'dissection just fascinates me; anatomy class' - favorite class and why?
What's your favorite class and why?
As the cow's eye was sitting still on the plate, the scapular was firm in my hand. After I trimmed off its fatty tissue, I raised the scapular and poked it into the cornea. But it did not yield easily and so I poked harder. In a flash, the black intraocular fluid gushed out of the wound and splashed onto my face. I wiped off the fluid on my sleeve and resumed my search for the lens.
Even though it may sound repulsive, dissection just fascinates me. When I dissect, I just can't suppress my excitement to explore the logics and intricacies of life.
Even though my Anatomy class involves copious amount of memorization and note taking, it is never boring. Our teacher, Ms. Key, made the class intriguing by linking her stories to the content she was teaching. When we were studying about bones, she told us that it took her tibia more than three years to grow back into its regular shape after she fractured it during a Cross Country race. As I was listening to her fascinating story, I effortlessly learned that bone regeneration is a long and slow process. The interesting facts I can learn in the class seemed innumerable. In the endocrine unit, I was surprised to learn that cold sores never goes away and that it can be spread through kissing on the lips.
At the end of each unit, Ms. Key would list the symptoms of a patient and ask us to diagnose the disease. During such occasions, I would have to piece the clues and relate to what I had learned in order to solve the puzzle. This not only helped me develop my analytical skills, but also provided me the opportunity to apply the knowledge I learned to real-life scenarios.
The next day, my sister told me that she was feeling better, and I felt proud for applying what I learned to help her.
Even though, Anatomy and Physiology involves a copious amount of memorization and note taking, it is never boring. Our teacher, Ms. Belfay, made the class intriguing by linking her stories to the content she was teaching. Once, when we were studying about bones, she told us that it took her tibia more than three years to grow back into its regular shape after she fractured it. As I was listening to her fascinating story, I effortlessly learned that bone regeneration is a long process.
My biggest reward in the class was dissection. During such occasions, I would always volunteer to hold the scalpel for my group. This day, as the cow's eye was sitting still on the plate, I was ready. After I trimmed off the its fats, I raised the scapular and poked it into the cornea. But it did not yield easily and I poked harder. In a flash, the black intraocular fluid gushed out of the wound and splashed onto my face. I wiped off the fluid on my sleeve and resumed my search for the lens.
I don't understand that little story in the beginning Ireally do not think it is necessary. Just talk about the class and you are really good with describing the dissection I think thats enough. Try to think of other quotation or take out those.
I remember looking at this essay before...so I'm going to make the same comments I did before.
I think you're like half answering the question. The only part of the question you answer is your favorite class. You add a lot of description but you never explain why it's your favorite class. You still have time to edit =)
Please look at my UChicago essay!!! =)
Good Luck!
It seems like in the first paragraph answers the prompt more than the second and their because you talk it why the class appeals to you
Your essay has strong potential by expanding more on why the class appeals to you. The second and third paragraph feel like they were listing concept not really showing why you like it
I hope my advice helps.
Can you give my Columbia supplement a read. Just read at least one of the essay and criticize it
I'm trying to be honest, but the second paragraph just sounds like a story about your teacher and doesn't contribute at all.
But the third paragraph is better than before
Yup, it's better now when you say stories in beginning if the 2nd paragraph
This is a good essay. Keep in mind my edits above. One thing I'd recommend though is try to relate your second paragraph a little more to yourself. I agree with others, even though you changed it a little bit, it takes up too much space and doesn't relate to what your favourite class is (biology?) I'd write more about yourself instead of that you learned what a commuted fracture is (this doesn't explain why it's your favourite class). Revise it a little, maybe you can write that after the story, you were intrigued to learn more about fractures, bones, etc, which are all related to the human body (Biology, Anatomy, etc). You also have to state what your favourite class is. It's kind of hinting anatomy, biology, but what exactly is it? You must let the reader know you're answering the prompt! Otherwise, this is good. Revise it and let me know. I'll edit it again. Good luck!
Please check out mine! :)
