You write very well, better every time. You don't have many mistakes, so I want to talk about STYLE:
Add a thesis sentence to that first paragraph. Maybe you think this is a thesis statement:Actually, each point of view has some strong reasons to support their position.
However, it is not meaningful enough to make the essay worth writing. Add a sentence that will share an interesting insight that came from doing this comparison.
Then, start paragraph 2:
People who believe that sending children to
school at a very early age is good
think that it ...
... will gain the habit to study. They will learn that study is an important thing in life. They will have the ...
The other point of view, that contradicts the first one, admits that young children have to take all the advantage from their childhood. They have to spend most of their time playing in order to feel the happiness , the comfort and the enthusiasm of life. However, spending most of their
time playing prevents children from having any regrets about their childhood.
You write without many errors, but I think this sentence is a logical fallacy. Many people shirk their studies during childhood and have regrets, while others who study hard have fewer regrets. Students should become "lifelong learners," and the only way to achieve that is for us to instill in them an appreciation for study... so that study and enjoyment become one thing.
Because they have spend all the necessary time to play, and they will be plenty ready to study. ...--- again, I don't think play prepares students for study. Study prepares them for study. :-)
In my opinion, children should begin their formal education at a very early age.--- oh, I see that we agree.
In the childhood, children should have some equilibrium in what they do. --- wow, very good ending!!