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Writing Feedback


Need advice on improving TOEFL, SAT, GRE and other academic essays?
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TOEFL: An effective leader tries to make others feel they are part of the decision-making process.

3 - Thank you very much! That's really help me a lot! I will do that next time.

Writing Feedbackjyong101 - Jul 18, 2014
jyong101
Jul 20, 2014
[IELTS TASK 2] Several languages die out in the world

6 - If you know, then why don't edit before submitting it? I find that this paragraph presents serious...

Writing FeedbacktiaDS - Jun 23, 2014
eddies
Jul 20, 2014
Technological improvement has always two sides, benefits and drawbacks

4 - Some vocabularies and sentences interrupt the flow. You need a concluding signal. This is strictly necessary, you...

Writing FeedbackSHanafi - Jul 17, 2014
eddies
Jul 20, 2014
IELTS ESSAY; companies and other organisations are requiring their employees to wear a uniform

2 - Hi, devaraj This is called shopping listing unfortunately, it indicates laziness. As far as I read the authentic text, they...

Writing Feedbackdevabe2005 - Jul 18, 2014
SHanafi
Jul 20, 2014
TOEFL - automobiles have changed our lives

3 - In my personal view automobiles are the ones that have brought have a new era of transportation. Yes......... I can...

Writing Feedbackshreyansh13 - Jun 27, 2014
dumi
Jul 20, 2014
[IELTS] The role of parents and school in teaching children

3 - Firstly, parents have major influence on children's behaviour, especially when they are 3-to 5-years-olds. very young. Children, by nature,...

Writing Feedbacktoanci - Jun 28, 2014
dumi
Jul 20, 2014
What is alternatives to reduce industrial pollution? replace harmful industries

2 - Pollution is a vital problem worldwide. Developing countries are becoming industrialized that leads to increase polluted more environmental pollution environment. In...

Writing Feedbackhk_apm789 - Jun 28, 2014
dumi
Jul 20, 2014
When I was 8 years old, I learnt how to play a guitar and sing popular songs

3 - When I was about eight years old, my parents gave me a guitar and paid a particular hired an instructor to...

Writing FeedbackRicardo - Jun 8, 2014
dumi
Jul 18, 2014
GRE-118: views we share vs views contradict our own and learning from it

2 - Why are you having three parts for the introduction. You should have had all these sentences in on para and...

Writing Feedbackbuonarroti - Jun 8, 2014
dumi
Jul 18, 2014
IELTS Education plays an important role in the socioeconomic status of a country

5 - Well........... you write very well. Good grammar, vocabulary , flow etc. However, I believe you need to pay a little more...

Writing Feedbacktink3r - Jun 24, 2014
dumi
Jul 18, 2014
(IELTS) Studying abroad is a trend among university students in Turkey

6 - It is always good to include your prompt in the post so that we can have a better understanding about what...

Writing Feedbackkbektas - Jun 24, 2014
dumi
Jul 18, 2014
IELTS: Abortion Should Be illegal? People should think of the consequences

3 - Recently, abortions increases have increased rapidly and becomes the issue has become a controversial topic. Some people suppose believe...

Writing Feedbackthanhmai - Jun 24, 2014
dumi
Jul 18, 2014
[IELTS] Why is happiness difficult to define? Important factors to happiness?

11 - Since the dawn of history, humans have aspired to happiness. be happy. This is very well written. Have you been able...

Writing FeedbackSalMon - Jun 25, 2014
dumi
Jul 18, 2014
(IELTS) a country benefits from more and more university students

5 - However, the public some people has doubt about the beneficial effect of college education and they believe these policies will drive...

Writing Feedbackpatdr - Jun 25, 2014
dumi
Jul 18, 2014
IELTS Essay Task 2: entertaining and educational functions of Museums

6 - This is good, but I like if you have been a bit more specific on the views in your...

Writing FeedbackMiaCuthbert - Jun 25, 2014
dumi
Jul 18, 2014
TOEFL: 11 month study period for a better, more efficient education

3 - You need to improve your approach for introduction. This introduction fails to introduce your prompt to the reader. The main...

Writing Feedbackkurosusu - Jun 25, 2014
dumi
Jul 18, 2014
TOEFL ESSAY - center for business vs agriculture (farming) research choice

2 - I agree with eddies ....... your intro needs improvement. I think you better introduce the prompt itself. In this case your...

Writing Feedbackilaha - Jun 26, 2014
dumi
Jul 18, 2014
IELTS: How British people spending their money on fast foods? Chart

4 - Three kind of fast food Consume: spend Some mistake in sentence you should repair

Writing Feedbackgns5958 - Jul 16, 2014
iamchop
Jul 17, 2014
IELTS: 'some sectors request many well-qualified people' - career choices for young generation

7 - Next five yeas ago: you should correct this mistake

Writing FeedbacktiaDS - Jun 30, 2014
iamchop
Jul 17, 2014
TEXT Messages - novelty for us

3 - Have you included the prompt on the top here in this essay? Is it " " ...................

