It would really help to review your writing if you provided the writing prompt for the essay. Over all though, it is a solidly written essay that shows a clear understanding of the effects of technology on the 21st century relationship of people and how they communicate or stay in touch. Mentioning the changes in the way people do business because of technology was a nice touch as well. However, there are a few grammar issues that I feel I need to point out for the betterment of this paper. What I wish to point out are as follows:
people are using technology in almost everything in their day-to-day lives
- in everything
they do in their day-to- day lives...
significant change in the way people are communicating
- in the way people
communicateFreely available software's like skype
-
Software is the singular and plural form of the wordthese applications are helpful to make major decisions without traveling to client location.
-helpful in making major decisions without
the need to travel
to the client location
Telephone has become basic necessity and is allowing everyone to be connected to their loved ones
-
The telephone is a basic necessity that allows ...
One major advancements in latest technology
...
watch live news
-
watching live...
apart form basic phone features.
- apart
from basic...
easier for social interactions .
Facebook one of the popularly used social networking site is allowing an individual
- Facebook
, one of the ... site
allows ...
and discuss on various topics
has both boon and bane
- has both
advantages and disadvantagesbecause of high usage of gadgets
- because of
the high...
Also, there is an impact on traditional ways of communication like letter writing.
- You should discuss this a little bit more since you mentioned that the way we communicate is changing. Explain letter writing as a dying form of communication.
It has helped improvement in communication industry.
- helped
improve the ...
With 5 being the highest band score, If I were the examiner, I would give this a 3.5 due to the grammar problems present in the essay.