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Research advice on TOEFL, SAT, IELTS, GRE and other academic essays (page 6)

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IELTS TASK2: there is a trend towards the use of alternative forms of medicine

3 - Hello my edits and suggestions are below: Good health is a key for (to a) happy life. For this reason,(...

Writing FeedbackAnfalia - Mar 17, 2015
EF_Jasmine
Mar 17, 2015
Columbia and Yamhill - population in the state of Oregon by Country - IELTS writing

4 - Overall, it is immediately apparent that Washington was the most country in term of population since had the highest population from1940...

Writing Feedbacktikyu - Mar 15, 2015
lynzee22
Mar 17, 2015
The components of a thermos flask to maintain hot liquid (IELTS 1)

5 - Hello, I have done some edits below. I hope this helps. Please be careful with wording. You add...

Writing Feedbackshintacandrade - Mar 13, 2015
lynzee22
Mar 17, 2015
IELTS TASK 2 : It is important to keep the circuses exhibition, without using rare animals.

8 - From my point of view. I believe that the government in every country should come up with the rolea way...

Writing FeedbackNiddumakhi - Mar 17, 2015
lynzee22
Mar 17, 2015
The line graph compares and contrast data on the different percentage of unemployed women

6 - In general, the percentage of unemployed women in the age groups is fluctuating, whereas the peak is in age group 45...

Writing Feedbackilma - Mar 13, 2015
lynzee22
Mar 17, 2015
IELTS TASK 2: Information technology enables many people to do their work outside their workplace

5 - Technology drives an innovation and a revolution in worker mobility. While it renders some advantages and disadvantages, I...

Writing FeedbackAnfalia - Mar 7, 2015
lynzee22
Mar 17, 2015
Modern lifestyles are increasingly stressful, therefore people in this world are faced by stress.

4 - As an obvious example, the majority of people in London are workaholics, and almost a half of their day is spent...

Writing FeedbackAnfalia - Mar 17, 2015
lynzee22
Mar 17, 2015
My Thrilling Birth Day Surprise in Royal Boutique - simple narrative essay

3 - Hi..Gaura, thanks so much for the help in making my essay in a correct way. I really appreciate it. I have...

Writing FeedbackKomank Sukarma - Mar 13, 2015
Komank Sukarma
Mar 16, 2015
These days everyone seems to have more and more possessions (e.g. computers, cars, mobile phones, et

4 - Thank you so much! That's a great help!

Writing FeedbackSunnydayyy - Mar 15, 2015
Sunnydayyy
Mar 15, 2015
'fresh ideas of creating new successful starts-up' - should we follow customs of a visited country?

3 - Thank you for correction

Writing FeedbackIoda_Julia - Mar 15, 2015
Ioda_Julia
Mar 15, 2015
Whether to voice our opinions or not? Listening to your heart is of vital importance.

4 - Wow Thank you so much for your help !!

Writing FeedbackDoggy - Mar 12, 2015
Doggy
Mar 15, 2015
Opening scenes of God Father 1 & 2 ; NCEA Level 3 English Film Study Essay

3 - Dear Sir or Madam, I am doing an essay on the opening scenes of God Father 1 and 2 and this...

Writing FeedbackNoble - Sep 4, 2013
EF_Carol
Mar 15, 2015
The process of pencil making from graphite and wood

4 - Clearly, it can be seen that the process is divided into two stages. Although the process of pencil cases...

Writing Feedbackmumtazdinar - Mar 13, 2015
vincenm
Mar 15, 2015
Firstly, when the rain falls, the dam is full for a period of time. How the rainwater is reused.

5 - Overall, this is good. I just have a few improvements in grammatical points of view This sentence describes a...

Writing Feedbackmumtazdinar - Mar 7, 2015
eddies
Mar 14, 2015
The number of population in the U.S. of Oregon - gradual rise in three different counties

3 - Adhisti: a leading countie be careful with your spelling, it should be "continue" Thank you for your best suggestion....

Writing FeedbackAdhisti - Mar 14, 2015
Adhisti
Mar 14, 2015
'my grandfather has diabetes' Young people enjoy more than older people?

