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Essay about Aspects of city living - feedback


answers: 2
Nov 9, 2009, 11:49pm   #1
hello every one ...

how are you ?

I hope you all feeling good = )

I'm confuse about my english essay because it's the last draft for me and our teacher want it to be perfect perfect perfect ! ...

I have too much errors with grammer and sentence orgnization

please help me


this is my essay


Nowadays everybody is moving to live on the cities because of the facilities that they find it there. Many people prefer living on cities because of the opportunities of jobs, market places, big houses and buildings including schools and hospitals. But as the population in the city increased the consumption of cars, factories, raw materials and other are increased too. All this contributes to the pollution of the city and increase the size of the problems faced by individuals. Our problems in the city contribute to the destruction of the city and the spread of corruption .Also, these problems are creating an atmosphere of discomfort and the inability of the individual to adapt and live in peace in his home town. Despite an increase in the size of the problems, but there are many solutions that can be used and applied to contribute to reducing the number of problems such as increasing the number of police members , provide employment opportunities and spreading awareness among members of the society through seminars and lectures .

There is several problems contributing to make life difficult in the city and affect the lifestyle of the population. Firstly, one of the most serious problems we face today in our societies and our cities is the spread of crimes and thefts. The number of crimes is increasing because of lack of awareness, poverty and the lack of requirements of life . Furthermore, the second problem that we find it on the cities is that locals are suffering from lack of provide employment opportunities and adequate for the number and size of the population. Lacks of jobs opportunities can affects the way of population life and also affect children and adults because they want to live as others live. Secondly, the second most important problems in the city are the transport crisis and traffic accidents. The increase in population leads to increase the number of means of transport in city roads, which affects the health of individuals. Transportation traffic and population lead to the deterioration of roads, streets and sidewalks because of using these methods from many different transportation and population. Third, there is no opportunity of jobs for groups of people and they suffer from this problem because it threatening their live. On the other hand some people suffer from working for a long hours and loose there power on the job and working. In addition to the salaries paid to the workers, despite the long hours they work. Poverty also can be one of the main results of the unemployment people.

Although we face large numbers of problems we have several solutions that help us to control the problems. Start with the first solution is to increase the number of police and their deployment in different places of the city and make adequate efforts by the authorities to reduce crime and the spread of anarchy. Thus, provide protection and security for the peoples to live peacefully in their city so as to bring stability. The task of security forces is to provide comfort and stability for all members of society and contribute to the reduction of the rampant crimes cannot be achieved only by strengthening ties between the police and the population .Another result of increasing the numbers of police is lack of fear among parents to their children because of the presence of individuals guarantee their protection has always. Therefore the security men in the same town can cooperate with each other and benefit from each other's experience and expertise of others to adopt modern methods to arrest the culprits and deal with them. Furthermore, the second solution to control city problem is provide employment opportunities for all so that they can provide a decent life for their children. For example, giving peoples the value of small grants to carry out their own projects and create a working environment for them and take advantage of the money the victim of the project. Meanwhile this idea helps increase the income of the country's economy and provide a source of steady income of the person. Also it will provide an opportunity for people to depend on him and make money from his best without resorting to criminal acts or acts of immoral to make money and distribute of the community. Lastly, spreading awareness among people through seminars and courses appeals to fathers and mothers need to take care of their sons and urged them to be productive and important elements in the society. Anyway guide them to develop a plan suited to their lifestyle and daily planning of the agenda and how to spend monthly salary does not even reach the level of poverty. In addition to the role of schools in educating children how to apply traffic rules and teach them how important it is to maintain the integrity of the student from exposure to any incident or damage. We can depend also on teacher role, which can be placed instead the mother or father place in the school to inculcate moral values and teaching student's self-reliance and away from delinquency and crime through.

This essay is about the city problems and some solution that helps the people to decrease the number of this problem. I start the essay divining the problems and how the city problems can affect the society. Then I moved to mention some of the city problem starting with increasing the number of crime and uncomfortable and feeling for the people, also the traffic problem that disrupt the work of the person and make him be late of his work and the last problem is the unemployment people and the poverty that most of the countries suffer from it today. On the other hand we moved then to explain some solutions that can help us to control those problems. Firstly, increasing the number of the police and trained to perform their job honestly and faithfully. Secondly, providing job opportunities and help the people to depend on them. Finally, teach the students on the school how to be an active and useful members on the society and also guide the parents to affecting their children and instilling in them love of the home, land and country.





PLZ help me >>>> please
Nov 10, 2009, 05:06pm   #2
hi,
your thesis para is very well written. Its also has some mistakes. Make use of comma so as to break down the sentences.
The task of security forces is to provide comfort and stabilityto all members in the society, and contribute to the reduction of the rampant crimes.This cannot be achieved by strengthening ties between the police and the population .
Also make use of transition words to get more link between your ideas.
conclusion para must include summary . And never start a conclusion with such sentences.
Nowadays, everybody is moving to live in the cities because of the facilities that they find it there.

But as the population in the city increases the consumption of cars, factories, raw materials and other are increased too.

Very good! I Tried to learn Spanish, but I could never write as well as this...

Although we face large numbers of problems, we have several solutions that help us to control the problems. Start withThe first solution is to increase the number of police and their deployment in different places of the city and make adequate efforts by the authorities to reduce crime and the spread of anarchy.in Spanish as you write in English!

Or you can write:
Start with the first solution, we can increase the number ...



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