Hello! I would immensely appreciate an evaluation over one of my GRE essays I typed up a few minutes ago (under the 30 minute guidelines). The prompt and essay is located before. I am hoping to achieve a 4.5 score for the graduate program I am applying for next month. I have not edited it or touched up anything--all errors are present.
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The following is a memorandum from the business manager of a television station.
"Over the past year, our late-night news program has devoted increased time to national news and less time to weather and local news. During this period, most of the complaints received from viewers were concerned with our station's coverage of weather and local news. In addition, local businesses that used to advertise during our late-night news program have canceled their advertising contracts with us. Therefore, in order to attract more viewers to our news programs and to avoid losing any further advertising revenues, we should expand our coverage of weather and local news on all our news programs."
Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.
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The argument within the memorandum presents a seemingly agreeable notion: the weather and local news has been problematic, causing not only complaints, but also contract cancellations that have financially impacted the television station. The business manager posits a simple solution: expand weather and local news coverage to bring in more viewers. Despite the straightforward nature of this text, the argument is based on weak premises that assumes too much while ignoring other pertinent variables. In order to dissect how the argument unfairly depends on these fallacies, the memorandum will be dissected by first, addressing the business manager's concern over veiwer complaints, second the cancellation of advertising contracts, and third, discussing the potential consequences of hastily expanding coverage.
The argument mentions in the second sentence that viewers have been upset over the coverage of weather and local news. The bsuiness manager does not explain in detail what exactly that means; for example, the viewers may be complaining about the individuals reporting the information, shifting the focus from the amount of coverage to what is being covered. A television news broadcaster or personality may be the problem--their lackluster demeanor may be causing complaints. The manager simply assumes these viewers are upset over coverage, when in fact other possible factors could be contributing to the worsening view of the television station.
The second faulty assumption is found in the third sentence. The memorandum mentions that local businesses have now cancelled contracts in what appears to be an unprecedented move (noting that these businesses have kept the contracts during their late-nights news program in the past). However, the manager ignores other reasons that could be affecting the cancellation. For instance, the local businesses may not be able to afford the contracts any longer--a plausible reason behind the advertising departure. Secondly, the local businesses may have found another television station that would be more relevant to their audience, hence the cancellations. The manager relies on the assumption that since these contracts were for their late-night news program, their must be causation between the cancellation and coverage of weather and local news. Expanding coverage should not be based on this weak link between two points that have not been sufficiently justified; the business manager ought to discuss with these local businesses exactly why they canceled their contracts with them.
The final sentence takes a giant leap forward without any substantation. The business manager states that expanding coverage of weather and local news will stop the fiscal bleeding within their advertising revenues. Yet, the manager does not state how; simply expanding coverage of weather and local news may not directly result in more viewers. For example, advertising revenues could be a result of high fees associated with advertising on their television station. Addressing this problem could bring in companies that could afford the lower costs.
While the business manager has noble intentions and seeks to stabalize the television station, the approach mentioned in the memorandum is not compelling. Perhaps the business manager should investigate and discuss, in detail, the specifics of the complaints or exactly why local businesses are running away. Doing so wil enhance the argument and provide more reason behind expanding coverage.
Hi, I'm way underqualified to critique the content of your GRE essay but I found a few grammatical errors.
second the cancellation of advertising contracts
has the problem of parallelism. It actually reads "the memorandum will be dissected by the cancellation of advertising contracts" when you remove the flesh.
Doing so will enhance the argument and provide more reasons forbehind expanding coverage.