2 - Hi! My edits and suggestions are below: So that we can help you to our best abilities, it would be...

Writing FeedbackVinusha - May 7, 2013
EF_Jasmine
Mar 13, 2015
The carbon cycle in our life - from fossil fuels to photosynthesis

5 - The diagram illustrates the [s]way in which the[/s] howcarbon is recycled in the daily life. It can be seen that there...

Writing FeedbackZihni92 - Mar 13, 2015
lynzee22
Mar 13, 2015
The process of the greenhouse effect in the earth' surface - too much gases accumulated

3 - I like the way in which you presented this intro. You started introducing the diagram with a simple sentence showing...

Writing Feedbackshintacandrade - Mar 13, 2015
eddies
Mar 13, 2015
In developed countries like America, France and Germany nearly everyone seems to own a car.

3 - Hello, Thanks for your annotations and your feedback! You help me a lot! Today I will write another essay...

Writing FeedbackCE317 - Mar 11, 2015
CE317
Mar 13, 2015
Critique practice GRE "Analyze an Argument"(head of household)

2 - Your essay is a little hard to follow. I think if you write a clearer thesis it will be easier...

Writing FeedbackMBA_bound - Oct 21, 2012
lynzee22
Mar 12, 2015
Universities' aims should provide more opportunities for students to study their own shake

8 - These days, the main purpose of universities has generated many discussions. Some experts believe universities are the place for students to...

Writing Feedbackshintacandrade - Feb 23, 2015
lynzee22
Mar 12, 2015
Children of helicopter parents are more likely to feel depressed and less satisfied with their lives

3 - Thank you. Anything else that needs polishing up would be awesome.

Writing FeedbackESSAYGENIUS - Mar 12, 2015
ESSAYGENIUS
Mar 12, 2015
Cultures .. one view of their dynamics; Pilgrims of Eastern origin

3 - Lynsee, I wrote another essay in which I have tried to express the main idea again. http://www.essayforum.com/writing-3/house-tramps-owner-unseen-62281/ Thank...

Writing FeedbackRajiv - Mar 6, 2015
Rajiv
Mar 10, 2015
Even though the internet is not completely flawless, in general his impact is positive for us

2 - You could start a new sentence from here. Too lengthy sentences are not necessary. This...

Writing Feedbackjakelly - Mar 10, 2015
MisterWandering
Mar 10, 2015
//IELTS-1// the table and charts below - destination and employment of UK graduates

4 - Hallo autumn_waltz, you're welcome... Ohh I see, sorry I've just realized that you have put your overview there. May be...

Writing Feedbackautumn_waltz - Mar 9, 2015
shintacandrade
Mar 10, 2015
Trying to rephrase a paragraph with unusual grammar to get intended message across

3 - I needed something that modifies the trial set date, not the second sentence.

Writing Feedbacksabooakhter - Mar 9, 2015
sabooakhter
Mar 9, 2015
Practical exercise is necessary to reduce a gap between industry and educational institution

8 - Thanks for your explanation. Now I can see it clearer

Writing Feedbackmasktaz - Feb 21, 2015
masktaz
Mar 9, 2015
There have been growing concerns from many schools about the concentrate of students in class.

4 - Nice comments! Thanks for supporting me.

Writing FeedbackMisstuyet94 - Mar 6, 2015
Misstuyet94
Mar 9, 2015
cultural identity lost because the emerge of internet. IELTS

3 - Thanks so much.

Writing FeedbackRorA_IDC - Mar 8, 2015
RorA_IDC
Mar 8, 2015
House is a good place to protect you, to relax yourself as well as give you more freedom.

3 - Hi gara94, These are several suggestions to improve your writing, It is better for you...

Writing Feedbackgara94 - Mar 8, 2015
mumtazdinar
Mar 8, 2015
Changes in the proportion of online shopping to the film/music retail sector in New Zealand

2 - These pie charts compare the percentage of online sales on four different retail sectors in New Zealand between 2003 and 2013....

