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Is TV bad for Children? - it's my first essay (3 paragraphs)


answers: 7
Dec 20, 2007, 02:40am   #
Is TV bad for Children?

We reveal in the idea that we are living in a world of science and science can work wonders for us. It is true that science has revolutionized modern life. TV is a wonder, and what TV contributes to society would have appeared to be a fairy tale for our forefathers. Since we had television, there are several advantages of TV watching that has exposed things to us including weather forecast, events like sports, and any other information on the globe. Despite of this optimistic, some researchers said that TV was bad for children. Therefore, there are negative and positive impacts of TV watching on children.

TV watching gives bad effects on children's health and education and behavior. First of all, three or four hours of watching TV increase children chances of developing mind to experience abnormal level of uncertainty. In fact, three and five percent of children in the US were diagnosed with attention "deficit disorders", and this unnatural level leads to laziness, restless, and impulsiveness according to a researcher. For instance, children who are affected by unrealistic events in TV are difficult to handle slower pace of school and homework. In addition, watching excess television causes visualization to become flattered. No doubt about loss concentration- eyes contact brain and send information to the brain; when eyes were weak, how about their films or pictures? Secondly, TV watching gives impacts on children's education and behavior. Children who watch TV excessively perform poorly in academic learning. For instance, according to a researcher, children in 4th grade, who had TV in their bed rooms, scored lower than children who didn't have TV. Consequently, poor study was blamed of leading to the increasing rate of aggressive behavior in kids' society. In other words, violence, sexual images, and profanity in TV ask for imitation because violence is often produced and promoted as a fun and effective way to children. In fact, during their childhoods, children gain knowledge by common rule; monkey sees monkey do. When children see television characters getting what they want by beating, children are more likely to imitate when they are put in a similar situation. For in stance, an animation show called "Tom and Jerry", Tom tries his best to catch and eat Jerry with any feasible means. For another example, children, when watching TV, are more likely to absorb images that can leave them shocked and susceptible. Children are good at catching images like scary-looking things, monster pictures, or real shows. Due to their ages, they cannot manage what bad or good pictures are; in place of appropriate pictures, they memorized bad things themselves, and this lead to frightening illness like darkness illness. Besides, for children age 4 and elder, watching TV can be the cause of obesity, fatness. In fact, When watching TV, most of people are about to be motionless and snack. There are a lot of commercial unhealthy foods, which are the causes of obesity such as crisp chip, friend fried, and calories-soft drink, which become favorite food for all ages. Fatness is the most concerned issues of American families today. However, along with these disadvantages, there are some positive impacts of watching TV on children. Some researchers said that TV watching appears to help 3-to-5-years-olds to learn basic reading but not the reading for understanding. During the age of two or three, critical period for brain development, TV appeared to help young children to improve their skills they ought to grow cognitively, socially, physically, and emotionally. In deed, TV watching with time limits required by American Academy Pediatrics can help them to exercise brain muscles, improve basic alphabets, and learn kids programs such as PBS KIDS, Disney Channel, Cartoon Network, and so on. Furthermore, useful programs in TV suggested by AAP help not only children for entertainment, but also their parents to learn good information about how to take care of their children healthily. Thus, there is no uncertainty that TV is playing important roles as an educator and entertainer.

Ultimately, TV is bad for children in the way of excessiveness of watching it, and TV leads children to unhealthiness such as mental illness, flattered visualization, and impulsiveness and so on. In addition, TV is a gathering point of commercial programs that often produce and promote risky activities to cause children to aggressive behavior and obesity. In my point of view, children's parents should be main directors to help children to better. They are close to children than other people; I believe that those of them can choose what, when, and where the children can do.


Reference:
BBC News, Dr Dimitri Christakis



Please give me some grades, any posstive or negative is preferable. I would like to get true feedback.
Greetings!

I'm happy to help with some feedback! Your essay makes some good points. Most of your problems have to do with grammar:

We reveal in the idea that we are living in a world of science and science can work wonders for us. - I think you meant "revel" rather than "reveal."

Since the invention of television, there are several advantages of TV watching that has exposed things to us including weather forecast, events like sports, and any other information on the globe. Despite this optimism, some researchers have said that TV was bad for children.

three or four hours of watching TV increase children chances of developing mind to experience abnormal level of uncertainty. - this sentence does not really make sense.

watching excess television causes visualization to become flattered. - "flattered" does not make sense here; not sure what you were saying.

Consequently, poor study was blamed with leading to

they memorized bad things themselves, and this lead to frightening illness like darkness illness. - I'm afraid this really does not make sense either. Instead of "memorized" I think you must mean "remember." What is "darkness illness"?

In fact, when watching TV, most people are motionless and tend to snack.

These are not the only grammatical errors I found, but there is a limit to how much editing we can offer on this free site. My suggestion would be that, if possible, you read your essay out loud to a friend who is a native English speaker; he or she can help you with places where the grammar or vocabulary needs attention.

It's a challenge writing in a foreign language. Keep working hard and you'll get there! :-)

Good luck in your studies!

Thanks,

Sarah, EssayForum.com
Dec 23, 2007, 07:45pm   #
Thank you very much for your editing!
I feel--worried about my writing. I am --not a native english speakers.
Could you give me recommendation to improve my style of writing to better?
what books better for me?
I read english books, poem, and other magazine, but i cannot catch any idear;sometime, I have to learn by heart. Pls help me!

Now, I am an ESL student, but next quater, i have to study ENGL 101--I afraid I cannot write ENglish well.

anyway, thank you again!
Greetings!

You're welcome! My suggestion would be that you do some internet searches to find sites that offer free English lessons. I have used those types of sites to study Portuguese and French and found them very helpful. Use search terms like "learn English free" or "free English lessons" and I bet you'll get lots of hits. The important thing is to stick with it; learn a few new things every day, and it will build on itself, little by little. It's really just a matter of time--keep working and you'll be successful! :-)

Thanks,

Sarah, EssayForum.com
Jan 7, 2008, 07:35pm   #
This reminds me of a story in a movie I once watched. I only wish I could remember the movie. The scene was in an apartment building in a large city like NY. One person was telling the other person they used to see this old man in the next building over sitting on his couch. The old man would just sit there with a blank look on his face for hours, day after day. The voyeur watched him for years just amazed at how brain dead he looked and pitied the poor guy's existence. Then one day, the old man got up off the couch and pulled the dusty curtain back. The watcher had never seen the curtain moved before. It had always been half way closed across the window. Upon pulling the curtain back, there was a t.v.



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