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Writing Feedback


Need advice on improving TOEFL, SAT, GRE and other academic essays?
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IELTS: Reading books has more benefits in development of imagination and language skills

5 - Equally importantly, reading is a better way to widen the depth of one's language skills. (the words you use in sentences...

Writing Feedbacktimexironman - Aug 22, 2014
dumi
01:42am
All kinds of medical health expenditures should be borne by the government; do you agree or not .

1 - There are grammatical errors that need to be corrected in the essay. However, I assume that this is the first draft...

Writing FeedbackAshikk - 01:14am
vangiespen
01:34am
IELTS: 'various jobs can't be limited to a gender'; more women are taking over traditional male work

4 - In the present-day society, an increasing number of jobs which were more appropriate for men in the past are taking control...

Writing Feedbackstephy7658 - Aug 27, 2014
dumi
01:13am
TOEFL: Some students live in their hometowns, but others in different cities - which do you like?

7 - In addition , living in different cities or towns will let people have brand-new new and more diverse experiences and also...

Writing Feedbackkathyt - Aug 17, 2014
dumi
01:09am
In order to become financially responsible adults, children should learn to manage their own money..

3 - This sounds a bit stereotype beginning. You should make it more interesting for the reader :) It is important...

Writing FeedbackEric0511 - Yesterday
dumi
01:03am
IELTS Task 2: What can be done to maintain biodiversity ?

7 - With the requirements from industry, economy, and the development of population, humans have harnessed from nature in most unkind methods. Well,...

Writing Feedbacknguoi_co_doc - Aug 31, 2014
dumi
12:59am
IELTS - 'Teachers are the second parents in the school' - RESPONSIBILITY FOR TEACHING

8 - Teachers are the like our second parents who spend a significant time with us in the school. I feel...

Writing Feedbackbarbie_M - Aug 28, 2014
dumi
12:53am
IELTS: New technologies and ways of buying and selling are transforming to the lives of consumers.

5 - Due to the ongoing advances rapid advancement of the technology revolution, there have been many profound chances in and...

Writing Feedbacknguoi_co_doc - Yesterday
dumi
12:45am
IELTS: Children always follow their parents rules and techniques to save money for future planning

3 - I'd like to add my voice to this discussion by offering some advice as well :-) I believe that you could...

Writing Feedbackblue eyes - Aug 31, 2014
vangiespen
12:44am
Ielts - Museums and art galleries be free of charge for the general public

4 - On the other side, some people believe that there should be minimal admittance admission fee. Entry to museums cannot should...

Writing Feedbackswathi_12345 - Aug 30, 2014
dumi
12:18am
Internet is just a tool based on different inventions such as the computer, electricity and language

4 - You begin your essay with expressing your opinion on the issue. It is better if you first introduced your topic...

Writing Feedbackcamilourac - Yesterday
dumi
12:02am
Increasing Crime And Solutions For Governments - IELTS task 2

2 - For one, First, unemployment is one of the reasons that can drive people to commit a range of both violent and...

Writing Feedbackjoe9 - Yesterday
dumi
Yesterday
"One more stab to the heart, one more reason to hate, one less reason to live"

3 - If I were the examiner who read this paper, I would give it an 8 based on the reasons that I...

Writing FeedbackAnouar - Yesterday
vangiespen
Yesterday
IELTS: Strict regulations can effectively reduce the problem of overfishing by large corporations

3 - ......... Well, I think you could present the latter part in a more creative way. This sounds a bit too stereotype....

Writing Feedbackmvettri - Yesterday
Pahan
Yesterday
Ignoring what others' think and others' opinions is clearly the more successful path in life

8 - Ok. I already left feedback earlier about the shortcomings of your essay. I will not repeat it in great detail anymore...

Writing FeedbackAnouar - Aug 31, 2014
vangiespen
Yesterday
How important is to seek the opinions of others when making significant personal decisions ?

4 - Thank you for help I will make up my mind to rewrite the essay Please any other marks out of 12...

Writing FeedbackAnouar - Aug 30, 2014
Anouar
Yesterday
Bad memories leaves scars in the heart.

4 - Attached on merging: Do memories hinder or help people in their effort to learn from the past and succeed in...

Writing FeedbackAnouar - Aug 20, 2014
Anouar
Yesterday
IGCSE ; Comparitive Essay ( Big Supermarket Vs Local Shops)

3 - This version is most certainly much improved over the first one. It now reflects all sides of the argument and carries...

Writing FeedbackLam97 - Aug 31, 2014
vangiespen
Aug 31, 2014
Writing is one of the things I used to hate the most - My first Reflective essay

4 - Just a few grammatical errors: -... when I entered the IPG ... - I enjoyed doing the...

Writing Feedbackaizuddin - Aug 24, 2014
vangiespen
Aug 31, 2014
IELTS - the best factor to measure the status of a country is its standard of education.

4 - The essay asks what other factors should be considered when measuring a country's success. You mentioned the education as a pivotal...

Writing FeedbackPyon9x - Aug 30, 2014
vangiespen
Aug 31, 2014
Ielts 2- Rise in crimes committed by young people in cities

4 - => i think you could replace the word "rise" with increase or growth so that you'll avoid copying from the...

