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Better to be self-employed, work for someone else, or own a business? TOEFL


FatimaTOEFL 2 / 4  
Jun 5, 2011   #1
TOPIC : Some people prefer to work for themselves or own a business. Others prefer to work for an employer. Would you rather be self-employed, work for someone else, or own a business? Use specific reasons and examples to support your choice.

ANSWER : In my opinion, I would prefer to work for someone and later on, start my own business.
In my opinion, I would prefer to work for someone and later on, start my own business.

Everyone has his or her dreams and aspirations of being successful in todays world, and everyone choses their path in which they decide to achieve this success. This can be attained by being self employed or working for someone.

In my experience, the starting point in achieving success is to learn the tricks of the trade. Where else can you learn this if not from the experts themselves. For example a person seeking to have career in fashion maybe create a fashion line, should first of all learn what it entails to start and run a fashion line, how the fashion industry works, what is the mode or style of the moment etc. Such a person can either intern or work in a company involved in fashion such as styling agency for example. After gaining knowledge and experience, this person is most likely going to be ready to start his or her business in fashion.

Another example to be taken into consideration is before a person decides to set up a business, he needs capital i.e. money to set up this business. He or she has a choice of taking a loan from a bank but they have to consider for a fact that setting a business without any experience can be very risky. I think its better for one to work for someone, earn money and endeavor to save towards starting the business.

The path to success is not an easy one and can be achieved by starting from the bottom.
Most successful self employed people today have once been at the very bottom the ladder of success and are the ones who strived hard to be at the top.
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
Jun 5, 2011   #2
In my experience, the starting point in achieving success is to learn the tricks of the trade. ---- A very good start.

Such a person can either intern or work in a company involved in fashion likesuch as a styling agency for example.

The roadpath to success is not an easy one and is definetly tocan be achieved by starting from the bottom.
Most successful self employed people today have once been at the very bottom ofdown the ladder of success and are the ones who strived hard to be at the top.

I have given you some suggestions thinking they would help improve your essay. But you write so well. If you are going to take up TOEFL, I believe this essay is too short. You need to have more than 250 words, if I'm not mistaken. Pay attention to that and go for a flying score. GOOD LUCK!
winniesun 9 / 19  
Jun 5, 2011   #3
everyone choses their path in which
Where else can you learn this if not from the experts themselves.

you have to avoid careless mistakes.
badjeje 3 / 12  
Jun 6, 2011   #4
I think this is better..

Everyone has their own dreams and aspirations
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Jun 7, 2011   #5
Usually, if you use IN MY OPINION, you should make a general statement afterwards:
In my opinion, it is better to work for someone and, later on, start my own business.

or

In my opinion, the best kind of berry is a strawberry.

See what I mean? Do not say, "In my opinion, I prefer..."

This requires an apostrophe: today's world

Use a hyphen: self-employed

The path to success is not an easy one, and it always begins at the bottom.

:-)


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