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Writing Feedback


Need advice on improving TOEFL, SAT, GRE and other academic essays?
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Compare and contrast- 2 war artist images. How do they reflect and convey the impact of WAR?

1 - In the prompt, I see 4 things the paper has to include. Compare, contrast, how do they reflect the...

Writing FeedbackJakeCarter - Oct 21, 2014
EF_Kevin
Oct 23, 2014
Our country had numerous wars and conflicts in the past. I have learned a lot from war's movies.

1 - I'm going to be a bit harsh, but you need better hook in your first paragraph. Your second sentence,...

Writing FeedbackVns9x - Oct 23, 2014
eugene_611925
Oct 23, 2014
It is believed by many that women should decide whether to have an offspring or not

3 - Thanks for the suggestion.

Writing Feedbackimon - Oct 22, 2014
imon
Oct 23, 2014
Celebrities vs real problems

1 - Hello :) allow me to correct your writing (introduction) I think it still happening until now, so...

Writing FeedbackVns9x - Oct 23, 2014
maritsanur
Oct 23, 2014
IELTS TASK 1: American Spending Patterns between 1966 and 1996

1 - you do not have to write conclusion in this type of essay. Unless, if you do not meet the requirement of...

Writing Feedbackmaritsanur - Oct 23, 2014
Vns9x
Oct 23, 2014
Title: there are many children in a family in the past. Which advantages or disadvantages outweigh.

2 - Hello... Allow me to rewrite; It seems a family with more children gain more benefits; however, I strongly believe...

Writing Feedbackanthonynguyen - Oct 22, 2014
Anfalia
Oct 22, 2014
In the professional work life there is just one factor that motivates people - money

5 - you have three verbs but only one conjunction.

Writing Feedbackgbekil - Oct 21, 2014
Anfalia
Oct 22, 2014
Study without teacher? You should choose the right way which suits your learning.

2 - hello... ; the first letter should be capital. overall, you should separate...

Writing FeedbackKristy Nguyen - Oct 22, 2014
Anfalia
Oct 22, 2014
IELTS task 1: Line graphs of car theft in 4 different countries

1 - Hello) Woah, your writing is great! You have followed proper structure! Just one question: "A four-country" -...

Writing FeedbackSHanafi - Sep 23, 2014
Abdurasul
Oct 22, 2014
Writing Task 1- process of chocolate-making and the percentage of allocation the cost

1 - hello sister.. :) received i think it doubled verb without conjunction. if I'm not mistaken you...

Writing FeedbackMann_ms - Oct 22, 2014
Anfalia
Oct 22, 2014
Social networks (Facebook) are harmful: agree vs disagree.

9 - Thank you for your response) Surely, "it is certainly true that" can be replaced with "there is no denying that"...

Writing FeedbackAbdurasul - Oct 21, 2014
Abdurasul
Oct 22, 2014
People smart choice should be supported - they have right to refuse a job proposal - IELTS

1 - In IELTS, I suggest that you'd better write "some people", instead of some, which seems incomplete thought. both...

Writing Feedbackboo2601 - Oct 22, 2014
eddies
Oct 22, 2014
Pet ownership can give merits and demerits for the animal who are involved and for the community

1 - You have good ideas to answer better. But you need to work on grammar and sentence structure. For example........ Discuss the...

Writing FeedbackMann_ms - Oct 21, 2014
shavaktm
Oct 22, 2014
Essay: Extra private lessons outside school hours helps do better at school. Disagree or agree?

1 - 'First of all' i think this word better if you use 'Firstly' create chnage with created

Writing FeedbackVera Canderine - Oct 22, 2014
Wiratmaja_Dicky
Oct 22, 2014
IELTS TASK 2: Challenges and Strategies of People who Move to New Cities or New Country

5 - This introductory paragraph failed to present what the prompt is asking. For this question, It is always good...

Writing Feedbackmaritsanur - Oct 21, 2014
eddies
Oct 22, 2014
IELTS national teams/individual financially supported by the government/non-government organisations

4 - This essay contains over 500 words. Also, make sure that you write it in 40 minutes. It is hard to...

Writing Feedbackmaritsanur - Oct 20, 2014
eddies
Oct 22, 2014
Robots will play a crucial role in 21 first century

1 - -replace "a lot of or lots of" by abundance of, many, a huge number , plenty of, the majority of....

Writing FeedbackVns9x - Oct 21, 2014
anthonynguyen
Oct 22, 2014
Qualification is still the fundamental determinant of an employee's competency of their jobs.(ielts)

1 - With the increased educational level of workforce, there are a/the ( depend on ur view) growing number of employers seeking criteria...

Writing Feedbackwilliam731 - Oct 22, 2014
anthonynguyen
Oct 22, 2014
[IELTS] International aid should be prioritised as foreigners are facing more serious problems

3 - I believe much should be use for uncountable things. if you use s after problem, it's better to use many...

Writing Feedbackzjxhz - Oct 21, 2014
maritsanur
Oct 22, 2014
IELTS - Exporting is beneficial to people's well-being as they can afford high quality products

7 - I think after despite must be noun directly: despite the transportation cost,... if you want to use prep "of", it's...

