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"Although my daughters are twins" - Contrast/Comparison Paragraphs


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Hi I am hoping someone out there knows contrast/comparison paragraph writing. I am writing a contrast paragraph on my twin daughters. I hope one of you can look it over and help with the right punctuations and add, change or delete certain parts. Must be 12 to 15 sentences long and contain 3 main points. I am doing this one in point by point method. Thankful for any help i can get.



Although my daughters are twins they do not look or act alike, they have plenty of differences My daughter Kymberly is in her first year of Premedia at Durham College, still lives at home and likes to hang out with alot of friends at once. She always has something going on. My daughter Jacqueline on the other hand has finished her schooling and works as a p.s.w. She lives on her own with her 2 year old daughter and ...
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Let's look at your first sentence: "Although my daughters are twins they do not look or act alike, they have plenty of differences My daughter Kymberly is in her first year of Premedia at Durham College, still lives at home and likes to hang out with alot of friends at once"
"Although my daughters are twins, they do not look or act alike."<=This one can be a sentence, just add comma,
=>you can use FANBOYS to connect 2 compound sentences or a semicolon. For example, "Although my daughters are twins, they do not look or act alike, and they have plenty of differences" OR "Although my daughters are twins, they do not look or act alike; they have plenty of differences( PICK THE WAY YOU LIKE)=>My daughter, Kymberly, is in her first year of Premedia at Durham College, still living at home and hanging out with alot of friends.
=> She always has something going on= She is an active person or she is an extrovert "something going on" is unclear
=>My second daughter, Jacqueline, on the other hand, finished her school and have been worked as a p.s.w
=>Although, she lives on her own with her two-year-old daughter and boyfriend, she enjoys just spending quiet relaxing evenings at home with her family and rarely goes out to parties (It is OK to keep your 2 sentences separately too, but if I were you, I would like this way)
=> However, Jacquie is the complete opposite; she is very shy and quiet, and you would never notice her attention.
=> Even though they are twins, their outlooks are different as well
=>Although they have many differences they still carry the same values, beliefs, and traditions.(I GUESS YOU WOULD TAKE THIS SENTENCE FOR ANOTHER PARAGRAPH)
Ok i do agree i like the way this sounds with these few changes. I noticed you did not comment on the 3rd point of looks though "Eventhough they are twins they also look different as well. Kym has always been the larger of the two, even at birth Jacquie was much more petite. They both have natural blonde hair but Kym likes her hair short and coloured brown, using little to no makeup at all whereas Jacquie likes her hair long and never wants to change the colour, never going anywhere without first putting on her makeup." I am sure this part needs work as it just does not sound quite right to me but somehow needs to be in the paragraph as there needs to be 3 points which are 1. lifestyles, 2. personallities, and 3. looks. As for "Although they have many differences they still carry the same values, beliefs, and traditions." we have to have a closing sentence to the paragraph that incorporates the topic sentence.
This is my revised version let me know what you think



Although my daughters are twins, they do not look or act alike; they have plenty of differences. My daughter Kymberly is in her first year of Pre media at Durham College, still living at home and she likes to hang out with alot of friends at once. She is a active person and always has something going on. My second daughter, Jacqueline, on the other hand, finished her schooling and works as a personal support worker. She lives on her own with her boyfriend and their two-year-old daughter. She enjoys just spending quiet relaxing evenings at home with her family and rarely goes out to parties. Kym has a very strong, assertive personality, no one pushes her around. However, Jacquie is the complete opposite; she is very shy and quiet, and you would never notice her attention. Even though they are twins they also look different as well. Kym has always been the larger of the two, even at birth Jacquie was much more petite. They both have natural blonde hair but Kym likes her hair short and coloured brown, using little to no makeup at all whereas Jacquie likes her hair long and never wants to change the colour, never going anywhere without first putting on her makeup. Although they have many differences they still carry the same values, beliefs, and traditions.
Pre media.. that seems wrong. You should check to make sure you do not need a hyphen or something.


only one hyphen here: their two year-old daughter.

This is a kind of run on sentence called a "comma splice":
Kym has a very strong, assertive personality, no one pushes her around.
---Need to start a new sentence after personality.

... never notice her attention???.

Even though they are twins they also look different as well. Kym has always been the larger of the two, even at birth Jacquie was much more petite. better never to mention it! :-)

This is a pretty good compare-contrast paragraph!



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