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Writing Feedback


Need advice on improving TOEFL, SAT, GRE and other academic essays?
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Work and travel for a year? - do not forget to read enough books and improve your knowledge

8 - Vangiespan, good advises, try to put them into practice. P.s. I'm new here, but this is an awesome forum!...

Writing FeedbackGaziF - Yesterday
GaziF
07:54am
IELTS: Gentle manners vs Material possessions.

3 - The way I see it, you need to expand more on the end part where you finally begin to discuss your...

Writing FeedbackAbdurasul - Aug 19, 2014
vangiespen
07:34am
IELTS : intelligent machines replacing human beings : advantages and disadvantages

4 - Pyon9x, you can talk about Henry Ford and how he decided that creating a factory line would make cars more affordable...

Writing FeedbackPyon9x - Yesterday
vangiespen
Yesterday
No one understands you more than yourself, so do not waste too much time trying to be someone else

5 - Well, the TOEFL is more for American studies while the IETLS is for Canadian/British/Australian studies. So it really depends upon whether...

Writing Feedbackjackthomas - Yesterday
vangiespen
Yesterday
IELTS: 'various jobs can't be limited to a gender'; more women are taking over traditional male work

3 - excuse me but i get confused here... as i saw from the topic, they ask you to answer Why do...

Writing Feedbackstephy7658 - Yesterday
Pyon9x
Yesterday
Doing activities in a short time or live life in slow pace?

2 - thank you Gazif I think while is used with a subject and a verb and during is a...

Writing Feedbackhamedmas - Yesterday
hamedmas
Yesterday
Retail cashier job - my very first job experience

1 - Before I begin, I have a question. What is the essay supposed to be about? Is it about an experience of...

Writing Feedbackmrszlexilandero - Yesterday
anthonysw
Yesterday
IELTS : The examination for alternative energy sources : beneficial or harmful?

6 - Ok...... you are correct - I can see it needs more explanation, my mistake :( ....... Here how...

Writing FeedbackPyon9x - Aug 25, 2014
dumi
Yesterday
'we should restore the time devoted to weather and local news to its former level' - GRE essay

3 - Cancellation is singular form. Since you are talking about more than one advertisement being cancelled, it goes into plural form. The...

Writing FeedbackMysoon - Aug 26, 2014
vangiespen
Aug 26, 2014
Arts and public services are both important to the community and should be invested properly - IELTS

10 - I have just found it on Appstore and installing it, It seems good as it has 4.5/5 star. Thanks for your...

Writing Feedbackvincentfreeman - Aug 25, 2014
vincentfreeman
Aug 26, 2014
Ielts: Modern technogy has impacted the traditional cultures in both negative and positive ways.

8 - Thank you very much my bro. I am pretty sure that I will need your help. I will follow your advice...

Writing Feedbackvincentfreeman - Aug 25, 2014
vincentfreeman
Aug 26, 2014
Ielts: Is it necessary to teach children handwriting?

6 - Despite the convenience from up-to-date facilities of using high tech methods in writing , handwriting still plays a vital role in...

Writing Feedbackningo - Jul 30, 2014
dumi
Aug 26, 2014
GRE essay: Many important discoveries or creations are accidental

2 - This is not a strong hook as it does not contain much meaning :( Some people would argue that...

Writing Feedbackasdsa111 - Aug 14, 2014
dumi
Aug 26, 2014
Internet will help student only if he has a desire to study

5 - This is not a strong hook to open your essay. Your first sentence of the essay is a very important...

Writing Feedbackrassul - Aug 3, 2014
dumi
Aug 26, 2014
[TOEFL] Every experience always gives us something to learn and keep for life

4 - I think you need to fine tune your approach on the introduction. You should have introduced the issue to the...

Writing Feedbacksky2586 - Aug 2, 2014
dumi
Aug 26, 2014
Ielts writing task1 - percentages of population and wealth in world

4 - Well, if this is for IELTS TASK1, you should have uploaded your graphs to enable us providing you with more meaningful...