Writing FeedbackLobocor - Jul 14, 2014
Pahan
Jul 17, 2014
IELTS: Advertising makes people buy products that they really do not need

7 - You have written this very clearly. However, it does not follow the most appropriate approach for the intro. In the...

Writing FeedbackMiaCuthbert - Jun 23, 2014
dumi
Jul 17, 2014
Person can only be happy if he has got a job which he enjoy

3 - It is always good to include the purpose of writing , e.g. IELTS, TOEFL etc., in your title for the others...

Writing Feedbackshreyansh13 - Jun 22, 2014
dumi
Jul 17, 2014
Making money or traveling before entering university is valuable for students

3 - At present, it is commonly often recommended that young people graduate from high school should to go out to work or...

Writing Feedbackkevin1983 - Jul 16, 2014
dumi
Jul 17, 2014
TOEFL essay: Country should not isolate themselves from the world?

2 - I will present my thoughts in the order of your essay's content. Don't be wordy (from my viewpoint, I strongly.... What...

Writing Feedbackthoomr - Jul 15, 2014
dchege711
Jul 16, 2014
GRE best way to understand the character of a society

1 - You're essay is very good and well written, just the excess of large words makes it hard to get your point...

Writing FeedbackYoullee - Jun 26, 2014
malsackey
Jul 16, 2014
IELTS; School teachers used to be the source of information

3 - Besides, teachers too can use such technological platforms to choose the proper information from different sources and effectively deliver their services...

Writing Feedbackdigitalidea - Jul 15, 2014
dumi
Jul 16, 2014
IELTS - Learning a foreign language at primary school

3 - Sure :) This my suggestion for your introduction; Literacy on foreign languages is a great advantage in the modern...

Writing Feedbackerocdrah - Jul 15, 2014
dumi
Jul 16, 2014
IELTS : negative effects of technological process ( agree or disagree )

8 - It is undeniable that technological process advancement has brought numerous benefits making human life become more and more comfortable and easy....

Writing Feedbackthanhphongct1 - Jun 13, 2014
dumi
Jul 16, 2014
I definitely agree - pressure of school and parental pressure should be reduced

2 - Don't write lengthy sentences to open your essay. Begin your essay with a more catchy, interesting and meaningful hook...

Writing Feedbackatmnbnnr - Jul 15, 2014
dumi
Jul 16, 2014
IELTS; working and travelling a year before university is a good idea

3 - This is not what your prompt is talking about. It focuses on how to use the gap year between high...

Writing Feedbackskyman - Jul 15, 2014
dumi
Jul 16, 2014
IELTS The environment problems facing today's world are so great that there is

2 - Nowadays, many countries are concerned with about the environment problems. There is a viewpoint that the government and big firms should...

Writing Feedbackdigitalidea - Jul 15, 2014
dumi
Jul 16, 2014
Kuya - my second family - He loves to call himself "pogi"

2 - I think I am very lucky to find friends here in college who treat each other as a real family always...

Writing FeedbackAal - Jun 11, 2014
dumi
Jul 16, 2014
The importance of utilizing advisement globally continues to increase each year

3 - This is not a good way to open your essay. You need to write a sentence that has the ability...

Writing Feedbackdondon26 - Jun 21, 2014
dumi
Jul 16, 2014
IELTS: do animals have the same rights as humans?

7 - It is nice if you close your introduction with your personal statement to make the thesis statement strong.

Writing FeedbackPrisarthur - Jun 14, 2014
eddies
Jul 16, 2014
IELTS: 'The apple never falls far from the tree' - Parents should teach children

9 - For this essay, I think one body paragraph is not enough to cover all the question from the prompt. Write two...

Writing Feedback19epuzam - Jun 14, 2014
eddies
Jul 16, 2014
Toefl : Begin learning a foreign language as soon as starting school

5 - This sentence is too long and contains much vague information when it comes to an opening paragraph. according to...

Writing Feedbackitspueng - Jun 14, 2014
eddies
Jul 16, 2014
Ielts: The gap between poor and rich countries has been large from longtime ago

6 - Write it in upper-case letter I feel this topic sentence is weak. It didn't cover the thesis statement. Please...

Writing Feedbackiamchop - Jun 13, 2014
eddies
Jul 16, 2014
IELTS Essay - Negative attitude of young people towards learning

4 - I say that you write very good. However, I see you miss one point. Here is: In this conclusion paragraph,...

Writing Feedbackmsarkar - Jun 27, 2014
eddies
Jul 15, 2014
IELTS Writing task 2 - Some people say that the Internet is making the world

4 - two main sentences run together. This is bad grammar. This also has the same issue. Run-on sentences.

Writing FeedbackSabi Thapaa - Jul 4, 2014
eddies
Jul 15, 2014
Parents should have much time for their children which are lonely sometimes

4 - It is sometimes hard to share writing feedback if you don't include a complete hook. Secondly, when you open a new...

Writing Feedbackanthonypasha - Jul 6, 2014
eddies
Jul 15, 2014
IELTS - GUN CONTROL & INCREASING VIOLENCE

12 - All in all, it is obvious that Obviously, there is a poor this proves that there is no valid relationship between...

