Advertisement are only the good way of gaining information and one should not be fully depends on it

I just started to practice essay for my ielts exam and didn't know where to start so i found this below templates in internet, remember them and tried to write on the topic advertisement. So guys please give some suggestion on my essay and method of using templates on similar topic. Also give score if possible. Thank you.

Topic:
Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with?

One of the highly controversial issue today relates to whether the advertising gives helpful information or

distract people to purchase unnecessary product. In this essay i am going to examine thin question from both point

of view and then give my opinion on the matter.

On one side of the arguments there are people who argue the benefits of advertising considerable outweigh its

disadvantages. The main reason for believing this is that the advertising inform about new products, compare them

according to quality, size as well as cost of the products. It is also possible to say that it saves a lot of time

to choose between items that is necessary in such a busy lifestyle. One good illustration of this is people were

unaware of new products of Daber Limited Company until it's advertisement publish on newspaper and media.

On other hands it is also possible to make the opposing case. This is often argue that in fact advertisement force

us to buy the goods that may not be important for us. people often have this opinion because it makes us to

believe which is unreal or fake practically. It plays with our moral and emotional sense. One particularly good

example of this is advertisement made by some well-known celebrity makes people believes on the particular product

or people or eager to use those items used by celebrity.

In my opinion, both arguments have their merits. On balance, however, i tend to believe that advertisement are

only the fundamental way of gaining information and one should not be fully depends on it.

Templates
One of the highly controversial issues today relates to whether A or B [A + B =both sides of the argument]. .... In this essay, I am going to examine this question from both points of view and then give my own opinion on the matter.

On one side of the argument there are people who argue that the benefits of .... considerably outweigh its disadvantages. The main reason for believing this is that ... It is also possible to say that ....One good illustration of this is ....

On the other hand, it is also possible to make the opposing case. It is often argued that in fact ... People often have this opinion because .... A second point is that ...A particularly good example here is...

In my opinion, both arguments have their merits. On balance, however, I tend to believe that ...

In this essay i am going to examine thin question from both point of view and then give my opinion on the matter. --> avoid this question text

In this essay i am going to examine both the view and give my opinion on this matter

On one side of the arguments there are people who argue the benefits of advertising considerable outweigh its disadvantages. --> instead of argue replace think because already you used arguments

On one side of the arguments there are people who think that the advantages of advertisement outweigh its disadvantages.

Overall good attempt. still more improvement needed. All the best!.

thanks for the reply and suggestion.

don't stop to always practice here, you will get more suggestion to make your essay better

As you have pointed out, it is difficult to generalise about IELTS template. You'd better focus on the topic given. Then, construct you paragraph with coherence and cohesion in an essay.