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Writing Feedback


Need advice on improving TOEFL, SAT, GRE and other academic essays?
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Teachers lost their roles in modern education?

8 - my second draft: Technology development has revolutionized the methodology of education. Peolple now can access wide range of information easily...

Writing Feedbacklastsky - Sep 22, 2014
lastsky
Sep 24, 2014
Imitation and knowledge stage; childhood - the most significant time in an individual's life (toefl)

10 - Hi. Alas, English is not my first language, so that I could only partially eliminate mistakes. Numerous people on...

Writing FeedbackVns9x - Sep 23, 2014
ironhand
Sep 24, 2014
Adult life - there is no way back to the childhood when you grow up; [TOEFL]

5 - It's good

Writing Feedbackpenguin7er - Sep 23, 2014
tienvo95
Sep 24, 2014
Studying at traditional schools, an individual can gain social skills as well as science information

5 - it's very nice of you! I am very happy to find this helpful forum with such nice guys like you!...

Writing Feedbacksahar_hmd1363 - Sep 24, 2014
sahar_hmd1363
Sep 24, 2014
Parenting training at school days [IELTS] [Essay2]

6 - My two cents: It looks more logical if we put a connection phrase "as a result" here...

Writing Feedbackamalxavier - Sep 22, 2014
zjxhz
Sep 24, 2014
A famous film star or sports personality enjoy the status of hero worship [IELTS Essay]

6 - @rythmboy, I was once told to leave an empty line between every line, I am not sure if it is a...

Writing Feedbackrythmboy - Sep 21, 2014
zjxhz
Sep 24, 2014
Factory treats the workers as machines and workers are suffering from the single and boring everyday

4 - i suggest u, to give statement are u disagree or agree with the statement theme and then u can explain it...

Writing FeedbackAdamtong - Sep 23, 2014
YULIS
Sep 24, 2014
Being a celebrity surely has some benefits but it also puts their lives in danger or other troubles

2 - Thank you so much! I will try my best to work on this.

Writing Feedbackjagsparrow - Sep 23, 2014
jagsparrow
Sep 24, 2014
UNC supplement- A time when I felt love

2 - I think it is a really good start of an essay. I like that you are sharing your experience with the...

Writing Feedbackasi677 - Sep 23, 2014
columbiagskiki
Sep 24, 2014
IELTS task 1 : GDP line graph

2 - Is my newest is accepteable, eddies ? GDP started at the point of $19 million in 2000 which had...

Writing FeedbackSHanafi - Sep 23, 2014
SHanafi
Sep 24, 2014
Manufacturing sector contributed most in the UK economy throughout the century.

1 - Hi! After reading your paragraph, I think you elaboration is adequate and valid. However, you should pay attention to some...

Writing Feedbackworstmanz - Sep 24, 2014
nicolezmh1997
Sep 24, 2014
Need a peer review for my essay about Deaf education options

2 - Your essay is good and you have solid points but maybe put in some personal experience or feelings if you have...

Writing Feedbackdldewey2 - Sep 22, 2014
texasbreed13
Sep 23, 2014
"Language helps teenagers navigate their comprehension of potential career paths"

2 - You might have to do some research on this topic because it is a little broad and maybe talk about how...

Writing FeedbackOminous1337 - Sep 23, 2014
texasbreed13
Sep 23, 2014
JAPAN; Talking about like and dislike, I would say that I prefer talking about things I like

1 - What is this essay for? It is good but also brief. Maybe you could expand on some of your points.

Writing FeedbackRND - Sep 23, 2014
texasbreed13
Sep 23, 2014
REED's ROME; the first time I ever...

2 - andre, it would really help us in reviewing your essay if you provided the prompt for this essay. That way we...

Writing Feedbackandre16 - Sep 23, 2014
vangiespen
Sep 23, 2014
Some think that teenagers are the happiest, others believe that adult life bring more more happiness

4 - [Link / Image / Video / Quote]

Writing Feedbackwilliam731 - Sep 23, 2014
YULIS
Sep 23, 2014
'is it necessary for children or not?' - Learning a foreign language [TOEFL]

5 - Yes, you are right. I missed the most important part of conclusions which was my opinion. Ohoom, I...

Writing Feedbackhamedmas - Sep 22, 2014
hamedmas
Sep 23, 2014
Critique essay about pro death penalty

1 - The essay topic is high interesting and controversial. I just have a question about the in-text citation, what format should it...

Writing Feedbackcpdphilippe - Sep 23, 2014
vangiespen
Sep 23, 2014
"Yes Scotland" - The Scottish Referendum

3 - Thanks a lot.

Writing Feedbackbora99 - Sep 17, 2014
bora99
Sep 23, 2014
'Television and vacuum cleaner were the most preferable durable items'; "Consumer Durables"; IELTS

4 - Thank you so much for the detailed feedback and time once again Eddy! i will definitely take your advice...

Writing Feedbackbrty - Sep 23, 2014
brty
Sep 23, 2014
Computer make us more productive or less happy and more stupid?

3 - I think the introduction should just bring out some background information and the thesis but it seems like you just go...