Writing Feedbackhandsome7boy - Aug 9, 2014
dumi
Aug 26, 2014
What God thinks about it? - Why cosmetic surgery must be banned

2 - Many people believe that cosmetic surgeries help them strengthen their relationships and pave the for a happier life. However,...

Writing Feedbackgerrard - Aug 17, 2014
dumi
Aug 26, 2014
The bar chart shows the amount of sales in silver goods in 000's of units for two companies nextyear

3 - Yes, you need to upload the image. Use the "Attach file(s)" feature in the Message Block to upload your image...

Writing FeedbackGulnar604 - Jul 30, 2014
dumi
Aug 26, 2014
Computer skills reassure the future work-life - is it good to use computers from primary school age?

2 - In modern world, the knowledge and skills in computer science is an indispensable requirement. I think your essay reads...

Writing Feedbackparand - Aug 6, 2014
dumi
Aug 26, 2014
IELTS writing part 1. Popularuty of on-line purchases in different countries.

4 - Thank you for the feedback! Will work on that!

Writing FeedbackLenaKuzn - Aug 26, 2014
LenaKuzn
Aug 26, 2014
toefl: multiple short breaks are good for children to do well in their school life

2 - Well, I think you should have chosen only one of these two ideas to begin your essay. The opening sentence,...

Writing Feedbacksayes - Aug 6, 2014
dumi
Aug 26, 2014
IELTS: The tax reduction of state school for parents who have children studying in private system

3 - Firstly, by paying taxes for in support of public schools, affluent people are forced to effectively contribute to narrowing down the...

Writing FeedbackAnh Nguyen 265 - Aug 7, 2014
dumi
Aug 26, 2014
'I'm really keen on cook since I was a little girl' - Describe a hobby

2 - I'm really keen on cooking since I was a little girl. I usually learn how to cook by searching the...

Writing FeedbackJanice yang - Aug 25, 2014
Pahan
Aug 25, 2014
IELTS: Reading books has more benefits in development of imagination and language skills

4 - Equally importantly, reading is a better way to widen the depth of one's language skills. Although television is so attractive due...

Writing Feedbacktimexironman - Aug 22, 2014
Pahan
Aug 25, 2014
People nowadays don't spend too much time on their personal enjoyment because they can't - TPO

4 - i really greatly appreciate your kind feedback, many thanks.

Writing Feedbacksircampbell - Aug 24, 2014
sircampbell
Aug 25, 2014
Internet and TV have a greater influence over people's lives than politicians. Do u agree?

11 - I think your best bet is to change your point of view or the way you approach your essay. It is...

Writing Feedbackd96nguyen - Aug 25, 2014
ruffruff999
Aug 25, 2014
IELTS: 'Women absolutely dominate in two fields' - male and female teachers

6 - Nice paragraph! I really admire your writing skills despite some errors as mentioned above

Writing Feedbackmilamiller - Aug 16, 2014
vincentfreeman
Aug 25, 2014
TOEFL: It is more important to use available land for farmland, housing, and industry.

3 - ..... you are welcome :) First, the population of the Earth has been increasing steadily, and people need new...

Writing FeedbackVadimKlimenko - Aug 1, 2014
dumi
Aug 25, 2014
Toefl: people judge others by external appearance but is better also to consider the inner qualities

5 - Alright :) Judge[font#FF0000]ment based on external appearance is not a good way to figure out the background of...

Writing Feedbackhamedmas - Aug 22, 2014
dumi
Aug 25, 2014
'there will be more equipment and we will be dependent on them' - conveniences vs development

2 - We might say that because of new technology we have become more machine dependent and have lost deteriorated our ability to...

Writing Feedbackpinaksalvekar - Aug 25, 2014
niesaysi
Aug 25, 2014
TOEFL: Some students live in their hometowns, but others in different cities - which do you like?

6 - Thank you so much for your patience!!! I'll try to make it simple !!