Writing Feedbackzjxhz - Oct 18, 2014
maritsanur
Oct 22, 2014
IELTS TASK 2: Medical Treatment; Health is above wealth for inhabitants in this world

4 - Health is wealth. This is why people ensure their health. Also, advances in technologies improved are to cure diseases....

Writing FeedbackAnfalia - Oct 20, 2014
eddies
Oct 21, 2014
Biometric - cost, reliability and public acceptance of fingerprint and iris

1 - ...to protect their database and information from theft or loss, stealing or losing, ... and this is done by some high...

Writing Feedbackhaval - Oct 16, 2014
EF_Kevin
Oct 21, 2014
'Airplanes became the most outstanding vehicle' - Automobiles or Bicycles or Airplanes?

2 - if you will be travelling by ships, then it would require from tremendous amount of time If you travel by...

Writing FeedbackVns9x - Oct 20, 2014
gbekil
Oct 21, 2014
People should choose their mindset to have a small family to live happier with their wife/husband

1 - in this part you should remember that "to" followed by Verb 1. Hi yulis,...

Writing FeedbackYULIS - Oct 21, 2014
Mann_ms
Oct 21, 2014
International travel agencies are going to reduce their fees for people. Discuss advantages and dis.

7 - AlinaSkripets. about " pick the cheap hotels, restaurants and lessen their profit" i meant they do reduce their profit and do...

Writing Feedbackanthonynguyen - Oct 15, 2014
anthonynguyen
Oct 21, 2014
To make our children happy, we must not only have a job but also spend enough time with them - TOEFL

3 - Tkanks, tekikurin, for advising :D

Writing Feedbackodon - Oct 17, 2014
odon
Oct 21, 2014
IELTS - young people's challenges in major cities

6 - Great essay! You can expect a band 7 in writing

Writing Feedbackcy20070324 - Sep 20, 2014
dev311
Oct 21, 2014
School subjects will influence in student's future - Physical Education - IELTS TASK 2

1 - Young generations are nation's expectation in the future (a stop here) that have responsible life to make their country be better...

Writing FeedbackAnfalia - Oct 20, 2014
eddies
Oct 20, 2014
Zebra mussel - integrated writing: zebra mussel - TOEFL

2 - It's much better, thank you

Writing Feedbacknickyzhi - Oct 20, 2014
nickyzhi
Oct 20, 2014
Public should care together with government and all participants to solve problems of our planet

1 - Climate change has been hot issue discussion in the worldToday's issue is climate change. Government and members of public in all...

Writing FeedbackMann_ms - Oct 20, 2014
eddies
Oct 20, 2014
Select a cultural phenomenon - do you see any danger in our society's dependence?

2 - I like your straightforward writing style. Now I want to suggest a way to make your essays leave...

Writing Feedbacklink2 - Oct 20, 2014
EF_Kevin
Oct 20, 2014
Relying on mobile phones may completely alienate us from the society and make us some trouble

1 - Saba, while you present good discussion points for your essay, there are parts that need to be adjusted for content because...

Writing Feedbackshavaktm - Oct 20, 2014
vangiespen
Oct 20, 2014
HISTORIC BUILDINGS - symbol of the cities and piece of our own history

1 - Lastly, many people, who were very important in the history, lived in this historical places,destroying this kind of places is a...

Writing Feedbackbetit_betiti - Oct 20, 2014
bteng011284
Oct 20, 2014
Today we live in the world of competition and worries. IELTS Writing Academic

2 - We hear the news of inflation, people complaining about it - this seems to be incomplete, - Most people are...

Writing Feedbackbaj_roman - Oct 20, 2014
bteng011284
Oct 20, 2014
Students usually obtain lots of assignments from the professor. It can waste a large amount of time.

1 - There are many grammar issues. Change your first word to Work.

Writing FeedbackVns9x - Oct 20, 2014
enzomentos
Oct 20, 2014
IELTS ESSAY: Many people are afraid to leave their homes because of the fear of crime.

4 - Your conclusion looks like an introduction. In fact, never write from my point of view in conclusion.

Writing Feedbackgingerfly - Oct 15, 2014
Vns9x
Oct 20, 2014
IELTS : what is the impact of technology on the frequency of face-to-face communication?

3 - Overall, it is a good essay. However, I do not consider 5 paragraphs essay is perfect. Furthermore, it is better to...

Writing FeedbackHarin - Oct 11, 2014
Vns9x
Oct 20, 2014
Firstly, on a safety level, traveling with a guide is most important

3 - Thanks you very much , guys So inspirational comments.

Writing Feedbackodon - Oct 19, 2014
odon
Oct 19, 2014
I decided to join a club; there was only one sport that interested me - soccer; narrative essay

2 - Thank you very much, I'll consider your advice. I'm foreign and that is the reason I have such a bad grammar...

Writing Feedbackalans5010 - Oct 19, 2014
alans5010
Oct 19, 2014
Once time, I came to countryside. It was terrible! Living in the crowded cities is better.

