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Writing Feedback


Need advice on improving TOEFL, SAT, GRE and other academic essays?
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Internet will help student only if he has a desire to study

5 - This is not a strong hook to open your essay. Your first sentence of the essay is a very important...

Writing Feedbackrassul - Aug 3, 2014
dumi
Aug 26, 2014
[TOEFL] Every experience always gives us something to learn and keep for life

4 - I think you need to fine tune your approach on the introduction. You should have introduced the issue to the...

Writing Feedbacksky2586 - Aug 2, 2014
dumi
Aug 26, 2014
Ielts writing task1 - percentages of population and wealth in world

4 - Well, if this is for IELTS TASK1, you should have uploaded your graphs to enable us providing you with more meaningful...

Writing Feedbackhandsome7boy - Aug 9, 2014
dumi
Aug 26, 2014
What God thinks about it? - Why cosmetic surgery must be banned

2 - Many people believe that cosmetic surgeries help them strengthen their relationships and pave the for a happier life. However,...

Writing Feedbackgerrard - Aug 17, 2014
dumi
Aug 26, 2014
The bar chart shows the amount of sales in silver goods in 000's of units for two companies nextyear

3 - Yes, you need to upload the image. Use the "Attach file(s)" feature in the Message Block to upload your image...

Writing FeedbackGulnar604 - Jul 30, 2014
dumi
Aug 26, 2014
Computer skills reassure the future work-life - is it good to use computers from primary school age?

2 - In modern world, the knowledge and skills in computer science is an indispensable requirement. I think your essay reads...

Writing Feedbackparand - Aug 6, 2014
dumi
Aug 26, 2014
IELTS writing part 1. Popularuty of on-line purchases in different countries.

4 - Thank you for the feedback! Will work on that!

Writing FeedbackLenaKuzn - Aug 26, 2014
LenaKuzn
Aug 26, 2014
toefl: multiple short breaks are good for children to do well in their school life

2 - Well, I think you should have chosen only one of these two ideas to begin your essay. The opening sentence,...

Writing Feedbacksayes - Aug 6, 2014
dumi
Aug 26, 2014
IELTS: The tax reduction of state school for parents who have children studying in private system

3 - Firstly, by paying taxes for in support of public schools, affluent people are forced to effectively contribute to narrowing down the...

Writing FeedbackAnh Nguyen 265 - Aug 7, 2014
dumi
Aug 26, 2014
'I'm really keen on cook since I was a little girl' - Describe a hobby

2 - I'm really keen on cooking since I was a little girl. I usually learn how to cook by searching the...

Writing FeedbackJanice yang - Aug 25, 2014
Pahan
Aug 25, 2014
Internet and TV have a greater influence over people's lives than politicians. Do u agree?

11 - I think your best bet is to change your point of view or the way you approach your essay. It is...

Writing Feedbackd96nguyen - Aug 25, 2014
ruffruff999
Aug 25, 2014
TOEFL: It is more important to use available land for farmland, housing, and industry.

3 - ..... you are welcome :) First, the population of the Earth has been increasing steadily, and people need new...

Writing FeedbackVadimKlimenko - Aug 1, 2014
dumi
Aug 25, 2014
Toefl: people judge others by external appearance but is better also to consider the inner qualities

5 - Alright :) Judge[font#FF0000]ment based on external appearance is not a good way to figure out the background of...

Writing Feedbackhamedmas - Aug 22, 2014
dumi
Aug 25, 2014
'there will be more equipment and we will be dependent on them' - conveniences vs development

2 - We might say that because of new technology we have become more machine dependent and have lost deteriorated our ability to...

Writing Feedbackpinaksalvekar - Aug 25, 2014
niesaysi
Aug 25, 2014
Contemporary life prevent people from developing into strong and independent individual - Gre Issue

5 - nice essay, examples should be more clear.

Writing FeedbackNinad09 - Aug 22, 2014
pinaksalvekar
Aug 25, 2014
Toefl: It should be mandatory for every company to substitute their old equipment with new ones.