Writing Feedbackkajuthapa - Sep 22, 2014
william731
Sep 23, 2014
My Best Friend - I met her at "Young Pianist" Contest

4 - Harris, thank you very much for your help. I'm very grateful. Your corrections have really helped to make my essay better....

Writing FeedbackCatie Pak - Sep 22, 2014
Catie Pak
Sep 23, 2014
theme ::: > Eating a balanced diet is the most important factor for a healthy life.

1 - Organic food includes Meat and Vitamins can be found in meat as well. It would be better to write...

Writing FeedbackYULIS - Sep 22, 2014
william731
Sep 23, 2014
Learning from facts and implementing ideas and concepts appropriately are necessary

1 - I think "understand"and "learn" an idea are quit similiar You use "ideas and concepts" too often, we should...

Writing FeedbackKian1378 - Sep 22, 2014
william731
Sep 23, 2014
Making an Impact- Parsons Artist statement 2014

3 - thanks

Writing FeedbackMckenzieHarris - Sep 22, 2014
MckenzieHarris
Sep 22, 2014
The purpose of education is to prepare students to carry on our societal values

1 - A word is missing here. But aside from that, no we cannot help you improve! Your writing is...

Writing FeedbackRuthlessWalrus - Sep 22, 2014
EF_Kevin
Sep 22, 2014
Almost every new invention is somehow connected with the previous achievements in that field; GRE

4 - Try not shifting the focus in many directions and stay specific

Writing Feedbackxatutik - Sep 22, 2014
foxysoxgirl
Sep 22, 2014
Topic: Modern agriculture. Toefl exam!

3 - Apart from gramatical and construction errors, I think that this is a consistent piece of writing espicially for a TOEFL Essay.Keep...

Writing FeedbackAdamtong - Sep 21, 2014
RevtZ_hh
Sep 22, 2014
Are people bound to tell the truth at all times, or is it better to lie or tell partial truths?

1 - Lying, no matter the situation, -no matter in what situation is the epitome of perfect -perfectness- 33 years on...

Writing Feedbacksulynnn - Sep 22, 2014
sa1na
Sep 22, 2014
IELTS - The residents of Edmonton are especially keen on cars

6 - Firstly, it is clear that approximately half of all the people use cars, while around one-third preferred the light rail transit...

Writing FeedbackAlfred557 - Aug 17, 2014
SAM2014
Sep 22, 2014
[IELTS TASK 2] Young people should be under surveillance on parents' discipline

2 - You write well. However, you need slight improvements in order to meet main requirements. A few details to share: Paragraph...

Writing FeedbacktiaDS - Sep 21, 2014
eddies
Sep 22, 2014
IELTS: The pie charts indicate different percentages of expenditure on seven items

5 - The pie charts show the changing of the seven US expenditures in 1996. I am afraid that such information...

Writing Feedbackdigitalidea - Jul 25, 2014
SHanafi
Sep 21, 2014
Ielts: Just like different types of foods, different measures are required to improve public health

4 - Hi SAM2014.. Explanation about thesis statement, you can search via youtube.. Search Intorduction IELTS writing Task 2..:) Youtube is one...

Writing FeedbackSAM2014 - Sep 20, 2014
Mann_ms
Sep 21, 2014
With the humble attitude, we can earn the respect from others and relieve ourselves.; Toefl exam!

6 - Dear Pen. Thank you again.Reading your issue is more than improving the skill of using English,but also challenging my thoughts. we...

Writing FeedbackAdamtong - Sep 18, 2014
Adamtong
Sep 21, 2014
Describe a scene at a school canteen during recess.

1 - I believe in the first paragraph instead of some of the dots (like the last one), you can use (;). Also...

Writing FeedbackPamelyn Q - Sep 21, 2014
sa1na
Sep 21, 2014
Line graph; percentage of radio and television spectators around the clock in UK in year 1992

1 - Firstly, what a hard task. What is this task for? Besides, my tips : 1. I would prefer...

Writing FeedbackKsangha - Sep 21, 2014
sa1na
Sep 21, 2014
TOEFL: People benefit more from coming computers into their lives; pros outweigh cons

3 - Of course it is better to include some negative information too. However you should concentrate on your position and proving...

Writing Feedbackhamedmas - Sep 20, 2014
xatutik
Sep 21, 2014
GRE: The replacement of any leader should be considered individually

2 - Thanks Louisa, it is so pleasant to hear such a words from you :) I will revise my essay following your...

Writing Feedbackxatutik - Sep 20, 2014
xatutik
Sep 21, 2014
IELTS- celebrities set a bad example to young people?

1 - Sam, while your paper does have grammar errors, we can't begin to fix those until you have perfected the content of...

Writing FeedbackSAM2014 - Sep 21, 2014
vangiespen
Sep 21, 2014
Learning Economics? It's not only useful for high school students but also for all educated persons.

2 - thank you very much

Writing Feedbacknmshafie - Sep 19, 2014
nmshafie
Sep 21, 2014
IELTS: Writing Task 2- Crime in The World

3 - To sum up, crime still occurs almost in all parts of the globe. The crime happens with same cases even new...

