Hi, you have asked for rating your essay, so I may give it a 5.5-6.5, depending on the grader. This is because the structure of your essay is very clear, which is a good sign because IELTS essay need to be short and simple. However, in my opinion, there is one phrase is irrelevant
Furthermore, some people claim that the value and respect for elders declined and now people are depending on self-help philosophies.
why are you mentioning respect for elders, respect and dependence are two distinct concepts.
One more thing I want to say is be careful with tense :)
humans will never gave up seeking for others advice.
I recommend to write: "humans would never give up seeking for others advice