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Research advice on TOEFL, SAT, IELTS, GRE and other academic essays (page 6)

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The Benefits of Information Technology for Working Outshine Its Disadvantages

3 - I think your introduction need to rewrite. Please, pay attention to your question and make introduction which is striking point....

Writing FeedbackStacy Handayani - May 29, 2015
IqbalThemi
May 29, 2015
Staying or Moving? A viable solution to escape from boredoms and low productivity.

4 - [Link / Image / Video / Quote]

Writing FeedbackStacy Handayani - May 29, 2015
IqbalThemi
May 29, 2015
The greater number of the criminal cases which are perpetrated by young people below 18 year old

7 - Trias, your essay does not fully address the main question/ issue. When it comes to the real exam, the assessors are...

Writing FeedbackTrias - May 27, 2015
eddies
May 29, 2015
Age discrimination occurs when a decision is made on the basis of a person's age.

5 - Hi, @help4essay

Writing FeedbackHelp4essaY - May 28, 2015
thutyedaniel
May 29, 2015
Parents should describe healthy diet food and support their children to take exercises

4 - Hi Asep, Broadly speaking, what you write is good but I argue that you need to rewrite your introduction here....

Writing Feedbackaseprudi - May 27, 2015
IqbalThemi
May 29, 2015
Essay University of Les Roches Hotel management School, Characteristics of an efficient Manager.

4 - When deciding to become part of the Hospitality industry, it is essential to provide and explore new forms of resources and...

Writing Feedbacksylvia2626 - Apr 28, 2015
thutyedaniel
May 29, 2015
The high cost on keeping pets. It's a controveversial issue since some people are poor and starving.

6 - Hi Alex, I have some corrections and suggestions on your writing. Hope this helps you :) 1. are the...

Writing Feedbackalexanjou - May 26, 2015
Stacy Handayani
May 29, 2015
Not every child needs to learn about music, art and drama - these are sheer hobbies, not subjects

5 - Hello Jake Do, I have some corrections on your writing. Hope it helps :) Firstly, for some children, art...

Writing FeedbackJake Do - May 27, 2015
Stacy Handayani
May 29, 2015
Information about changes in the developement of the Stokeford village during 80 years (1930-2010)

3 - I just add some detail information without changing your idea here; however, I suggest you to divide...

Writing FeedbackIqbalThemi - May 28, 2015
Anfalia
May 29, 2015
Question: some people think that it is best for extended families to live together

3 - Although I was raised grown up in an extended family I know the advantages and disadvantages of extended family, where we...

Writing FeedbackIraj33 - May 28, 2015
siddiqumar
May 28, 2015
Two types of employees: long-serving employees and job-hoppers. Both have merits and demerits.

3 - Hiring good employees is important for what??? you have to explain the reason why this becomes important so that many employers...

Writing Feedbackkiwisuk - May 28, 2015
siddiqumar
May 28, 2015
Why do some students study abroad? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

3 - Hallo stevepham. I will give you some advice for your writing. 1. As far as I know, in academic...

Writing Feedbackstevepham707 - May 27, 2015
aseprudi
May 27, 2015
U.S. MAILING SERVICES HISTORIC COMPARISON

6 - hi asep, your analysis is good, i would suggest you to give comparison more.

Writing Feedbackaseprudi - May 25, 2015
alif
May 27, 2015
Material on the internet should be censored or controlled to protect the public.

4 - Thank you very much! You can't imagine how much you help me with your correction!

Writing Feedbackenzymhemmung - May 27, 2015
enzymhemmung
May 27, 2015
There are four main features of the wind turbine - Task 1

3 - thank you Mr. Eddie.. that's valuable suggestion for me :)

Writing FeedbackAdhisti - May 23, 2015
Adhisti
May 27, 2015
All high school students should be required to have three years of studying a foreign language.

3 - Hello Dear, can you correction all of my essay thanks

Writing FeedbackNaph - May 26, 2015
Naph
May 27, 2015
The table shows the number of students living in the UK gaining teacher training qualification

2 - This table is very difficult to see. However, I will do my best to help suggest some changes. I think...

Writing Feedbackthutyedaniel - May 27, 2015
lcturn87
May 27, 2015
Proportion between man and woman on getting teacher qualifications

3 - Hi,siddiqumar I found a consistent problem while reading. For each "male", "female", "man" and "woman" i was surprised because i...

Writing Feedbacksiddiqumar - May 27, 2015
romasalah
May 27, 2015
Enjoyable Job vs Good Salary - it's crutial that a work suit someone's passion

5 - Let's me try, Some people argue that it is more important to have an enjoyable job than to earn a...

Writing FeedbackTrias - May 26, 2015
IqbalThemi
May 27, 2015
Good relationships among employees can make a job enjoyable and even more attractive financially

4 - Dear siddi, please find my comments below: Nowadays, in the sophisticated society, comfortable comfort is a one of the main...