Writing Feedbackmumtazdinar - Mar 7, 2015
lynzee22
Mar 8, 2015
'I could bare feel the scalding handprint on my cheek' - Descriptive essay - A rash action

2 - I could bare feel the scalding handprint on my cheek. I wish I could be in Lily's place, however, what had...

Writing FeedbackYierei - Mar 8, 2015
EF_Carol
Mar 8, 2015
Riversdale University's Map in 1973 and in 2010 - IELTS Writing Task 1

2 - Hi,Mumtazdinar!Actually a wonderful essay for me.I,myself cannot find ANY mistakes. but if i write this compostion,i will mention the reason why...

Writing Feedbackmumtazdinar - Mar 7, 2015
RorA_IDC
Mar 8, 2015
Preventing crime is the viable benefit of using body scanner and CCTV - IELTS

7 - Thank you for your comments. It will improve my skill at writing.

Writing Feedbackakhfan - Mar 7, 2015
akhfan
Mar 8, 2015
I intend to argue that the general impacts of international tourism have in fact been negative

3 - Hi huonghoavc94vn, These are several suggestions for your writing: Good Luck and Happy Writing

Writing Feedbackhuonghoavc94vn - Mar 4, 2015
mumtazdinar
Mar 7, 2015
The cool night breeze whistled softly, blowing lightly through my hair

6 - Hello maddy1579, I'm having a little trouble following what's happening here. From what I can understand, the narrator is experiencing...

Writing Feedbackmaddy1579 - Mar 3, 2015
dquinlan11
Mar 7, 2015
Bad news in the media? Just to make money and to gain popularity.

4 - Thank you vidhyamouli and Lbernal11 for your valuable suggestions and comments.

Writing FeedbackBALAJISK - Mar 4, 2015
BALAJISK
Mar 7, 2015
Movement of population to cities becomes more popular in many countries for several reasons. IELTS

6 - Let me give you the pattern of multiple idea; topic sentence; firstly, reason; example; result; secondly; (thirdly) Good...

Writing FeedbackGaiavu - Mar 6, 2015
Anfalia
Mar 7, 2015
IELTS TASK 2: One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer

8 - Thank you so much. It really helps me to improve my writing. :)

Writing FeedbackAnfalia - Mar 1, 2015
Anfalia
Mar 7, 2015
In general, Social Sciences, Arts leads highly of the main fields of study than the other subjects.

4 - It takes some time to give some feedback, as this writing has no picture included. I suggest attaching the picture...

Writing FeedbackKifti H Islami - Mar 6, 2015
eddies
Mar 6, 2015
On the whole, people need to be aware of the value of food-consumed.

3 - Chemical fertilizer resulting from today's developments in science and technology areis bound to pose benefits to the (I think you don't...

Writing FeedbackAnfalia - Mar 4, 2015
eddies
Mar 6, 2015
Video surveillance has become commonplace in many countries to reduce crime

7 - Hello, You present a good start to an argument on this topic. However, along with the suggestions above,...

Writing Feedbackanhminh3105 - Feb 27, 2015
lynzee22
Mar 6, 2015
"Engineering is an application of science to the purpose of life" said by Count Rumford

3 - I'm glad to hear that, thank you for correcting my essay and i'll rewrite it with your suggestions.

Writing Feedbackanhminh3105 - Mar 5, 2015
anhminh3105
Mar 5, 2015
It is often alleged that many teenagers want to reach their higher education after finishing school.

4 - yes I know but I referred to the sentence preceded. >>There has been increasing interest in teenagers should spend their spare...

Writing Feedbackdavechau - Mar 4, 2015
anhminh3105
Mar 5, 2015
Children are tomorrow asset for parent and nation. IELTS essay

2 - Hello, my edits and suggestions are below: Children are tomorrow(s) asset for parent and nation. For this reason, children in...

Writing FeedbackAnfalia - Mar 4, 2015
EF_Jasmine
Mar 5, 2015
I do not agree to follow the same curriculum through all that period of time; GRE essay

7 - Thank you for your comments Anfalia, I will definitely make use of all comments to better my essay.