Writing Feedbackicebeating - Jun 22, 2014
eddies
Jul 15, 2014
IELTS Essay - Well qualified graduates without employement

5 - Have a look at the prompt given: You are asked to examine the root causes of idleness by highly qualified...

Writing FeedbackAxed - Jun 13, 2014
eddies
Jul 15, 2014
IELTS ESSAY: Computers - What things will they be used for in the future?

8 - First of all, computers are helping ushelps people to save our time and it is also help us to maintain environment...

Writing Feedbackrockybir - Jun 11, 2014
eddies
Jul 15, 2014
Young people should spend time on traveling before beginning their studies

3 - Write with upper-case letters As a concluding signal, this phrase is not appropriate. Write: In conclusion,...

Writing Feedbackwinnietseng - Jul 3, 2014
eddies
Jul 15, 2014
[TOEFL essay] Internship prepare students better for their careers

5 - Also doing internship programmes in the university also helpS students have some soft skills, such as team working, colleague communication, negotiation,...

Writing Feedbackeragon26050 - Jul 8, 2014
eddies
Jul 15, 2014
IELTS Essay Task 2: 'Television / Children' Topic

9 - Televisions today are becoming more and more important in human's the daily life of people.However, while although watching TV can...

Writing FeedbackMiaCuthbert - Jun 22, 2014
dumi
Jul 15, 2014
IELTS writing task 1 - Reject a company offer - letter

2 - Begin your letter with a positive note although it is to inform something negative; I am very thankful to you...

Writing Feedback12thaugust2005 - Jul 6, 2014
dumi
Jul 15, 2014
[IELTS Task 2] Text messages or phone calls; I prefer talking on the phone

6 - In conclusion, communication with text messaging and phone calls has benefits as well as negative drawbacks.

Writing FeedbacktiaDS - Jul 7, 2014
erocdrah
Jul 15, 2014
Ielts: apology letter - 'evenings noise'

3 - I am writing to apologize for the noise that spoils disturbed your evenings and causes caused you some distress. inconvenience....

Writing Feedbackganggang - Jun 25, 2014
dumi
Jul 15, 2014
Video games are harmless fun. Disagree or Agree?

3 - I think the expression 'etc' is neither very appropriate in academic writings, nor be counted as a word, so this is...

Writing FeedbackMinhMinh - Jul 15, 2014
erocdrah
Jul 15, 2014
Today's charity - support made by wealthy nations must be voluntary

3 - Money flow to the poorest nations in African and Asian continents rises has risen magnificently during the last decade....

Writing FeedbackLazira - Jul 2, 2014
Pahan
Jul 15, 2014
PUBLIC LIBRARIES SHOULD NOT BE MAINTAINED

1 - In these this modern era, no one can deny the immense capabilities of technology. Some people believe that public libraries...

Writing Feedbackeirehc - Jul 15, 2014
Pahan
Jul 15, 2014
IELTS 2 Working hoursare toolong and people don't have time for family

6 - That's ok .......... We instruct everybody to follow the rules so that it makes our lives easy to manage the...

Writing FeedbackNatalia1988 - Jul 14, 2014
dumi
Jul 15, 2014
GRE Issue "The best way to understand the character of a society..."

1 - Hi! I think you should make your stand clearer on the introduction and most importantly in conclusion. Instead of fundamentally, you...

Writing FeedbackTila Tequila - Jul 13, 2014
eirehc
Jul 15, 2014
SAT : Is the world changing for the better ?

1 - I think you should try to arrange the thoughts on your paragraph. Try writing 1 thought per paragraph. The ideas on...

Writing Feedbackamanyeid - Jul 14, 2014
eirehc
Jul 15, 2014
Should parents be obliged to immunize their children against childhood diseases?

1 - Parents are responsible in g

Writing Feedbackmaryam5394 - Jul 14, 2014
eirehc
Jul 15, 2014
IELTS Task 1. Chocolate production sequences

4 - Where is the diagram? It is important to upload the diagram if you wish to earn more meaningful comments. Use the...

Writing FeedbackNatalia1988 - Jul 14, 2014
dumi
Jul 15, 2014
Toefl essay - We all work or will work in our jobs with many different people

2 - Well, I think you need to pay more attention to the approach. I guess this is for your TOEFL Independent task....

Writing Feedbackyashaswinisrini - Jul 9, 2014
dumi
Jul 15, 2014
Short Description on Myself

1 - My name is Nor Hazlyna Bt Harun.I am 41 years old. I was born on the 25th Feb 1973 at...

Writing FeedbackLuqman Nul Haki - Jul 13, 2014
dumi
Jul 15, 2014
IELTS Governments and people both should help lower traffic growth and pollution

5 - Arising from modernization, traffic congestion and environmental contamination have been become two controversial issues in many developing countries. The co-operation between...

Writing Feedbackxizon7777 - Jul 8, 2014
dumi
Jul 15, 2014
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