such as elevators, ATMs, automobiles, cellular phones
You chose these examples and talk about nuclear energy and medical changes. It would help to recap just the examples you will be writing about later in the essay. Or put another way, you should provide a context for the examples you list. The nuclear energy example is awkward as uranium is not a "change" but a new form of energy.
The first part of this sentence does not make sense in conjunction with the second - what does medicine and inquisitive minds have to do with
convenience goods , health deterioration and loss of personal security?
out health deterioration - our ?
However, as medicine and inquisitive minds have also developed, we unfortunately have learned many convenient goods have led to out health deterioration and loss of personal security.
This can be improved and no need for "etc."- what travesties?
reduce travesties, etc
Again, first part of sentence doesn't quite connect with the second:
We must decide whether change improves or exacerbates, and if it does exacerbate the situation, we must seek for change to create another opportunity for a better life.
Do you mean if change makes things worse, then more change is required to make things better??