5 - Dear eddies. Thank you a lot. I learnt many things from your advice.

Writing Feedbackhamedmas - Aug 21, 2014
hamedmas
Aug 25, 2014
TOEFL: 'friendly and good at cooking person' - the important qualities of a good roommate.

2 - Finding a good roommate who are is suitable, who can share my emotions (I like if you replace this word...

Writing Feedbacktoannguyen - Aug 13, 2014
dumi
Aug 25, 2014
TOEFL: 'joining sport team' - the best way for students to make new friends?

2 - Thanks a lot!

Writing FeedbackPenny Chou - Aug 24, 2014
Penny Chou
Aug 24, 2014
"Closing My Eyes" - driving on the expressway at night - PLACE YOU FEEL CONTENT...

3 - I definitely think you should start over. I suggest that you outline the reasons you feel content in your car before...

Writing FeedbackIyeshaferguson - Aug 24, 2014
vangiespen
Aug 24, 2014
TOEFL - people are way more disparate at the exterior contrary to what they are inside

3 - I think you need to pay more attention to the approach. Your essay does not contain a good introduction which introduces...

Writing Feedbackshreyansh13 - Jul 28, 2014
dumi
Aug 24, 2014
Why study? Knowledge, experience and career are essential for today's young people to concentrate on

4 - It is clear obvious that knowledge is an important key which leads to success. Most people believe that university and college...

Writing Feedbackd96nguyen - Aug 24, 2014
dumi
Aug 24, 2014
Some people say that success is "10 percent talent and 90 percent hard work"

5 - I find this sentence very very confusing. You need to pay lots of attention to clarity of your sentences. It...

Writing FeedbackKatyDao - Jun 10, 2014
Pahan
Aug 24, 2014
IELTS: 'economic, diplomacy, and environmental' - most popular career choices for youth in Indonesia

5 - After analize analyzing the Indonesian condition among preferences for three popular careers in Indonesiaabove, I believe that diplomacy will be...

Writing Feedbackfadlanmuzakki - Aug 13, 2014
Pahan
Aug 24, 2014
TOEFL: Some people prefer to play team sports, while others prefer to play individual sports.

3 - As I set my eyes on your essay, what I noticed was that your first body para is pretty big while...

Writing FeedbackVadimKlimenko - Aug 4, 2014
Pahan
Aug 24, 2014
TOEFL: new factory will enhance the quality of life and our town's image promotion

3 - Some people who disagree with the idea of building of the factory argued argue (keep it in present tense as your...

Writing FeedbackMckenzie - Aug 10, 2014
Pahan
Aug 24, 2014
GRE - Issue task - People should undertake risky action only after they consider its consequences.

4 - Thank you D! It really helps that you clearly mention what the problem is, and I also think the supporting ideas...

Writing FeedbackLauren5102 - Aug 20, 2014
Lauren5102
Aug 24, 2014
IELTS: public transportation and more flyovers as a solution for traffic congestion

5 - @dumi, eddies, Shinigami97 : thank you a lots for correcting me ^^

Writing FeedbackPyon9x - Aug 22, 2014
Pyon9x
Aug 24, 2014
NUCLEAR TECHNOLOGY: The threat of nuclear weapons maintains world peace.

3 - Nuclear technology is a much debated heated issue topic. Some people think that there are several benefits to use nuclear power...

Writing FeedbackDuong68 - Aug 13, 2014
dumi
Aug 24, 2014
IELTS: 'bring happiness to my nearest and dearest' - which salary would be better?

3 - I too agree with Pahan. You display good writing skills, good grammar, vocabulary knowledge, sentence structures etc. What you...

Writing Feedbackdiidoobiib - Aug 23, 2014
dumi
Aug 24, 2014
Ielts - fast food is good or bad?

10 - One the On one hand, most of the fast food restaurants offer affordable meals.With-increasing cost living,people tend to opt cheaper...

