Unanswered [30] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3


It is very boring and monotonous to keep living in the place you were born until you die


mandana193 1 / -  
Jul 26, 2014   #1
Topic 31 ibt: Some people spend their entire lives in one place. Others move a number of times throughout their lives, looking for a better job, house, community, or even climate. Which do you prefer: staying in one place or moving in search of another place?

Nowadays, many young people leave their motherland for many reasons. To many, Living in another country seems exciting. In contrast, the elderly prefer to spend their whole life in their homeland. As we get old, accepting a change becomes harder and it takes more time to get accustomed to new situation. In general, I think it is better to tour the world and find new opportunities waiting for us.

First and foremost, there may be more job opportunities available in another area. For example, many people choose to immigrate to the city to earn more money. The same thing happens in a larger scale, many people immigrate from developing countries. In these countries, usually there are limited occupations, the most common one is farming. Conversely, developed countries are more industrialized and progressed in many fields of technology. Therefore, for an specialized person there are many chances to get a job. Besides, the pay is significantly higher and the standard of living is much more acceptable in theses countries. So the dream of living a happy, convenient life and a money making job attracts many people to such countries.

Second, many students choose to immigrate to study the subject they are interested in. There are many young talented students in backward countries. Many of them endure the hardship of moving to another place just to fulfill their dream of becoming a successful engineer or a doctor for example. They have to stay far from their family for a long time, face many financial problem, and do a lot of hard work to succeed.

Least but not the last, travelling helps us to be more knowledgeable and more experienced. It broadens our horizons and mind and teaches us things that can not be learnt in any school or college. There are many different ways of living in world, many surprising cultures and various people. As a young girl, I am very attracted to novel things. In my view, going to new places, finding foreign friends with different ideas and beliefs, exotic traditions and even different foods and costumes seems very exciting. In addition, while traveling you can see beautiful landscapes and natural scenes, which is absolutely appealing to me because I have lived my entire life in a noisy city.

To sum up, drawing a conclusion based on the aforementioned ideas I should state that, It is very boring and monotonous to keep living in the place you were born until you die. There are still many places on the earth which has not been even discovered yet. Life is full of breathtaking chances, but we have to look for them, even if we love our hometown the most.
BasilMostafa 2 / 2  
Jul 26, 2014   #2
Your introduction states the essay's thesis clearly which is good, but the I didn't get the idea of contrasting young/elderly view points. I think you should have a hook that is more catching

Good Luck
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
Jul 26, 2014   #3
First and foremost, there may be more job opportunities available in another area.outside.
For example, many people choose to immigratemigrate to the city seeking opportuniti es to earn more money.
Least but not the last, travelling helps us to bebecome more knowledgeable and moreexperienced and most importantly broaden our perspectives.

This is a very well written essay ... You display excellent writing skills :)


Home / Writing Feedback / It is very boring and monotonous to keep living in the place you were born until you die
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