Good morning :)
Here are my thoughts:
"Some people, say that living in the countryside is the best choice, because it
is better for your Avoid using the pronouns "you" and "your" in formal academic writing; try using "me," "I," or "one" instead.
heath. But Avoid using transitory/conjunctive words such as "but," "so," or "and" when beginning sentences.
from my point of view, I don't Avoid contractions in formal academic writing, as they are inappropriate.
agree with this statement, because living in the big city
is more advantageous than living in the countryside. I will show you (Remove comma)
the reasons why living in the big city
is better in the following paragraphs.
The fact that the countryside has fewer shops and services means that the people have fewer employment opportunities, and now with the crisis What crisis are you referring to?
this is very important unless, (Remove comma) you
are a millionaire. For those l
iving in big cities it
to connect the several services such as hospitals, filling stations, cinemas, the restaurants and department
stores because of better
communication and transport systems
. If the people living
countryside want to connect to
these services, they have to travel long distances, perhaps as much as 30Km,
and if you
have an emergency, this is a lot of time. Hospitals in the big cities are abreast of the times, have more new technologies and innovations, and are
just five minutes from your
Now, using my suggestions, look carefully through the last section of your essay and see where else you can improve the piece.