There's a difference between being busy and being engaged. Lafayette comes alive each day with the energy of students who are deeply engaged in their academic, co-curricular and extracurricular explorations. In response to the prompt below, keep it simple - choose one activity and add depth to our understanding of your involvement.
````````` Scholarship, Service, Leadership, and Character, the four pillars that have helped shape the individual I am today. The Arista National Honor Society has been my backbone since sophomore year helping me lead, serve, excel and succeed. My biggest goal throughout high school was to be part of something bigger than myself, something that not only I was busy with but something I was engaged in. In order to be inducted in the society, I had to volunteer in the local community, serve other people, walk marathons, and help those around me. The members of the group have showed me it takes a dedicated and an open mind to communicate and compromise for the better of the majority. I aspired to one day be those individuals guiding others to make better decisions for the community. Now in senior year, I have the pleasure to say that I am the vice-president of Arista. Volunteering in my community has exposed me to people's experiences and how they cope with certain things, and because of this I have the opportunity to give other people the same experience. Being the vice-president has allowed me to help and motivate those who were once like myself.
Scholarship, Service, Leadership, and Character, the four pillars that have helped shape the individual I am today. The Arista National Honor Society has been my backbone since sophomore year by helping me lead, serve, excel and succeed. My biggest goal throughoutwhy not use the words "during" or "while on" ( thorughout doesn't seem right, just my opinion) high school was to be part of something bigger than myself, something that not only kept me busy, but that deeply and authentically engaged me , not only I was busy with but something I was engaged in . In order to be inducted in the society, I had to volunteer in the local community by serving other people, walking martahons, and helping those around me serve other people, walk marathons, and help those around me . (Serving other people and helping those around me sounds too redundant though)The members of the group have showed me it takes a dedicated and an open mind to communicate and compromise for the welfarebetter of the majority . I aspired to one day be those individualspeople guiding others to make better decisions for the community.
(Good job mostly, it sounds very honest and straightforward, I'd just advice you to check on certain details I pointed out , and improve the ending, try to intensify it)
Ornela, we would appreciate it if you can also post the prompt for this essay or is it the title of the essay or the prompt below?
There's a difference between being busy and being engaged. Lafayette comes alive each day with the energy of students who are deeply engaged in their academic, co-curricular and extracurricular explorations. In response to the prompt below, keep it simple - choose one activity and add depth to our understanding of your involvement.
- sophomore year, helping me lead,
- group have showed me that it takes a
- dedicateddedication and an open mind to
- communicate and compromise for the better of the majoritygreater welfare .
- I aspired to one day, be those individuals guiding
- BeingAs the the vice-president, it has has allowed me to
There you have it Ornela, I hope my remarks on your essay helped, for future writing reference, separate the prompt from your essay or at least write it bold or with more emphasis.
Hey Ornel, you wrote an almost excellent response to the prompt you were given. It shows a true embodiment of the character traits that Lafayette looks for in their future students. The way that you shared your activity and how you hope to continue doing the same social and charitable activity while in college will be something that the reviewer is sure to remember. As of now, all you have to do is polish the statement by providing more connecting words and a bit of thought clarification in some parts. The essay now has 182 words :-)
Scholarship, Service, Leadership, and Character, the four pillars that have helped shape the individual I am today. The Arista National Honor Society has been the foundation of my socio-civic involvements since my sophomore year. The society taught me how to become a better individual by teaching me to lead, serve, excel and succeed. In order to become a member of the society, I had to be an active volunteer in the local community, serve other people, walk marathons, and help those around me.
The members of the group have shown me what it takes to become a dedicated and open minded individual who is able to communicate and compromise for the betterment of many. I aspired to one day be one of those individuals who guided others in making better decisions for the community. Now, in my senior year, I have the pleasure to say that I am the vice-president of Arista. Volunteering in my community has exposed me to people's experiences and taught me about how they cope with certain things.I now have the opportunity to give other people the same experience. Being the vice-president has allowed me to help and motivate those who were once like myself.
I separated the statement into paragraphs so that it will be easier for the reviewer to read and also clarify the topic points that are being discussed.
Thank you so much! I defiantly made those corrections. But do you honestly think this supplement has met the requirements and do you believe its something different compared to other people?
I think your answer properly answers the prompt. I think there will be different answers because the prompt gives you a lot of leeway on what you can write. If you feel like being a part of the Arista National Honor Society truly makes you happy and you are satisfied with it then it's good.
