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IELTS-is a break good or bad after high school for students?


ajit88rai 22 / 188 3  
Jan 28, 2011   #1
topic-

In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

answer-

Studies are an essential part of life.Some countries permit students to take a break from studies between high school and university studies, while in some countries, it is considered as waste of time. However, a break of one year is good for young people after finishing their high school.

In most education systems, a child studies continously from the age of 5 till 16 years of age. A relaxation of one year to young minds will give them a quintessential change. A continous study pressure for over 10 years makes the mind saturated and like a robot, to follow instructions. Personally, a break will give students some time to refresh their systems, by travelling or following their hobbies. Importantly, when students start their university studies after a break, they will feel fresh and full of energy to take the new challenge.

Nevertheless, during high school, many students face a dilemma to decide which stream should they major in. Working or travelling for some time, after high school, can help them to find their field of interest. It will also help them to learn professional setup by working. Financially,students can save a little money to support their university education by doing a job. Some students even utilise this time for preparation of their desired university course.

However, there are also disadvantages. A break can disturb the focus of students and prove detrimental. When students work during these breaks, the feel of money gives them an illusion that such salary is enough for them and they go in a utopia. For instance, my cousin started working in a customer care centre after high school and got distracted. When he started his university studies, he failed miserably. Students can also indulge in smoking or drinking during this time. But , the break should be an optional thing. It varies from individual to individual, how they utilise that period. A break gives students more benefits than harms.

Importantly, the sole purpose of education is to nurture a young mind and not thrust studies on them. Thus, a break should be necessarily allowed to young minds between their high school and university studies. Countries, like India, where such a break is considered a blot, should understand that young minds are delicate and they face a cut-throat competition. One year break can help young people to prepare for the challenges of life.
ARIA 16 / 43 1  
Jan 28, 2011   #2
Hi Ajit
Your introduction and argument are quite good and strong enough.

there are some small punctuation and ambiguity in first para that I am pretty sure if you look over it you can find and correct it.

in your conclusion you did not put your argumaent about the disadvantage.

the rest is perfect
good luck
Belle15 5 / 11  
Jan 28, 2011   #3
I agree with ARIA there are small punctuations to be fixed. Though I think you have a very strong support towards the topic;) I like your essay, though if you add a thesis it will help the reader know whats coming up, but if it's not neccessay then your good to go.. Good luck

Spacing: Studies are an essential part of life.Some countries

Studies are an essential part of life. Some countries

while in some countries
while in other countries

considered as waste of time
considered a waste of time

Working or travelling for some time , after high school
Working or travelling for sometime , after high school

Spacing: Financially,students
Financially, students

Spacing: But , the
But, the
sabrinayaa 12 / 22  
Jan 31, 2011   #4
Study is an essential part of life.
Is it right?


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