However the way it is used by the businesses is subjected to high criticism.
I suggest rewriting this sentence. It does not take a stance on the issue. Saying it is subject to criticism does not say what you actually think about it. If this was my essay, I would end the first para with a sentence that answers the question they asked: "The weaknesses of human mind are frequently exploited by such advertisers to influence people to purchase things they actually do not wish to buy."
Hey, I am impressed by Donrocks' critique. It is true: this essay does not say anything that is not obvious.
Your point about children is very good! I think you could take a stance on the issue in para #1, write about the impressionable young minds in para #2, and then write about the way even adults (not just children) can be impressionable. You can write about the need to get some relief from boredom, the desire for rewards, and even the fact that subliminal messages are used in advertising.
One rule to follow, though: Do not waste a single sentence telling the reader something they already know. :-)