Writing Feedbackkathyt - Aug 17, 2014
kathyt
Aug 25, 2014
Contemporary life prevent people from developing into strong and independent individual - Gre Issue

5 - nice essay, examples should be more clear.

Writing FeedbackNinad09 - Aug 22, 2014
pinaksalvekar
Aug 25, 2014
Toefl: It should be mandatory for every company to substitute their old equipment with new ones.

5 - Dear eddies. Thank you a lot. I learnt many things from your advice.

Writing Feedbackhamedmas - Aug 21, 2014
hamedmas
Aug 25, 2014
TOEFL: 'friendly and good at cooking person' - the important qualities of a good roommate.

2 - Finding a good roommate who are is suitable, who can share my emotions (I like if you replace this word...

Writing Feedbacktoannguyen - Aug 13, 2014
dumi
Aug 25, 2014
What is one important "easy answer" that we should resist? what dangerous misconceptions hold?

5 - The experience of Google's co-founder Lawrence Page, illustrates that the majority don't does not always represent the truth. One of the...

Writing FeedbackAnouar - Aug 23, 2014
dumi
Aug 25, 2014
TOEFL: 'joining sport team' - the best way for students to make new friends?

2 - Thanks a lot!

Writing FeedbackPenny Chou - Aug 24, 2014
Penny Chou
Aug 24, 2014
"Closing My Eyes" - driving on the expressway at night - PLACE YOU FEEL CONTENT...

3 - I definitely think you should start over. I suggest that you outline the reasons you feel content in your car before...

Writing FeedbackIyeshaferguson - Aug 24, 2014
vangiespen
Aug 24, 2014
TOEFL - people are way more disparate at the exterior contrary to what they are inside

3 - I think you need to pay more attention to the approach. Your essay does not contain a good introduction which introduces...

Writing Feedbackshreyansh13 - Jul 28, 2014
dumi
Aug 24, 2014
Why study? Knowledge, experience and career are essential for today's young people to concentrate on

4 - It is clear obvious that knowledge is an important key which leads to success. Most people believe that university and college...

Writing Feedbackd96nguyen - Aug 24, 2014
dumi
Aug 24, 2014
Some people say that success is "10 percent talent and 90 percent hard work"

5 - I find this sentence very very confusing. You need to pay lots of attention to clarity of your sentences. It...

Writing FeedbackKatyDao - Jun 10, 2014
Pahan
Aug 24, 2014
IELTS: 'economic, diplomacy, and environmental' - most popular career choices for youth in Indonesia

5 - After analize analyzing the Indonesian condition among preferences for three popular careers in Indonesiaabove, I believe that diplomacy will be...

Writing Feedbackfadlanmuzakki - Aug 13, 2014
Pahan
Aug 24, 2014
TOEFL: Some people prefer to play team sports, while others prefer to play individual sports.

3 - As I set my eyes on your essay, what I noticed was that your first body para is pretty big while...

Writing FeedbackVadimKlimenko - Aug 4, 2014
Pahan
Aug 24, 2014
TOEFL: new factory will enhance the quality of life and our town's image promotion

3 - Some people who disagree with the idea of building of the factory argued argue (keep it in present tense as your...

Writing FeedbackMckenzie - Aug 10, 2014
Pahan
Aug 24, 2014
GRE - Issue task - People should undertake risky action only after they consider its consequences.

4 - Thank you D! It really helps that you clearly mention what the problem is, and I also think the supporting ideas...

Writing FeedbackLauren5102 - Aug 20, 2014
Lauren5102
Aug 24, 2014
Writing is one of the things I used to hate the most - My first Reflective essay

1 - You were really able to express yourself well in this essay even though you are not a native English speaker. For...

Writing Feedbackaizuddin - Aug 24, 2014
vangiespen
Aug 24, 2014
IELTS: public transportation and more flyovers as a solution for traffic congestion

5 - @dumi, eddies, Shinigami97 : thank you a lots for correcting me ^^

Writing FeedbackPyon9x - Aug 22, 2014
Pyon9x
Aug 24, 2014
NUCLEAR TECHNOLOGY: The threat of nuclear weapons maintains world peace.