Writing FeedbackHelpmeet - Jun 6, 2014
dumi
Aug 24, 2014
TOEFL -advices from senior people are more valuable than from people at our age

4 - I feel you have uploaded a wrong topic for this essay .......... I cannot find any relevance between that and...

Writing Feedbackjamie3160003 - Jul 1, 2014
dumi
Aug 24, 2014
TOEFL: 'ancient people lived a natural life' - Now it's easier to maintain health

6 - Furthermore, modern people enjoys enjoy (people is a plural noun ) a better quality life, and a smarter life. Personal experiences...

Writing FeedbackStevenKuang - Jul 30, 2014
dumi
Aug 23, 2014
IELTS TASK 2: WOMEN AND MEN EXCLUDED FROM SPECIFIC JOBS ?

2 - Your idea is not very clearly conveyed here............ I think you should rephrase this sentence to enhance its clarity; On...

Writing FeedbackShinigami97 - Aug 22, 2014
dumi
Aug 23, 2014
'new and exciting sport should be welcomed' - IELTS: Essay on whether to ban dangerous sports

1 - Very good essay so far. Here are my grammar suggestions: "should let people do what they want yet put them...

Writing Feedbackthanhthanhdo10 - Aug 23, 2014
yazoo
Aug 23, 2014
Learn variety of cultures, traditions by engaging with local people and visiting historical places

1 - Your writing is great! It's hard to find an error. So I will tell you how to improve...

Writing Feedbacklatkhan - Aug 22, 2014
EF_Kevin
Aug 23, 2014
IELTS: 'opportunity to be healthier physically and mentally' - Children are given too much free time

6 - I think you need more analysis to strongly support your idea As for Grammar it's quite good

Writing FeedbackSaadhin - Aug 19, 2014
Anouar
Aug 23, 2014
IELTS - dramatic increase in the number of Japanese people travelling abroad - Bar chart, Line Graph

5 - Thank Dumi, Eddies, and Pyon9x so much. I will try to understand and fix my mistakes now. Then I will try...

Writing Feedbackviolethoang - Aug 21, 2014
violethoang
Aug 23, 2014
IELTS: The increasing demand for oil and gas has made it necessary to look for these sources

3 - Thank you for the suggestions, and I will practice more and harder.

Writing Feedbackdigitalidea - Aug 6, 2014
digitalidea
Aug 23, 2014
IELTS - Compulsory voluntary work is a contradiction, and not only in a literal way

4 - On one hand, the purpose of community service or any form of voluntary work is a question still up open for...

Writing FeedbackBurguete - Jul 27, 2014
Pahan
Aug 23, 2014
IELTS Detailed description of crimes on newspaper and TV can have bad consequences on society

1 - Nowadays,the printed as well as the electronic media tend to dedicate large amounts of significant airtime and space to detailed reports...

Writing Feedbacksundin928 - Jul 28, 2014
Pahan
Aug 23, 2014
TOEFL - Finding a good job and increasing the knowledge are the main reasons for study

3 - First of all, people want to enter to the attend university to improve their knowledge. These people want to learn...

Writing Feedbackabedkh - Aug 7, 2014
Pahan
Aug 23, 2014
Learning a new language process

4 - Nowadays, many people want and try to learn new languages for in hope of bettering their career and stay connected with...

Writing Feedbackkbektas - Jul 30, 2014
dumi
Aug 23, 2014
IELTS:Parents sending their kids abroad to acquire good education. Good or bad trend?

4 - Most of the students are face facing ( wrong grammar here- students face / students are facing) home-sickness homesick...

Writing Feedbackdevabe2005 - Aug 1, 2014
dumi
Aug 23, 2014
Event letter in ielts exam - "International Day"

2 - I am so pleased to hear that about this wonderful event "International Day" which will is going to be held...

Writing FeedbackGood2690108411 - Jul 7, 2014
dumi
Aug 23, 2014
IELTS: The contribution of agriculture, manufacturing and business sectors to the UK economy

6 - Between the intro and the body paras, insert an Overview which gives an overall idea to the reader :)...