Writing Feedbackswathi_12345 - Aug 30, 2014
Pyon9x
Aug 30, 2014
IELTS: Issue regarding the real efficiency of examinations using pen and paper

3 - overal, your flexical source is very good :D especicially for a foreign learner, i learnt lots of new vocab from reading...

Writing Feedbacknguoi_co_doc - Aug 29, 2014
Pyon9x
Aug 30, 2014
IELTS : rural to major city : challenges and strategies?

7 - Have you ever been distant away from your hometown? Moving to new places and involving in new environment may bring about...

Writing FeedbackPyon9x - Aug 28, 2014
nguoi_co_doc
Aug 30, 2014
GRE - Impossible to make a significant contribution without strongly influenced by past achievements

2 - Hi vangiespen, Thank you so much for all corrections! I am writing this essay again based on your suggestions. Hope...

Writing Feedbackdunguyen - Aug 30, 2014
dunguyen
Aug 30, 2014
What is one important "easy answer" that we should resist? what dangerous misconceptions hold?

6 - it's an SAT essay thanks for correcting my mistakes and for analyzing my faults Actually I am an unternational student...

Writing FeedbackAnouar - Aug 23, 2014
Anouar
Aug 30, 2014
TOEFL A/D: Companies should use money to reward their employees rather than use public recognition

3 - First and foremost, money is the best more rewarding to people than public recognition because it let people do what they...

Writing Feedbackhappyhappy120 - Aug 30, 2014
niesaysi
Aug 30, 2014
[IELTS Task 1] the number of population in three different countries - biggest in Washington

3 - The introduction is too bulky. Why don't you start writing this: The line graph shows a large portion...

Writing FeedbacktiaDS - Aug 28, 2014
eddies
Aug 30, 2014
[IELTS Task 1] The proportion of energy from coal

3 - A closer look at the data reveals that the percentage of coal energy which is (This brings a problem, in...

Writing FeedbacktiaDS - Aug 28, 2014
eddies
Aug 30, 2014
People nowadays don't spend too much time on their personal enjoyment because they can't - TPO

5 - some favorite books which are Recent advances in technologies In conclusion, people... Always write...

Writing Feedbacksircampbell - Aug 24, 2014
eddies
Aug 30, 2014
Nowadays, there is change in the way people interact because of technology

3 - Thanks a lot for the reply, its very helpful.

Writing Feedbackswathi_12345 - Aug 29, 2014
swathi_12345
Aug 30, 2014
IELTS TASK 2: Modern Stress - relating factors and potential measures

2 - Your comment is very detailed, it is really useful for me as I can realize my numerous errors. Thanks you...

Writing Feedbackvincentfreeman - Aug 29, 2014
vincentfreeman
Aug 29, 2014
IELTS: Gentle manners vs Material possessions.

6 - "In conclusion, I believe that the value of kindness outweighs any material possession and keeps being the most important achievement of...

Writing FeedbackAbdurasul - Aug 19, 2014
yazoo
Aug 29, 2014
The most important trait of a person as a close friend is reliability.

4 - Thank you Dear vangiespen You also help me in the previous essays. I do not know how to appreciate. I...

Writing Feedbackhamedmas - Aug 28, 2014
hamedmas
Aug 29, 2014
IELTS: the figure reflect equally in subjects related to service community; foreign and UK students

3 - Thanks your feedback so much, my friend.

Writing Feedbacknguoi_co_doc - Aug 7, 2014
nguoi_co_doc
Aug 29, 2014
[IELTS Task 2] Technologies have suggested everyone in the world.

3 - Hi TiaDS, You misunderstood me. In this particular essay, you are being required to use your personal opinion so you...

Writing FeedbacktiaDS - Aug 28, 2014
vangiespen
Aug 28, 2014
[IELTS Task 1] Strategic area for a new school in the town of Canterbury.

1 - Here are a few tips for better wording this essay: - where two areas are connected......

Writing FeedbacktiaDS - Aug 28, 2014
vangiespen
Aug 28, 2014
Doing activities in a short time or live life in slow pace?

3 - Time is gold => a good hook to me :) It seems to me that every moment of...

Writing Feedbackhamedmas - Aug 27, 2014
Pyon9x
Aug 28, 2014
Work and travel for a year? - do not forget to read enough books and improve your knowledge

8 - Vangiespan, good advises, try to put them into practice. P.s. I'm new here, but this is an awesome forum!...

Writing FeedbackGaziF - Aug 27, 2014
GaziF
Aug 28, 2014
IELTS : intelligent machines replacing human beings : advantages and disadvantages

4 - Pyon9x, you can talk about Henry Ford and how he decided that creating a factory line would make cars more affordable...

Writing FeedbackPyon9x - Aug 27, 2014
vangiespen
Aug 27, 2014
No one understands you more than yourself, so do not waste too much time trying to be someone else

5 - Well, the TOEFL is more for American studies while the IETLS is for Canadian/British/Australian studies. So it really depends upon whether...

