique person that is why I love her.

reading through, these are some mistakes that I found in order. Good content overall! :)


* single, but
*As a Physical Education
*weekdays, she
*evenings; she is not able to
*spend much time with her family and friends.
*She travels as much as she can on weekends, considering
try different word choice here; enjoys?>> * she (loves) shopping andshe buys
*and so she dedicates
*life. This is
the red squiggly line is lying. It's a word, I promise! >>*her obstinance and
*her appear rather immature
word choice; loud arguments?/ public?>>*leads to real fights in front of other people
*advanced course
*in her life, as well as
*person, and that
Apr 19, 2011, 05:14am   #3
Claudia is my cousin and also my best friend. She is single, but she has a boyfriend. As she is a PE teacher, she likes working outdoors with people of all ages. On weekdays, she gets up very early in the morning and works until eleven o'clock in the evening, so she is not able to spend much time with her family and friends. On weekends, she travels as much as she can, considering she likes going to original places and loves new experiences. She loves shopping and she buys whatever catches her eyes. Her house is full of electric appliances and her wardrobe is full of clothes she does not need.
Being so peace-loving, Claudia does not like conflict and tries to avoid any type of it. My cousin, who is especially loyal to her internal value systems, believes that family is extremely important and so she dedicates all her spare time to them. Friends are also central in her life and this is shown in her reliableness and faithfulness. A strong sense of responsibility and duty guides her behaviour towards people in need. Although she has all these many qualities, her obstinacy and childish reactions make her rather immature. For example, her obsessive jealousy of her boyfriend leads to real fights in front of other people.
For Claudia, the keys to success are hard work, honesty and perseverance. That is why she is working her fingers to the bone to buy a house and start her own business. Travelling to the United States to take an advance course in dancing and aerobics is also a short-term goal in her life as well as preparing to get married and start a family. Undoubtedly, my cousin is an extraordinarily unique person that is why I love her.

Good essay! However, there are many punctuation errors.
brinastar:
My cousin, who is especially loyal to her internal value systems, believes that family is extremely important and so she dedicates all her spare time to them

Perfect...

You have a great writing style.

That is why she is working her fingers to the bone to buy a house and start her own business. Travelling to the United States to take an advanced course in dancing and aerobics is also a short-term goal in her life as well as preparing to get married and start a family. ---That sounds excellent! Look for the small change I made here. Can you find it?

:-)



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