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'Violence is a physical force' - an issue of importance to you. Applytexas


jk3sons 1 / -  
Nov 14, 2011   #1
Prompt:Choose an issue of importance to you-the issue could be personal, school related, local, political, or international in scope-and write an essay in which you explain the significance of that issue to yourself, your family, your community, or your generation.

Violence
Violence is a physical force exerted on someone or something to cause damage. There are many various types of violence. For example, violence can be a group of children fighting in an ally way; a company CEO stealing from his corporation and all of its employees, Teenagers vandalizing a city mural with spray paint, and even natural disasters ravaging local cities and towns are a form of violence.

Violence has affected my life in many ways. For example, child abductions and other crimes against children have made it unsafe for young Americans to play outside or alone after dark. When I was a child I had to worry if something is going to happen to me every time I went outside or did anything; which took away my freedom. If I wanted I wanted to go somewhere I had to go with a group or not go at all. I always had to be very careful who I talked too and where I left my belongings. War is another violence I have to deal with. I have a cousin that is in the Navy and I worry about her returning home safely. Also, every day when I turn on the TV, I hear something about the war in Iraq or about some other riots in Egypt or Libya. Also, I hate to say it but Call of Duty has also affected my life. Violent video games today callus children and teens to violence of the real world. Many of us have become jaded to the effects and consequences of real world violence. Lastly, Hurricane Katrina was a violent catastrophe that affected mine and the lives of thousands of others. Fear and stress from losing everything caused many people to become violent. Some people looted because they had to endure those tuff times. Others though misappropriated and fought over large flat screen televisions electronics and luxury items out of greed.

Violence is impelled by many things. For example, violence is the result of greed, hate, need and beliefs. Greed causes violence because if people want something bad enough they sometimes will do anything to get it. Hate can cause violence when a person lets that hate take over their life, causing an abundance of pain and destruction. Need can also be a cause of violence when a man is starved for food, alone and living on the streets. That man might steal some food from a street vendor just to survive. Lastly, Beliefs are another cause of violence. What people believe can lead to violence and sometimes their eventual downfall like the beliefs of Adolf Hitler in Germany. The beliefs he expressed in his book Mind Comp were carried over to Nazi Germany.

I think everyone agrees that the world would be a better place without violence. I hope to do my part to prevent violence; not just for me but for everyone in the world.

Please Help edit and find VOICE. It would be greatly appreciated!!!
EricJ - / 48  
Nov 16, 2011   #2
Hi Ryan,

This essay is a mess. Focus on a much smaller topic. Violence is a just wee bit too big to cover in 250 words. If you had 300, you could probably do it.

I have a feeling you like video games, so why don't you write an essay about how they are good for people. Everyone claims that video games make people violent. It's probably bullspit. I have never seen serious call of duty players fight over anything. Most of them aren't even in good enough shape to get off the couch.

Most gamers are in a room by themselves. Who are they going to hurt? Gamer attacks stuffed bear, film at 11.

Most gamers don't become violent unless you eat the last slice of pizza or all the Cool Ranch Doritos and, in such a case, who could really blame them?

Okay, there was that incident where one guy shot another while they were in line for Call of Duty, but I think the guy cut in front of him. He cut the line , so he probably deserved to get shot. You don't cut in line. You don't make fart noises in church. Everyone knows that.

Make fun of the whole idea that video games cause violence. That would be a good essay on a narrow enough topic.

Consider doing some research and thinking about it before you write.

Good luck, Ryan!


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