Please correct my essay before tomorrow!?
I really need this to be a good essay. It took me days to finish writing this essay and English is my second language so I'm sure there will be grammar mistakes. please fix it for me. by the way that's the true story. This essay needs to be perfect I tried so hardd
Culture Shock!
I remember when I first arrived to the United States, my family and I was sitting all together and staring at almost everything what they've got in the airport. For examples, many people were walking with their suitcases and different people were speaking different languages and some people were eating giant foods. I've named them giant foods because at that time, I didn't know what those foods were called. Everything is great and fabulous for me. I love U.S.A. and I'm was very excited knowing that I'm in the United States now. When I was in Thailand, I've only saw the airplanes sometimes and I would always waved the airplane whenever they were flying in the sky. I can't even imagined that I flied to the America with the huge airplane. I felt as it's just fantasy but reality keep woke me up. At that moment, everything seems just perfect and I felt like that I'm the luckiest person in this whole wide world!
The day after I arrived to the United States, I wanted to go outside and find out about my neighbourhood or how the America really is, so my dad and I went to take for a walk. I was horrify when I barely saw people were walking in our apartments. The apartment was very quite it seems like no one even lives here. When I was in Thailand there were people always walking on the streets. After few minutes, luckily I found the playground which was near by my house. I felt better seeing kids were playing, some adults were talking with each other and some were playing basketballs, but then suddenly I was shocked when I saw a black man was standing with his pants down. I thought he didn't know how his pants were felling down,so I was just wondering to go up to him and let him know about it but then, when I think attentively, it might be very ashame because I don't know the language, so I decided not to let him know. to be honest, I did feel bad for that, I truly am.
After few days living in this America, I just wanted to go back to Thailand. Thailand, a place that I used to live about 10 years since I was young or a place that people speak Burmese. At home almost everyone was very quiet and obviously being homesick. Misunderstanding the language is just so hard for us to survive in America or to communicate with others and also the unfamiliar foods that we never knew it exit or what inside in it. Plus, using the electricity for the first time was hard too. The weather is different too. Even if we got the mail from the post office. We have no idea what was saying on the letter. At that minute I started to think how the America was bad and didn't turn out good as we expected. I completely feel like I just don't belong here. I miss my grandparents and relatives and friends so much. Almost every night I wish and prayed to God to let me go back to Thailand as soon as possible, but deep inside I know that it's impossible. I have to admit that I've cried more than twice knowing that I have to live more days in America.
first day of school was very embarrassing and shockable. The fact that I have to change classes for each periods or have no idea how to get the school lunch.The two stories that stick with me the most was, when my first period English teacher told me several times to go to the next period when the first period bell rang, I thought she was saying something else, so I kept shaking my head and said No, so the classmates were started laughing out loud.To be honest, I felt so stupid in front of those students.The other one was, when I was in the school bus with the elementary kids! I was shock and amazed and was wondering about why I was the only 14 years old student between the elementary kids. That's when I know that something is wrong. Of course I was lost at the elementary school, I've remember tears were in my eyes and I'm about to cry. Thank God one lady saw me that I was the only person walking when the other students were in the classrooms, so she took me to the office and finally, they send me back to my school. I think that was pretty embarrassing. I've also remember how I was using the faculty restroom at my More Land Middle School. After I used the bathroom, some teachers took me outside and told me not to use this bathroom again! I was pretty scared and ashamed.
Fortunately, once we know how to speak English pretty well and understand about the American culture or once we made friends and know about the technology. America is just perfect! As much as we hate it at first, but now we totally in love with the America.I still want to go back to Thailand just for a visit, not to live there for the rest of my life because I know there are more steps that I need to step up for to reach my goal. Since neither my father nor my mother were not able to graduated from college, so had to work very laborious jobs. I know they will never want me to go through what they did. I'm very glad that how my family still celebrate our own culture celebration even though we are facing another totally different culture. The most important part was not forgetting our own language, which is Burmese. I know my English is not perfect, but being able to communicate with others in English was one of the greatest accomplishments for my life. I have to admit that the scary moments that we had before are just a joke for us now. Sometimes I would laugh out loud when I think about those embarrassing moments.
I remember when I first arrived to the United States, my family and I was were, not was because of past tense sitting all together and staring at almost everything what they've"we've" since you're including yourself into this as well. got in the airport. For examples,"example" not example many people were walking with their suitcases and different people were speaking different languages and some people were eating giant foods. I've named them giant foods because at that time, I didn't know what those foods were called. Hmm... well including their names now would probably give some imagery into the essay Everything iswas, not is. Or, you can say, "I thought, 'Everything is fabulous for me.'. great and fabulous for me. I love U.S.A. and I'm I, not I'm was very excited knowing that I'm in the United States now. When I was in Thailand, I've only saw the airplanes sometimes and I would always waved the airplane whenever they were flying in the sky. I can't "could'nt have even" instead of "can't" even imagined that I flied to the America with "in", not with the huge airplane. I felt as it's replace "as it's" with "like it was". just fantasy but reality keep take out "keep" woke me up. At that moment, everything seems just perfect and I felt like that I'm the luckiest person in this whole wide world! Maybe make the second to last sentence the last sentence. I.E, make "...but reality woke me up" last.
I'll come back and do the rest later, but for now here are some recurring mistakes: past/present tense and possession. :)
