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UIUC - best fit my ambitions and fulfill my desire to learn the statistics field. Transfer Essay


EdwardW 1 / -  
Jan 31, 2016   #1
Hello! I'm looking for some help on my UIUC Transfer Essay. I'm looking to transfer into UIUC's Department of Statistics and Computer Science.

Essay Prompt: In an essay of 300 words or less, explain your motivation to transfer from your current/previous institution to Illinois and how your academic interests and/or professional goals will be fulfilled in your intended program of study.

At the College of Lake County I had the privilege of taking elementary statistics. I considered this course to be a gateway into the field of statistics. As I researched further, it dawned on me that elementary statistics was far from what I had in mind. The course only covered the bare minimum and provided no insight to the professional field. College of Lake County could not provide any additional in-depth classes on statistics and I was at a standstill. As data becomes an easier to obtain in today's digital age, traditional methods of statistics struggle to keep up. The necessity of computer programs in processing data strengthens as time progresses. What I understand about the means and methods of handling data and the professional world of statistics is comparable to a few grains of sand on a beach. These criteria initiated my search for a university that would fill my thirst for knowledge. Upon my search, I found the University of Illinois to best fit my ambitions. UIUC would not only be perfect in meeting my desire for learning the field of statistics, but also for self-discovery, as I can expand my passion with UIUC's vast opportunities for undergraduate research. With the unique and diverse community, I strongly consider UIUC to be a perfect fit to help pursue my career in statistics.

Any advice(Especially grammar) is highly appreciated. Thanks!
dynaranjani 27 / 24 18  
Feb 1, 2016   #2
As data becomes an easier to obtain in today's digital age,... I think you missed a noun here, you should add something after 'an easier', perhaps you could say 'an easier sample to obtain in ....'

... and the professional world of statistics is ARE comparable ...

After all, this is awesome grammatically and you have already answered well what is demanded. Good luck !


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