Unanswered [13] / Featured [4] / Urgent [0]
 

Home / Writing Feedback /     

IELTS Task 1 essay (the amount of money per week spend on fast foods in Britain)


answers: 2
The chart shows the amount of money per week spend on fast foods in Britain. Another graph shows the trends in consumption of fast foods.

My essay:

The graph shows the expense per week on junk food in Britain. Another chart illustrates the amount of fast food consumed between the 1970 and 1990 period.

It can be seen that people who earn high income spend around 40 pence per week for hamburger, followed by pizza and fish and chips, accounted for over 15 pence per week for both similarly. In contrast, those who earn low wage tend to spend over 15 pence per week for fish and chips followed by hamburger and pizza (approximately less that 15 pence and 10 pence per week).

The chart presents the consumption of hamburger in the period of 1970 to 1980 increased steadily and rose dramatically to over 500 gr in the next decade. On the other hand, the consumption of fish and chips accounted for 300 gr in 1970. Subsequently, it declined gradually in the mid of period to 200 gr roughly and climbed slightly to over 200 gr at the end of period. Meanwhile, pizza was the least consumed among all which constituted less that 100 gr in the mid period and the amount of consumption grew significantly between 1985 and 1990.

Overall, hamburger was the most consumed type of fast food among the group of people with high and average income.

Jun 15, 2010, 06:17am   #
anggra_88:
Meanwhile, pizza was the least consumed among all which constituted components and was less that ?(than)100 gr in the mid period and the amount of consumption grew significantly between 1985 and 1990.


anggra_88:
In contrast, those who earn low wage tend to spend over 15 pence per week for on fish and chips followed by hamburger and pizza


By the way , where do your topic come from? I am also preparing for IELTS, maybe I can find the graphs in my materials.
The graph shows the expense per week on junk food in Britain.
The graph shows the amount of money paid each week for junk food in Britain.

It is good to put these 2 sentences together as one for clarity:
On the other hand, the consumption of fish and chips accounted for 300 gr in 1970, and subsequently it declined gradually in the mid of period to 200 gr roughly and climbed slightly to over 200 gr at the end of period. --- I took out some commas, too.

:-) This is very good!!!



Home / Writing Feedback /

Thread closed ✓