3 - Nuclear technology is a much debated heated issue topic. Some people think that there are several benefits to use nuclear power...

Writing FeedbackDuong68 - Aug 13, 2014
dumi
Aug 24, 2014
IELTS - The residents of Edmonton are especially keen on cars

4 - The pie chart compares the percentages of different modes of transportation used in Edmonton. Whilst while the table illustrates the...

Writing FeedbackAlfred557 - Aug 17, 2014
dumi
Aug 24, 2014
IELTS: 'bring happiness to my nearest and dearest' - which salary would be better?

3 - I too agree with Pahan. You display good writing skills, good grammar, vocabulary knowledge, sentence structures etc. What you...

Writing Feedbackdiidoobiib - Aug 23, 2014
dumi
Aug 24, 2014
Ielts - fast food is good or bad?

10 - One the On one hand, most of the fast food restaurants offer affordable meals.With-increasing cost living,people tend to opt cheaper...

Writing FeedbackHelpmeet - Jun 6, 2014
dumi
Aug 24, 2014
TOEFL -advices from senior people are more valuable than from people at our age

4 - I feel you have uploaded a wrong topic for this essay .......... I cannot find any relevance between that and...

Writing Feedbackjamie3160003 - Jul 1, 2014
dumi
Aug 24, 2014
TOEFL: 'ancient people lived a natural life' - Now it's easier to maintain health

6 - Furthermore, modern people enjoys enjoy (people is a plural noun ) a better quality life, and a smarter life. Personal experiences...

Writing FeedbackStevenKuang - Jul 30, 2014
dumi
Aug 23, 2014
IELTS TASK 2: WOMEN AND MEN EXCLUDED FROM SPECIFIC JOBS ?

2 - Your idea is not very clearly conveyed here............ I think you should rephrase this sentence to enhance its clarity; On...

Writing FeedbackShinigami97 - Aug 22, 2014
dumi
Aug 23, 2014
'new and exciting sport should be welcomed' - IELTS: Essay on whether to ban dangerous sports

1 - Very good essay so far. Here are my grammar suggestions: "should let people do what they want yet put them...

Writing Feedbackthanhthanhdo10 - Aug 23, 2014
yazoo
Aug 23, 2014
Learn variety of cultures, traditions by engaging with local people and visiting historical places

1 - Your writing is great! It's hard to find an error. So I will tell you how to improve...

Writing Feedbacklatkhan - Aug 22, 2014
EF_Kevin
Aug 23, 2014
Bad memories leaves scars in the heart.

3 - .I agree that memories hinder one to learn past ans success in the future CORRECT IS I agree that memories hinder...

Writing FeedbackAnouar - Aug 20, 2014
sadia22
Aug 23, 2014
IELTS: 'opportunity to be healthier physically and mentally' - Children are given too much free time

6 - I think you need more analysis to strongly support your idea As for Grammar it's quite good

Writing FeedbackSaadhin - Aug 19, 2014
Anouar
Aug 23, 2014
IELTS - dramatic increase in the number of Japanese people travelling abroad - Bar chart, Line Graph

5 - Thank Dumi, Eddies, and Pyon9x so much. I will try to understand and fix my mistakes now. Then I will try...

Writing Feedbackviolethoang - Aug 21, 2014
violethoang
Aug 23, 2014
IELTS: The increasing demand for oil and gas has made it necessary to look for these sources

3 - Thank you for the suggestions, and I will practice more and harder.

Writing Feedbackdigitalidea - Aug 6, 2014
digitalidea
Aug 23, 2014
IELTS - Compulsory voluntary work is a contradiction, and not only in a literal way

4 - On one hand, the purpose of community service or any form of voluntary work is a question still up open for...

Writing FeedbackBurguete - Jul 27, 2014
Pahan
Aug 23, 2014
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