Writing Feedbackmanutd9111993 - Jul 29, 2014
dumi
Aug 23, 2014
TOEFL: 'new building construction hold the right to gain more money from government'

2 - The housing shortage is drawing more and more attention nowadays. And and the cost of accommodation keeps growing these years. .........

Writing FeedbackStevenKuang - Aug 2, 2014
dumi
Aug 23, 2014
IELTS: 'disaster situations' - todays individuals are becoming more dependent on each other

4 - It seems that people have heavy reliance on others one another because they have to collaborate with each other (sounds repetitive...

Writing Feedbackswfchn - Aug 7, 2014
dumi
Aug 23, 2014
Those who are aware of where to go, customs and life are likely to experience satisfactory journey

3 - These days the number of visitors who are travel to foreign countries has have been markedly significantly increased. Culture awareness lead...

Writing Feedbackali1 - Aug 8, 2014
dumi
Aug 23, 2014
IELTS: Charity among UK people between 1990-2010 in five age groups

4 - The bar chart show presents data about the proportion of UK people giving money to charity by age range between 1990...

Writing Feedbacklinusyu0313 - Aug 7, 2014
dumi
Aug 23, 2014
IELTS: It is necessary for people to choose the appropriate working mode in career growth

3 - Well, I see a difference in what you say by "permanently in the same company" and "not changing the...

Writing Feedbackdigitalidea - Aug 9, 2014
dumi
Aug 23, 2014
Studying major cities helps to understand the most important characteristics of a society -GRE Issue

2 - Thanks Binte! Now that I read again the prompt, I might have understood the statement. I should have focused on one...

Writing Feedbackdunguyen - Aug 23, 2014
dunguyen
Aug 23, 2014
TOEFL: Drivers have to pay a fee for driving in Rush Hour

3 - Started in the From the beginning of late eighteenth century, the industrialization and urbanization witnessed the an explosion in number of...

Writing Feedbackchenwc1 - Aug 11, 2014
dumi
Aug 23, 2014
Bill Gates as University Professor? - TOEFL Essay

2 - Successful entrepreneurs and sport stars can inspire the lives of many people. Well, I see you are practicing for...

Writing Feedbackluongminh97 - Aug 12, 2014
dumi
Aug 23, 2014
Self Introduction For UN Young Professional Programme

7 - "Urip iku Urup" ( a comma ) an indigenous Javanese saying maxim ( a comma ) is having deep meaning to...

Writing FeedbackSHanafi - Aug 6, 2014
eddies
Aug 22, 2014
TOEFL: A/D? In modern times, parents will learn more from their children

6 - This contains bad grammar. Use this pattern: While some people argue that this statement bla bla bla, some others claim...

Writing FeedbackAichen - Aug 8, 2014
eddies
Aug 22, 2014
IELTS: some people think the government should spend more money on science than art. Do you agree ?

5 - (the) amount of is followed by uncountable noun (the) number of followed by plural noun excellent idea...

Writing Feedbacksky1997 - Jul 21, 2014
eddies
Aug 22, 2014
IELTS: Living away from parents provide youngsters opportunity to meet variety of new people

7 - In recent years, Major major cities have seen unprecedented growth (of what? you need to specify! ) and have become...

Writing Feedbackmvettri - Aug 8, 2014
dumi
Aug 22, 2014
TOEFL_inventors and science pioneers always try new things and take risks

1 - Throughout history, there have been many inventions and breakthroughs have invented made by brave persons. Well.......... your sentences...

Writing Feedbackmasih65 - Aug 22, 2014
dumi
Aug 22, 2014
Parents teach their children the most important and necessary things; they are the best teachers.

5 - His/her life begins with the first teachers, who are parents A child's life begins with his or her's first teachers...

Writing Feedbacknasrullah - Aug 17, 2014
jwajwa
Aug 22, 2014
More and more people now choose to wear the fashionable clothes.

10 - The main reason of this is that wearing the fashionable garments can capture the attention of the general public,and thus people...

Writing Feedbacksundin928 - Jul 23, 2014
dumi
Aug 22, 2014
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