Unanswered [6] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 5


The 20th century has given us inventions that have changed our lives in many ways.


rhj 2 / 3 1  
Mar 28, 2013   #1
The 20th century has given us inventions that have changed our lives in many ways. Big inventions often overshadow small ones. Write an essay stating whether big or small inventions occupy a more important role in the daily lives of individuals. Give reasons to support your position.

Essay:

The 20th century inventions in technology, science, medicine and many other sectors has transformed our lives, making it easier and interesting then ever before. Big inventions such as jet plane, elevator, mobile phone, ipad, digital camera are more popular than small inventions such as post-it, food processor, vaccum cleaner, tv remote controll. Why so? Why small inventions that makes our daily lives easier are not as popular as the big ones.

Small inventions are often more affordable and necessary. However, it is observed that people are more attracted towards the gadgets that are more expensive and less used; often just a fashionable item. As a mother, I feel small invention such as a baby stroller is crucial in my life than a jet plane. However, a marketing professional whose job involves lot of travelling will find a jet plane more useful . So does it mean that importance of invention whether big or small depends on the user and what role it plays in their lives. It makes sense!

Over the years inventions have helped human race in many ways. People experiment and invent things when there is a need. At times inventions happen by accident and sometimes creative adventure leads to certain inventions. I believe it is up to the user to decide whether they are big or small, useful or worthless, attractive or ugly, meaningful or hopeless. Any invention is a work of art and a fruit of dedication.
fams 3 / 9  
Mar 28, 2013   #2
Hello,

This is a promising essay.
From what I understand you need to write an argumentative text for the given statement.
What I usually do in these situations, is to identify at least two or three reasons to support my claim.
This is a matter of taste, though very useful for standardized tests like TOEFL, SAT, GRE...

Below I have made some comments about the content.

The 20th century inventions in technology, science, medicine and many other sectors has transformed our lives

[...] have [...]

Big inventions such

Large [...]

Why so?

An= formal easy usually doesn't have questions. Try to rephrase it as "The main reasons that small inventions..."

a baby stroller is crucial in my life than a jet plane

"than" demands comparison. You could simply say... "a baby stroller is more important to me than a jet plane"

It makes sense!

These type of phrases don't belong in a formal essay. You could simply dismiss it.

meaningful or hopeless

More suitable antonyms for "meaningful" would be "meaningless" or "insignificant"
I recommend this website for synonyms / antonyms: thesaurus.com

Keep up the good work!

Cheers,
OP rhj 2 / 3 1  
Mar 28, 2013   #3
Thanks for your inputs. I appreciate it.
karmalove 4 / 7  
Mar 29, 2013   #4
You tend to use 'However' a lot in here!

"So does it mean that importance of invention whether big or small depends on the user and what role it plays in their lives" Place a question mark after this! :) It sounds like you're asking a question!

"Why small inventions that makes our daily lives easier are not as popular as the big ones. " Why AREN'T small inventions that make (no s) our daily lives easier are not as popular as the big ones QUESTION MARK :)
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
Mar 31, 2013   #5
The 20th century inventions in technology, science, medicine and many other sectors has transformed our lives, making it easier and interesting then ever before.

The inventions of the 20th century, be them in medicine, engineering, commerce, art or any other important field, they have transformed our life-styles into more comfortable, efficient and convenient ones in contrast to what they had been earlier.

Big inventions such as jet plane, elevator, mobile phone, ipad, digital camera are more popular than small inventions such as post-it, food processor, vaccum cleaner, tv remote controll.

... well ... I think you better highlight the overshadowing case here. That's the main theme of your topic.

Small inventions are often more affordable and necessaryneeded in daily chores .


Home / Writing Feedback / The 20th century has given us inventions that have changed our lives in many ways.
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