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Cities become unpleasent places....


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Jun 27, 2012, 01:02pm   #1
It is an IELTS essay. I need more comments. thank you in advance!!!

Many cities have become less pleasant places to live in recent years. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?[i][/i]

In the past people could go to travel, live or work everywhere they wanted, unfortunately, nowadays some country's cities getting worse. People are frightening to go there for traveling or for dwelling. there are some problems which should be solved in order to improve cities' condition.

In my opinion, the first problem is air pollution in the cities. Nowadays, there are an immense of cars and factories which can produce the smog in the cities. It can cause to people in very high level. For example, they can aggravate bronchitis and may even cause cancer. Some people suffer from breathing or other health problems. Elderly people do not feel safe in their homes. So that is why, people are not going to live or move to the metropolises.

To solve this trouble we have to reduce waste disposals, driving cars, producing less chemicals and industries which are released the worst one. For instance, when coal is burnt in power stations to give electricity, it produces two major gases which cause acid rain.

The second one is unfriendliness which is the worst habit in our life. When people move to like this place, they feel lonely and some strange. Neighbors do not speak to each other or do not help each other. It is too boring live like these places. In my view, everyone should be more attentive to each other. For example, if your neighbor is new there where you live, you have to help them concentrate on to this place.

To sum up, all countries should be more attentive to their cities. They need to create new places for people who are arriving there and build new houses for people who are moving there.

In the past people could go to travel, live or work everywhere anywhere they wanted. unfortunately Unfortunately, nowadays some country's cities getting worse. People are frightening to go there for traveling or for dwelling. there are some problems which should be solved in order to improve cities' condition. As a result, people aren't ready to travel or dwell in such cities.

In my opinion, the first problem is air pollution. in the cities. Nowadays, there are an immense a huge number of cars and factories which can produce the smog in the cities. It can cause to people in very high level. It can result in various health problems among people. For example, they can aggravate bronchitis and may even cause cancer. Some people suffer from breathing or other health problems. Elderly people do not feel safe in their homes. So that is why, people are not going to live or move to the metropolises.

To solve this trouble we have to reduce waste disposals, driving cars, the use of cars that produce producing less chemicals and industries which are released the worst one. (contradiction) For instance, when coal is burnt in power stations to give electricity, it produces two major gases which cause acid rain.

The second one is unfriendliness which is the worst habit in our life. When people move to like this place, they feel lonely and some strange. Neighbors do not speak to each other or do not help each other. It is too boring live like these places. In my view, everyone should be more attentive to each other. For example, if your neighbor is new there where you live, you have to help them concentrate on to this place.
(Are you talking about adjusting to a new place?)

To sum up, all countries should be more attentive to their cities. They need to create new places for people who are arriving there and build new houses for people who are moving there.
Jun 27, 2012, 02:53pm   #4
In the past people could go to travel, live or work everywhere they wanted,(I think it is better to tell "cities were beautiful in the past; instead of travel,live or work.... unfortunately, nowadays some country's some cities getting worse. People are frightening reluctant to go there for traveling or for dwelling migrate because there are some of problems such as pollution, safety, social interaction among people,which should be improve in order to solve cities' condition.

In my opinion, the first problem is air pollution ( why only air pollution, better talk about POLLUTION in general and elaborate it to Noise, air, visual pollution in the cities. Nowadays, there are an immense of innumerable cars and factories which can produce the smog in the cities. It can cause to people in very high level. For example, they can aggravate bronchitis and may even cause cancer. Some people suffer from breathing or other health problems.

(Shady, you can make it one paragraph talking about SAFETY. not only elderly but also young, children and....... people as a whole
Elderly people do not feel safe in their homes. So that is why, people are not going to live or move to the metropolises.

To solve this trouble we have to reduce waste disposals, driving cars, producing less chemicals and industries which are released the worst one. For instance, when coal is burnt in power stations to give electricity, it produces two major gases which cause acid rain.

The second one is unfriendliness ( social attitude and interactions among people , which is the worst habit in our life. ( is it because of technology, TV, internet , game etc. , you can add it)When people move to like this place, they feel lonely and some strange. Neighbors do not speak to each other or do not help each other. It is too boring live like these places. In my view, everyone should be more attentive to each other. For example, if your neighbor is new there where you live, you have to help them concentrate on to this place.

To sum up, all countries should be more attentive to their cities. They need to create new places for people who are arriving there and build new houses for people who are moving there.

I am not expert in marking but your essay is good in contents. Needs only organizing in clear paragraphs.

With Best,



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