Writing Feedbacksiddiqumar - May 26, 2015
Far
May 27, 2015
The power of personal characteristics and its influence on our development

3 - Obviously, there is an assortment of traits that a human's child is born with; some personal factors that you need...

Writing FeedbackFar - May 27, 2015
siddiqumar
May 27, 2015
Sales proportion for four different retail products in New Zealand

3 - Hi, @trias

Writing FeedbackTrias - May 24, 2015
thutyedaniel
May 27, 2015
International tourist arrivals around parts of the world

4 - a few points; Para 1: If you have "whereas" as the linker, then you are not allowed to put a...

Writing FeedbackIqbalThemi - May 26, 2015
eddies
May 26, 2015
People are responsible for the path, the career they choose for themselves. Money vs fun in work.

4 - Hello - I would argue that those statements have an influence in people's live because people have... -For instance, many parents...

Writing Feedbackthutyedaniel - May 26, 2015
Naph
May 26, 2015
Contributions of scientists and engineers are more important than the contributions of artists.....

3 - Hello justivy03 , Thanks a lot for your correction, I re-write my essay bu I have some questions from you. I...

Writing FeedbackNaph - May 26, 2015
Naph
May 26, 2015
Analysis of suicides occurrence among people, especially youngsters between 17 and 30 years of age

4 - Hello dear A lot of people commit suicide for many different reasons, especially young people, 17 to 30 years old, some...

Writing FeedbackNormal kid - May 25, 2015
Naph
May 26, 2015
The status of Japanese citizens in total - population statistic

2 - Please look at the chart and table again. This will help you as you write your comparison and ensure you have...

Writing FeedbackTrias - May 26, 2015
lcturn87
May 26, 2015
Attractive and less popular destinations for people visiting different parts of the world

2 - - Moving to a more detailed analysis, the level of tourist in North America had always been the highest among the...

Writing FeedbackTrias - May 26, 2015
justivy03
May 26, 2015
Sport facility areas do not have much influences in public health.

3 - Hi, please find my feedback below However, It just have less effect on it only has little effect in public...

Writing FeedbackMuhammadImho - May 25, 2015
Trias
May 26, 2015
The World's Population Rise is The Greatest Humanity Problem

3 - Peace be with you Hetti, Let me give you some suggestion about your writing. In this day and age,...

Writing FeedbackTrias - May 25, 2015
AinunAlfatih
May 26, 2015
The graph below shows population figures for India and China since the year 2000

3 - A few points; Para 1: - Sentence 1: information concerning (DELETE) change into "...a breakdown of..." Write the population growth without...

Writing Feedbackthutyedaniel - May 25, 2015
eddies
May 26, 2015
Tourism in Nepal - number of foreigners visiting this country

4 - Hi aseprudi, let me try to give you some suggetion. actually your writing is really good, but if you want...

Writing Feedbackaseprudi - May 7, 2015
siddiqumar
May 26, 2015
Problems Associated with The Use of Mobile Phones

3 - A few points; Para 1: - Sentence 1; by the people (DELETE). - Sentence 2; it seems that you have...

Writing FeedbackTrias - May 25, 2015
eddies
May 26, 2015
Fast food taxation as the method to reduce obesity among people.

5 - I would argue that governments play an important role to impose a higher tax on this kind of food, and people...

Writing Feedbacksiddiqumar - May 25, 2015
MayaAngelou
May 25, 2015
Responsibility for helping poorer nations should also cover education of their society

4 - Hallo Farrasyad, Allow me to give some suggestion for you. Overall, your essay is quite good. However, I have a little...

Writing Feedbackfaarasyad - May 24, 2015
aseprudi
May 25, 2015
Southland's Main Exports Between 2000 and 2015 and Its Prediction in 2025

5 - A few points below; Para 1: - Sentence 1; Write the table shows "a breakdown of..." This lexical choice is by...

Writing FeedbackStacy Handayani - May 25, 2015
eddies
May 25, 2015
The Village of Stokeford in 1930 and 2010

2 - Hallo Trias, Overall, your essay is very good. However, I would like to give you some advice. For grouping, I...

Writing FeedbackTrias - May 25, 2015
aseprudi
May 25, 2015
IELTS Task 1 - Changes in levels of exports in Southland in 2000, 2015, and prediction of 2025

4 - Hi, Hettymsk! I really enjoy reading your analysis in this essay. However, you should take account into splitting a too long...

Writing FeedbackHettymsk - May 24, 2015
Trias
May 25, 2015
The number of women who gave birth to children between 1981 to 2006

5 - Hi, Hettymsk! Overall, this is one good essay from you. However, you slip on the subject-verb agreement sometimes: Furthermore, women...

Writing FeedbackHettymsk - May 24, 2015
Trias
May 25, 2015
Changes in the levels of rentals and sales of films in a particular store

3 - Hi Hettymsk, if you wish to generate a complex sentence, you should use proper linking words to make the sentence efficient...