Writing Feedbackjackthomas - Aug 27, 2014
vangiespen
Aug 27, 2014
Retail cashier job - my very first job experience

1 - Before I begin, I have a question. What is the essay supposed to be about? Is it about an experience of...

Writing Feedbackmrszlexilandero - Aug 27, 2014
anthonysw
Aug 27, 2014
IELTS : The examination for alternative energy sources : beneficial or harmful?

6 - Ok...... you are correct - I can see it needs more explanation, my mistake :( ....... Here how...

Writing FeedbackPyon9x - Aug 25, 2014
dumi
Aug 27, 2014
'we should restore the time devoted to weather and local news to its former level' - GRE essay

3 - Cancellation is singular form. Since you are talking about more than one advertisement being cancelled, it goes into plural form. The...

Writing FeedbackMysoon - Aug 26, 2014
vangiespen
Aug 26, 2014
Arts and public services are both important to the community and should be invested properly - IELTS

10 - I have just found it on Appstore and installing it, It seems good as it has 4.5/5 star. Thanks for your...

Writing Feedbackvincentfreeman - Aug 25, 2014
vincentfreeman
Aug 26, 2014
Ielts: Modern technology has impacted the traditional cultures in both negative and positive ways.

8 - Thank you very much my bro. I am pretty sure that I will need your help. I will follow your advice...

Writing Feedbackvincentfreeman - Aug 25, 2014
vincentfreeman
Aug 26, 2014
Ielts: Is it necessary to teach children handwriting?

6 - Despite the convenience from up-to-date facilities of using high tech methods in writing , handwriting still plays a vital role in...

Writing Feedbackningo - Jul 30, 2014
dumi
Aug 26, 2014
GRE essay: Many important discoveries or creations are accidental

2 - This is not a strong hook as it does not contain much meaning :( Some people would argue that...

Writing Feedbackasdsa111 - Aug 14, 2014
dumi
Aug 26, 2014
Internet will help student only if he has a desire to study

5 - This is not a strong hook to open your essay. Your first sentence of the essay is a very important...

Writing Feedbackrassul - Aug 3, 2014
dumi
Aug 26, 2014
[TOEFL] Every experience always gives us something to learn and keep for life

4 - I think you need to fine tune your approach on the introduction. You should have introduced the issue to the...

Writing Feedbacksky2586 - Aug 2, 2014
dumi
Aug 26, 2014
Ielts writing task1 - percentages of population and wealth in world

4 - Well, if this is for IELTS TASK1, you should have uploaded your graphs to enable us providing you with more meaningful...

Writing Feedbackhandsome7boy - Aug 9, 2014
dumi
Aug 26, 2014
What God thinks about it? - Why cosmetic surgery must be banned

2 - Many people believe that cosmetic surgeries help them strengthen their relationships and pave the for a happier life. However,...

Writing Feedbackgerrard - Aug 17, 2014
dumi
Aug 26, 2014
The bar chart shows the amount of sales in silver goods in 000's of units for two companies nextyear

3 - Yes, you need to upload the image. Use the "Attach file(s)" feature in the Message Block to upload your image...

Writing FeedbackGulnar604 - Jul 30, 2014
dumi
Aug 26, 2014
Computer skills reassure the future work-life - is it good to use computers from primary school age?

2 - In modern world, the knowledge and skills in computer science is an indispensable requirement. I think your essay reads...

Writing Feedbackparand - Aug 6, 2014
dumi
Aug 26, 2014
IELTS writing part 1. Popularuty of on-line purchases in different countries.

4 - Thank you for the feedback! Will work on that!

Writing FeedbackLenaKuzn - Aug 26, 2014
LenaKuzn
Aug 26, 2014
toefl: multiple short breaks are good for children to do well in their school life

2 - Well, I think you should have chosen only one of these two ideas to begin your essay. The opening sentence,...

Writing Feedbacksayes - Aug 6, 2014
dumi
Aug 26, 2014
IELTS: The tax reduction of state school for parents who have children studying in private system

3 - Firstly, by paying taxes for in support of public schools, affluent people are forced to effectively contribute to narrowing down the...

Writing FeedbackAnh Nguyen 265 - Aug 7, 2014
dumi
Aug 26, 2014
'I'm really keen on cook since I was a little girl' - Describe a hobby

2 - I'm really keen on cooking since I was a little girl. I usually learn how to cook by searching the...

Writing FeedbackJanice yang - Aug 25, 2014
Pahan
Aug 25, 2014
Internet and TV have a greater influence over people's lives than politicians. Do u agree?

11 - I think your best bet is to change your point of view or the way you approach your essay. It is...

Writing Feedbackd96nguyen - Aug 25, 2014
ruffruff999
Aug 25, 2014
IELTS: 'Women absolutely dominate in two fields' - male and female teachers

6 - Nice paragraph! I really admire your writing skills despite some errors as mentioned above

Writing Feedbackmilamiller - Aug 16, 2014
vincentfreeman
Aug 25, 2014
TOEFL: It is more important to use available land for farmland, housing, and industry.

3 - ..... you are welcome :) First, the population of the Earth has been increasing steadily, and people need new...

Writing FeedbackVadimKlimenko - Aug 1, 2014
dumi
Aug 25, 2014
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