2 - thanks odon

Writing Feedbacktekikurin - Oct 18, 2014
tekikurin
Oct 19, 2014
The Feeling Of My Father - The first one optimism was chosen

2 - thanks a lot :)

Writing Feedbackcaroline123 - Oct 18, 2014
caroline123
Oct 19, 2014
IELTS Task 2 : The surveillance of closed-circuit television

4 - You need to present scientific facts so as to support those paragraphs. By doing so, readers won't cogitate about...

Writing FeedbacktiaDS - Oct 17, 2014
eddies
Oct 19, 2014
A young inventor called Kelvin Doe

2 - thanks a lot :) a boy who have decided to help his community by his innovative solutions for severe problems....

Writing FeedbackSatar - Oct 18, 2014
Satar
Oct 18, 2014
The problems that Facebook can cause for us.

5 - Do not forget about layout. Moreover, attempt to rephrase your reasons in conclusion. It is better.

Writing FeedbackVera Canderine - Oct 14, 2014
Vns9x
Oct 18, 2014
"in the way to success, there is no feet of lazy person" luck/hard work=Success

2 - Read this out load slowly to yourself. a couple of small words could be added "the". Succeed instead of success in...

Writing Feedbackmeokhoang94 - Oct 2, 2014
ksuydam54
Oct 18, 2014
Argumentative Essay on "Jeremy" by Pearl Jam

1 - Rebecca, what you have written is more of an opinion essay than an argumentative essay. That is because the video is...

Writing Feedbackbech - Oct 15, 2014
vangiespen
Oct 18, 2014
Factory and its aftermaths

8 - Vns, when it comes to verifying the content of your essay, I cannot assure you that the TOEFL examiner will not...

Writing FeedbackVns9x - Oct 14, 2014
vangiespen
Oct 17, 2014
How to control media so that they give the right opinions instead being inclined to some ideology?

2 - Ignore the previous comment on summary. The summary is better than one answering the question. It basically means - you don't...

Writing Feedbackbaj_roman - Oct 17, 2014
English_Learner
Oct 17, 2014
Pride. These days, antiques became the most popular thing in Cambodia

1 - Hi Vns9x. This is a good essay. :D what is this for? toefl? But i think i noticed...

Writing FeedbackVns9x - Oct 17, 2014
odon
Oct 17, 2014
IELTS: There are two potential places for the supermarket - Map question

2 - First of all, I want to emphasis that in the task 1, you have to write overview paragraph instead of...

Writing Feedbackgalileoaskan - Oct 16, 2014
tiaDS
Oct 17, 2014
Online learning is becoming a convenient way in which many people are obtaining their degrees.

2 - Ya. Tks u so much! ^^! i try to use it

Writing Feedbacksangnhoxq2 - Oct 15, 2014
sangnhoxq2
Oct 16, 2014
Thoughts on my essay about private companies spending more money on research compared to governments

1 - Here, at the beginning, I wonder what purpose you have for using the word 'dynamic': In the present dynamic and advancing...

Writing Feedbackjeewhat - Oct 16, 2014
EF_Kevin
Oct 16, 2014
IELTS: IMPROVED MEDICAL CARE > LIFE EXPECTANCY - advantages vs disadvantages.

1 - Is there a word limit? If not, I would suggest elaborating on your main points. Maybe bring up some examples of...

Writing Feedbackkttrung - Oct 16, 2014
IHaile
Oct 16, 2014
Life is a complex thing. Every single second is our lesson as well as experience.

1 - Vns, I would like to suggest that you draw the example of this essay from your personal experience in order to...

Writing FeedbackVns9x - Oct 16, 2014
vangiespen
Oct 16, 2014
TOEFL: The food we eat today may put a damper on our health rather than making us live healthier

12 - Yue, thanks for the prompt. Now that I know what it is, I can tell you that the essay answers the...

Writing FeedbackYUEyue - Oct 12, 2014
vangiespen
Oct 16, 2014
IELTS : Children are engaged in paid job. Discuss both views and give your opinion

3 - Nowadays, the trend of getting involved in the paid job of young folks shows an alarming growth. Some mankind consider this...

Writing FeedbackJennNguyen - Oct 14, 2014
kttrung
Oct 16, 2014
IELTS- Families who choose private education should not support the state education system

4 - There are several reasons that it would be wrong to reduce taxes for on families who pay for private education

Writing FeedbackSAM2014 - Oct 9, 2014
kttrung
Oct 16, 2014
TOEFL: It is essential to control how much time you spent watching TV or movies

2 - Thanks for your tips! :)

Writing FeedbackCarolst - Oct 15, 2014
Carolst
Oct 15, 2014
What impact on children has the lack of social and emotional learning from parents and teachers?

2 - Thank you god add I'm wetting for more advice

Writing FeedbackPqowieuryt - Oct 15, 2014
Pqowieuryt
Oct 15, 2014
Discuss and critique how the revised Ofsted inspection framework have impacted safeguarding EYFS

1 - Strunk and White say it is a nice writing style if you use a comma to separate the two halves of...

Writing Feedbackscentfromabove - Oct 11, 2014
EF_Kevin
Oct 15, 2014
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