OH MY GOD I LOVE IT!!!! Do you think anything related to the first line, from the original essay, should be added? [(allowing me to be myself...expressing what I stand for)].
If you'd like to include it, go ahead. Be sure to send the whole thing to me again for final proofreading.
If I use this will it be cheating? But then again you only expanded on what I wrote, right?
What I've done is rephrased and clarified YOUR ideas. If you'd like to redo it, here's how:
---Read silently what I've posted.
---Wait five minutes.
---Reread it
aloud.
---Wait fifteen to thirty minutes.
---Rewrite it.
NO PEEKING
Send it to me at johnjeremy215 at gmail dot com.
I feel like it's too good (you have talent man!) to be written by a high school student.
If high school students were actually taught how to write, you and most others wouldn't be here.
Also, in the question they said we should elaborate on our first (and second, but I won't) choice major...so you should probably say Broadcast and Digital journalism or at least just Broadcast journalism...
Damn. I didn't know that. You should probably add a sentence or two about broadcast journalism.
If I have any other essays or further questions or just advice, can I please ask for your help? YOU ARE AWESOME.
Of course you can ask me. Thanks for the compliment, but I've been doing this a long time---I'm supposed to be "awesome."