Writing FeedbackHettymsk - May 24, 2015
Trias
May 25, 2015
Eating too much fast food is a bad habit that need to be stopped

2 - In this day and age, the number of people who have tendency to have practical meals while working or during at...

Writing FeedbackHettymsk - May 24, 2015
confusee123
May 25, 2015
The diagrams demonstrate the design of turbine and ideal areas to produce electricity

3 - Hi @alif! 1) 2)

Writing Feedbackalif - May 23, 2015
Hettymsk
May 24, 2015
Some people consider their pets as part of their families and treat them like their own babies

4 - Hi @phyuphyu!

Writing FeedbackPhyuPhyu - May 14, 2015
Hettymsk
May 24, 2015
Learning how to be a good member in society through the (obligatory?) community service program

6 - Hi @MuhammadImho! I would like to give you some suggestions: 1) Some people believe that it should be to...

Writing FeedbackMuhammadImho - May 20, 2015
Hettymsk
May 24, 2015
The optimum location for wind turbine is in high land as the wind strengths are maximum

6 - Hello @Stacy handayani! I am going to give you some suggestions: 1) 2) To build a wind...

Writing FeedbackStacy Handayani - May 7, 2015
Hettymsk
May 24, 2015
The annual number of rentals and sales (in various formats) of films

4 - Hi @thutyedaniel! I hope it will be useful to you^^ Keep writing

Writing Feedbackthutyedaniel - May 19, 2015
Hettymsk
May 24, 2015
The percentage of number of children in Australia, whose mothers were between 40 and 44 years old

2 - - However, 1981 saw the lowest rate of children who wasare born byfrom a woman aged 40-44 with the rate at...

Writing FeedbackTrias - May 23, 2015
justivy03
May 24, 2015
Southland's Main Exports in 2000 and 2015, and Projections for 2025 - IELTS

2 - - Moving to a more detailed analysis, meat products reached its highest level at almost 10 billionin 2000 and then there...

Writing FeedbackTrias - May 23, 2015
justivy03
May 24, 2015
Using Technology to Monitor People what they do

2 - - In the present eradays ( "era" is a very outdated form of writing when referring to age and this is...

Writing FeedbackTrias - May 24, 2015
justivy03
May 24, 2015
People Who Refuse to Pay Tax to The State

2 - - In general, people tend to be extremely critical when it comes to their financialfinances. - I narrow bunch...

Writing FeedbackTrias - May 24, 2015
justivy03
May 24, 2015
Does modern lifestyle make parents abandon their children?

2 - When I was child, both my parents were working, and I was left to babysitter. Yet since we lived in countryside,...

Writing FeedbackHettymsk - May 24, 2015
Trias
May 24, 2015
People in Five Different Occupations Sleeping Patterns according to a Canadian study

2 - Trias this is yet another great article, you leaned on the facts and figures and you brought analytical finding just as...

Writing FeedbackTrias - May 24, 2015
justivy03
May 24, 2015
IELTS Writing Task 2 - Is it fair to use animal for human well-being?

3 - Based on some people's opinion it is what animals are created for Some people hold the opinion that it is what...

Writing FeedbackHettymsk - May 23, 2015
Trias
May 24, 2015
Task 1: The bar chart compares the number of film rentals and sales

2 - It stood at solely 500,000 copies in 2002. Then, after peaking at roughly 215,000 copies in 2007, the figure of...

Writing FeedbackAdhisti - May 23, 2015
Trias
May 24, 2015
A Higher Tax on Fast Food and what would be the impact on people's health

2 - - FirstlyFirst, the tax for fast food is paid by the customers. - For example people in Indonesia originally have...

Writing FeedbackTrias - May 24, 2015
justivy03
May 24, 2015
IELTS Task 1 : Level of education of Bulgarians planning to leave Bulgaria

3 - - The chart illustrates the percentage of education level in BulgariansBulgaria for Bulgarians who want to live in newanother country in...

Writing Feedbackalif - May 23, 2015
justivy03
May 24, 2015
IELTS Writing Task 2 Simulation: Parents Spend Little Time with Children Nowadays

4 - Helloo Trias..., a few points below; Para 1: In the previous posting, I have shown you how to write an introductory...

Writing FeedbackTrias - May 21, 2015
eddies
May 23, 2015
International and or local films - what people prefer to watch?

5 - Thank you all for your suggestions and time. I will try to correct and improve the essay.

Writing Feedbackthanh1985 - May 23, 2015
thanh1985
May 23, 2015
We should pay attention to the opinions of famous people.

5 - Hello @Naph! I am going to give you some suggestion: !) If you are about to write TOEFL/IELTS essay,...

Writing FeedbackNaph - May 22, 2015
Hettymsk
May 23, 2015
The picture reveals a turbine for generating electricity from wind and its best location

2 - Hello asep

Writing Feedbackaseprudi - May 23, 2015
Adhisti
May 23, 2015
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