Writing FeedbackBarrera77 - Mar 1, 2015
Barrera77
Mar 5, 2015
History creates value and shapes our life. For this reason law is available to protect old buildings

3 - Thank you so much for your suggestion. I'll try it.

Writing FeedbackAnfalia - Mar 2, 2015
Anfalia
Mar 4, 2015
New discoveries benefits - for instance students can extend their knowledge from the internet

3 - In the past 100 years there are have been many useful discoveries (I think you ought to use the word...

Writing FeedbackRinzo - Mar 1, 2015
dquinlan11
Mar 4, 2015
IELTS Writing Task 1: Online Sales for retail sectors in New Zealand

3 - The(two) pie charts(below) compare the proportion of online shopping sales for retail sectors between 2003 and 2013 in New Zealand. It...

Writing Feedbacksomasalims - Mar 4, 2015
EF_Jasmine
Mar 4, 2015
Knowledge from teachers, not from internet or TV? IELTS essay - Learning Resources

4 - I think you conclusion paragraph could use some revision. From your last sentence, it looks like the goal of education is...

Writing Feedbackreplikatika - Feb 23, 2015
dquinlan11
Mar 4, 2015
Trash bins at every nook and corner, more public toilets and regularly cleaned garbage piles

3 - I come from Chennai, India. It is one of the four major metros in the country. Recently, according to a BBC...

Writing Feedbackvidhyamouli - Mar 4, 2015
lynzee22
Mar 4, 2015
World's population has peaked at a geometric rate in this day and age. IELTS WRITING TASK II

5 - You can mention some statistical data like- India population is going to increase by 40% by 2050 and the world population...

Writing Feedbackfadlanmuzakki - Feb 21, 2015
vidhyamouli
Mar 4, 2015
IELTS Writing Task 2: Security Cameras and Cellphone Tracking

3 - Technological experts have paid more attention to the development of monitoring tolls such as cameras and cellphone tracking in order to...

Writing Feedbacksomasalims - Mar 4, 2015
Lbernal11
Mar 4, 2015
Event to reduce a tension between ASEAN students, which promoted tolerance and reconciliation

3 - thank you very much for your suggestion, however, I hope you can give me an example and underline my sentence...

Writing Feedbackfadlanmuzakki - Mar 1, 2015
fadlanmuzakki
Mar 4, 2015
People who committed crime, especially the young offenders, have the right to be educated

3 - Hi duomaxwel, I have some general suggestions for you, I hope it can help you to improve your writing....

Writing Feedbackduomaxwel - Mar 3, 2015
fadlanmuzakki
Mar 4, 2015
Ageing population worldwide in 2000 and predictions for 2050. IELTS-1

3 - "Overall, the number of elderly people is expected to grow in all parts of the world, with the world total's index...

Writing Feedbackautumn_waltz - Mar 3, 2015
audley
Mar 3, 2015
Car ownership, public transport and environment protection - Ielts2

2 - Hello, Here are some edits for what you have. A good point to make is that, not only does...

Writing Feedbackautumn_waltz - Mar 3, 2015
lynzee22
Mar 3, 2015
Good friends are as valuable as pearls in life; TOEFL essay

6 - Prompt Strking backward to your prompt.I am afraid that this may not in linearly related. Based on your prompt,...

Writing Feedbackvahid11 - Feb 28, 2015
SHanafi
Mar 3, 2015
Electricity transfers from high voltage cables into transformer station - one of several stages

2 - Hi! This diagram illustrates the process of water-produced for electricity generating electricity using moving water (I'm afraid you can't say...

Writing FeedbackAnfalia - Mar 2, 2015
autumn_waltz
Mar 3, 2015
IELTS - governments subsidize museums, theaters and other arts, and it concerns many people.

5 - Thank you for the meaningful feedback on my essay! Anfalia, thank you for providing a skeleton of an essay - that's...

Writing Feedbackautumn_waltz - Mar 2, 2015
autumn_waltz
Mar 3, 2015
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