I guess you are preparing for IELTS or TOEFL. It's better that you mention the purpose of your writing so that you get more relevant comments. Also, you should post this type of essays under "Writing Feedback" forum.
Some people think that children should have same job as their parent Whilewhile others people think conversely.
The both groups have their reasons. It is wise that children select jobs that are different from parents job in the most cases.
.... connect these two lines. That helps improve presentation of your idea;
Although both groups have their own reasons, I believe that it wiser to have children doing different jobs than their parents.mainly, everyone has his own nature.
.... even during your practice sessions, make sure you start sentences with capital letters. Otherwise you might make the same mistake at the exam too.
In narrow condition, the nature of a child is not same with his parent.
narrow condition? It sounds confusing :(
In many instances, the child's interests and talents are very different to those of his parents.