Unanswered [17] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Undergraduate   % width Posts: 5


My work in WIC didn't shake the world, or even cause a tremor. And yet, I am proud. Columbia essay


FullofSeoul 3 / 18 3  
Dec 22, 2014   #1
Which activity located in the Activity Section of the Common Application are you most proud of and why? (150 word limit)

Growing up, 'WIC' was a common houseguest. My mother received it for my younger brother, and my father worked at the state office. So come freshman year, I gave my part and volunteered at the local city WIC clinic.

[...]
vangiespen - / 4,134 1449  
Dec 23, 2014   #2
With only 150 words, it is quite difficult to get everything that you need to say in there. I must insist however, that you find a way to include a brief explanation as to what WIC stands for and what its objectives are before you explain to us why it is a fixture in your household and why you are proud of your accomplishments there. Never assume that your reader is already familiar with the acronyms you are using. Try to present a simple explanation about it just in case the person assigned to your application has never heard of WIC before. It never hurts to cover all the bases :-) I'll be glad to help you trim the word count once you have inserted the quick edit that I am suggesting. That is, if you want to consider and include it :-)
chestnuto 2 / 9 3  
Dec 23, 2014   #3
Yes I agree with vangiespen, you should write down at least once what 'WIC' stands for. Without it I'm having a hard time to guess the ideas you are trying to express. The rest parts seems find to me. I can sense you passion for this internship experience.

If any, I would suggest you to dig deeper and put more emphasis on you reflections through this activity. But I gotta admit it's really hard to get so much ideas across with such a short length tho. :)
OP FullofSeoul 3 / 18 3  
Dec 24, 2014   #4
Thank you, both of you!

Here is a slightly edited version. I added a short blurb explaining WIC, so it currently stands at 171 words.


Growing up, WIC (Women, Infant, Children), a governmental program to provide healthcare and nutrition to 'Women, Infant, and Children', was a common houseguest. My mother received it for my younger brother, and my father worked at the state office. So come freshman year, I volunteered at the local city WIC clinic.

And although my work was regular, it was also profoundly satisfying. As an intern, I was not restrained to any one department, and could interact more personally with members of the staff. Every time I returned an updated WIC folder, contents filled with food checks, or aided the dietitians with infant checkups, the raw gratitude on the faces of the WIC recipients surprised me. It amazed me that my small actions would have rippling effects on the lives of these people.

My work in WIC was nothing earthshattering, but to a few, it created waves. I had cultivated intimate relationships with those in the office and touched, however briefly, the lives of countless others. And for that, I am proud.

How's this?
vangiespen - / 4,134 1449  
Dec 26, 2014   #5
How is this for a 149 word version?

Growing up, WIC (Women, Infant, Children), a governmental program to provide healthcare and nutrition was a common houseguest. My mother received it for my younger brother, and my father worked at the state office. So come freshman year, I volunteered at the local city WIC clinic.

My work was profoundly satisfying. As an intern, I was not restrained to any one department, and could interact with members of the staff. Every time I returned an updated WIC folder, contents filled with food checks, or aided the dietitians with infant checkups, the raw gratitude on the faces of the WIC recipients surprised me. My small actions had rippling effects on the lives of these people.

My work in WIC was nothing earthshattering, but it created waves. I had cultivated intimate relationships with those in the office and touched, however briefly, the lives of countless others. For that, I am proud.


Feel free to use it if you wish :-)


Home / Undergraduate / My work in WIC didn't shake the world, or even cause a tremor. And yet, I am proud. Columbia essay
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