Writing FeedbackMann_ms - Sep 20, 2014
SAM2014
Sep 21, 2014
"A little love, a little pain, a little work then it's all over" - DEATH

3 - I guess you write it by mobile phone or there are something wrong when you copy it from your file.

Writing Feedbackylarial - Sep 20, 2014
SAM2014
Sep 21, 2014
Increase in flights - IELTS WRITING TASK 2.

2 - Welcome Rakhmat! Let me see if I can help you out :-) - Such as? Mention some problems...

Writing FeedbackRakhmat - Sep 20, 2014
vangiespen
Sep 21, 2014
TOEFL: "My shy girlfriend" - people should be honest

11 - oh yeah:) thank you

Writing Feedbacknickyzhi - Sep 17, 2014
nickyzhi
Sep 21, 2014
TOEFL: The reasons of keeping our old friends

2 - Thank you for your suggestions. I wondered how the title has been changed to that sentence. The correct question is...

Writing Feedbackbeginner1010 - Sep 20, 2014
beginner1010
Sep 20, 2014
IELTS: Arts are crucial to government to gain successful incomes by some events

3 - You wrote well. Here I do a slight suggestion. I suggest you to omit "be" with the strong verbs to clear...

Writing FeedbackAnfalia - Sep 18, 2014
SHanafi
Sep 20, 2014
[IELTS Task 1] Strategic area for a new school in the town of Canterbury.

3 - Hello, tiaDS You made a little mistake, please separate your overview with the introduction. where is the place of...

Writing FeedbacktiaDS - Aug 28, 2014
SHanafi
Sep 20, 2014
IELTS: Climate change is a threat for the earth regardless of people's actions.

3 - I on his side, please put a space between your paragraph. This a bulky sentence and contain the...

Writing FeedbackAnfalia - Sep 19, 2014
SHanafi
Sep 20, 2014
Ielts: it is necessary that parents should be obliged to protect their offspring by vaccination

8 - Breaking your idea here into some sentences.. A possible suggestion A medical research proves that children with the...

Writing Feedbackthu van nguyen - Aug 9, 2014
SHanafi
Sep 20, 2014
IELTS: Regulation regarding advertisements' unnecessary impact on people's lives

6 - It doesn't give any value to your conclusion. I am too keen using a conclusion signal. Probably you can use...

Writing Feedbackamalxavier - Aug 20, 2014
SHanafi
Sep 20, 2014
The factor of sense of fulfillment is more important than the factor of salary; Mother Teresa

1 - Many people prefer a job with high salary. Although the salary is one of the important factors to a good job,...

Writing Feedbackwahdee489 - Sep 20, 2014
beginner1010
Sep 20, 2014
I went to Thailand this summer for a school service trip - Narrative Essay

6 - For the first sentence, instead of directly restating the question, try to change it so that you are answering...

Writing FeedbackGilchrist2014 - Sep 16, 2014
m924
Sep 20, 2014
"Treaty No.7" - The TV show that I like the most

1 - hey neoy, There are some clear faults in your grammar, I'll pick it out :) how about...

Writing Feedbacknguyentuandhmdc - Sep 20, 2014
nickyzhi
Sep 20, 2014
'The argument draws conclusion based on poor and insufficient information'; "Woven baskets"

4 - So familiar with the prompt, because I just pass my GRE exam several months ago. I have some good review...

Writing Feedbackxatutik - Sep 19, 2014
nickyzhi
Sep 20, 2014
IELTS: Balance Diet; people should pay attention to other aspects for their health

3 - My promt is "Eating a balance diet is the most important factor for a health life" To what extent do...

Writing FeedbackMann_ms - Sep 19, 2014
Mann_ms
Sep 20, 2014
GRE issue- Should society try to save every plant and animal species regardless of needed resources?

1 - Hi Dunguyen, your essay is pretty good. Your position and reasoning are clear and logical. adapt to environmental...

Writing Feedbackdunguyen - Sep 19, 2014
xatutik
Sep 20, 2014
It is vital for arts to have prolific conditions to thrive and be accessible for people

6 - some fields if I'm not mistaken it should be plural. good luck! :)

Writing Feedbackxatutik - Sep 18, 2014
Anfalia
Sep 20, 2014
Keeping dogs and cats as companion. How it influences ownership and the community?

3 - in the fact, pets not only can be friendly animal but also dangerous for people. the parallel structure between...

Writing FeedbackYULIS - Sep 19, 2014
Anfalia
Sep 20, 2014
Life is easier? Positive view about everything always help us for having a good life in every times.

2 - To write an introductory paragraph, you have to show background information and thesis. For this moment, you did. Yet, we...

Writing FeedbackKian1378 - Sep 19, 2014
eddies
Sep 20, 2014
IELTS: Without communication technology and transport, the foundation of modern life will crumple

1 - - Solid introduction with a good thesis statement. This essay is off to a very good start. However, I seem...

Writing Feedbackcy20070324 - Sep 19, 2014
vangiespen
Sep 19, 2014
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