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Is Spanking the Right Way to Discipline
There have been many discussions on spanking. On one side of the debate are the parents who believe it ok to spank their children. On the other side are those who think that children should never be spanked. Part of the problem with spanking is that each group defines spanking differently. Some believe spanking is a form of abuse, while others think it is a form of discipline.
Spanking can in effect be a form of abuse. Children should only be spanked with your hand, belt, paddle, or similar item. Opponents of spanking state that spanking is done out of anger and that the kids never learn a lesson from spanking. Opponents argue "that spanking sends the message to kids that it is ok for a person to strike a smaller person" (Andero and Stewart). There is some truth to this message. When a parent spanks their child out of anger or frustration then it does send the wrong message to the child.
When a parent makes the decision to spank a child, it should be done out of love. The goal is not to cause pain, but to teach the child a lesson. Spanking should not be the first option. If a child goes into the street, the dangers should be explained to the child. If the child goes into the street again, the he or she should receive a spanking. This will teach the child to listen to you and he will not go into the street again. A spanking should only be a few strikes on the buttocks. It should never be only any other part of the body. With the exception of one light tap on the hand. This teaches a child not to touch an item, such as the stove.
There is also the discussion at what age should paddling began. This really depends on the child, parents, and the level of discipline needed. No child under the age of two should receive a spanking. Children at this age do not have the mental capacity to understand what is going on. As a child get older and they mature mentally, then a spanking is ok.
A spanking should also be a last resort. A parent should first explain to their child what he did wrong. The parent should warn his child, if he continues to do this then he will receive a spanking. When the child continues to ignore the warnings, the parent should prepare for the spanking. The parent should tell the child I am going to spank you, but I am going to wait a couple of minutes to give you time to think about what you did. This also gives the parent time to calm down, in case he or she is angry. After the parent has finished and while the child is still crying, the parent should take this child in his or her arms. The parent needs to let the child know that he still loves him. This instills in the child that even though I did wrong my parents still love me. Spanking a child while angry only defeats its purpose. If you are screaming and cussing your child, then this is not a spanking, it is abuse. The child will not learn from the spanking. He or she will only hate you.
If a parent is disciplined and methodical, spanking is not abuse or violence. In fact, spanking can eliminate child abuses, like screaming in their faces or calling them names, or worse....ignoring them and letting them run wild (Williams). Spanking a child not only teaches them to avoid danger, it also teaches them to obey your instruction and to not be defiant. There are a lot of kids in the world today who are out of control, because their parents never spanked or disciplined them in any way.
Parents have to realize that they will need to discipline their children for many years. A spanking needs to be part of that discipline. People must realize that as long as the child is spanked in the proper way, it is never child abuse. It is only discipline.