Hi thuty .. i have several suggestion here.. i hope this can help you to improve your writing.
All children should study a foreign language in school, starting in the earliest grades.Could you give a clear task here, agree or disagree / discuss/ others
Language is one of the communication tools in all country in the world. Several people believe that student must study different languages in primary school because this the best time for put knowledge for them. However, others think that children in primary school need to explore their wish like because this age golden for them. Therefore, I personally argue that the best way to children for learning second language when they in earliest grades.Language is a widely value of communication. For this reason, some people assume that students must study numerous languages in primary school due to golden age of children. While, others believe that youngster should obtain the best treatment as their ways to get better life, I personally argue that the best way to children getting enormous language education is in the earliest grades.
I suggest you to make simple and clear your introduction, and then your body paragraph will be better.Cheers!