Maria de Lourdes Martinez Benavides
Indicate a person who has had a significant influence on you, and describe that influence.
Feedback, please?
Mr. Villegas
When I was about eleven years old, Don Manuel Villegas, a thick mustached man, told me as he bandaged a horse's leg in blue cloth from the ankle to the knee: "When you grow up, you should go to the United States and study to become a veterinarian, because there aren't any good horse
veterinarians in town." I'd never had such a far reaching goal before, but I immediately set down to chase it. The choices I made while trying to step closer to my new found objective greatly impacted the course my life has taken, positively influencing my academic achievement, growth, and self-worth.
Even though I'd declared I wanted to become a veterinarian when I was younger, the goal never seemed so real as in that moment when an adult I trusted and respected told me he truly believed that I could make it, and encouraged me to think realistically about how to get there. Although my parents have always supported me in the choices I've made, such as when I decided to join horseback riding classes, they had never encouraged me seriously toward such an important objective. Suddenly I knew where I had to go after I graduated from the sixth grade; I would get into the American School of Torreon and work hard to learn good English so that someday I could apply to a nice university in the U.S.A. and become a horse veterinarian.
The choice to enter the American School of Torreon opened so many doors for me that I feel truly grateful toward Mr. Villegas because if he hadn't pushed me toward the serious thought of pursuing a veterinarian career in the U.S., I might have never worked hard enough to pass the hardest admission exam for middle school in Torreon. Somewhat indirectly he taught me that hard work pays off. He taught me this same lesson many times directly as well.
Undoubtedly, horseback riding with Mr. Villegas made me grow up as a person. Taking care of a horse is a huge responsibility because your actions can determine the health of a living being. After a few years of practicing the discipline I grew calmer and controlled, I seemed quite mature for my age. Though Mr. Villegas's methods of teaching might not have been the sweetest, since he was a tough man, he helped me become the best rider I could be. Looking back I realize how fortunate I was to have him as my teacher; whenever I ride people compliment me on how well I do so, which has helped my self-esteem grow and encouraged me to keep practicing the sport I love.
Even though right now I'm not as sure as I was that I want to become a horse veterinarian, it is only because learning English and working hard during High School have opened more doors I wish I could also go through. I'm satisfied to say that although Mr. Villegas played a very important role in shaping my future, if I do choose to become a horse veterinarian, it won't be only to fulfill Mr. Villegas's request, it will be to fulfill a personal goal and to work on something I love.
It feels like You are saying the man taught you all this by telling you one sentence?"When you grow up, you should go to the United States and study to become a veterinarian, because there aren't any good horse
veterinarians in town." Until I got to the bottom and you talk about horse riding with him. So I think you should work on the structuring of the essay.
He taught me this same lesson many times directly as well.
How? (same structure problem)
sweetest, "since" he was a tough man
try "because"
