The first one is to talk about my family background, and the second part is asked to write about yourself. I also have a hard time to reduce some words so that the two essays can have at most 1000 words. Thank you!!!
Essay 1
In China, there is an old saying that almost all parents believe: "Don't let your children lose at the starting point." The enormous pressure to achieve, like a heavy boulder, rests on both the shoulders of the parents and child. Yet my parents were somehow able to break free of those weights and give me a stress-free and encouraging childhood.
My father is an engineer who uses his industrious hands to create many opportunities for my family. My mother raised me in our middle-class home, fostering my creativity and encouraging me to have an unlimited attitude towards life. I am blessed to grow up in a home that values the importance of family, so my home has never been a place for fighting. Both of my parents take time to focus on their own business, but we always come together and depend on each other for support.
My parents did not get caught up in the traditional Chinese belief of "success" over happiness. I am fortunate that they never want me to be the winner at the starting point. Since my early youth, when other children were excelling in higher math skills at first grade, I spent my weekends playing with nature. While others stressed about the potential harsh punishment from bad test scores, I indulged myself in the arts and reading. Whenever I made mistakes, my parents neither blamed me nor gave me a punishment; rather, they encouraged me to learn from the experience.
I never thought about their purpose carefully until I opened a letter from my father as I arrived in America. The letter combined the best of their love and wisdom, helping me to realize something important in life. It read, "You used to ask why we are so different from other parents. The reason is that we know how important freedom is to a child. We believe that when you enjoy what you do, you can achieve it better. I hope you will finally appreciate that you have been living in this world instead of feeling regret."
As I prepare for college, I now understand that all the courage and love inside my heart stem from the values that my parents have been instilling in me since I was a child. From them, I learned to explore my interests boundlessly, read literature tirelessly, and travel endlessly. The last line in the letter is what my father wants me to remember: "Go as far as you can, but never forget why you embarked." I will try my best to go further and to be stronger, and I hope one day when I look back, I will appreciate the valuable experience I have.
Essay 2
My Dad laughed when he saw a plate of salad in front of me while my family enjoyed Chinese dishes. "I mean, really, Jingjing." And then he teased me further: "Do you really want to be an American that much ?" Everyone laughed while I turned red from embarrassment. And then, to make matters worse, I heard my mother saying in a loud voice:" True, I guess she may forget where she was born soon, but at least we can appreciate that the American lifestyle has taught her to control her appetite, not like before."
I was surprised at how awkward I felt in that moment given that I had become used to their teasing since I was a child.
Last year, my parents decided to send me to the America to continue my education. Before I left, my mother gave me a wooden bracelet that has become faded after being passed down from several generations. To me, it looked too old and too large, so I simply put it into the drawer and forgot about it.
I had an ambition to conquer everything when I arrived in America. I wanted to speak perfect American English and to be outstanding in everything, not just mathematics and science. I wanted to assimilate into 'American' culture and excel at the same time. In order to achieve my goals, I consciously chose to communicate less with Chinese students in order to improve my English; I abandoned all of my favorite Chinese music and books so that I could spend more time learning about topics that my American "friends" would find relevant. Sometimes, I was even willing to be the object of others' teasing. Certainly, I will feel a sense of belonging soon enough.
But that feeling never came. No matter how hard did I tried, the powerful cultural differences still stood a huge elephant between my surroundings and me. The loneliness in my heart eventually made me realize that the distance will never disappear no matter how hard I try to abridge it. I could feel the disappointment settling permanently in my heart each time I was rejected by my American peers. When all those negative emotions accumulated, I burst out into tears the night before a piano competition. When all the tears left my body, I asked myself, "Do I really have to find my value by giving up my 'Chineseness'?"
I suddenly remembered that I haven't connected with my parents for a long time. The memory of how I interrupted my mom when she showed me her new Chinese art work last time we talked hit me like a rock. I rummaged through the drawer and found the wood bracelet in the dust. Its color was still obsolete, but when I touched it, I was surprised by its texture, which is smooth and soft. In the back of the bracelet, I saw a small Chinese character which means "home" right there.
I think my mother gave me this bracelet is trying to tell me no matter how far I go, I can never forget my roots. I used to be eager to get rid of my Chinese roots and seek ways to be Americanized, but I forgot that being Chinese is a part of my upbringing. Now I understand that there is no need for me to give up what I used to be in order to fit in to the new condition; on the contrary, it is my root and my origin make who I am now.
Tang, I'd like to share my insights on your work, one essay at a time.
- and encouragingencourage me to have
- an unlimited attitudeapproach towards life.
- so my home has never been a place for fighting.
- Both ofM y parents take time to focus on their own business,
- butand ( instead of using a negative "but" use the positive "and") we always come together and depend on each other for support.
- Since my early youthIn my early days , when other
- From them, I learned toMy parents fostered that attitude to explore my interests boundlessly
- I will try my best toMy endless effort go further and to be stronger,
- and I hope one day when I look back, I willis my way to express the appreciation of the valuable experience I have.
There you have it Tang, I hope my remarks help in enhancing your essay.
I'll get back to you for the other essay.
Here's my thoughts for the second essay.
- My Dad laughed when he saw a plate of salad in front of me while my family enjoyed Chinese dishes. "I mean, really, Jingjing." ..( Tang, I don't think that we still need to add the conversation part in your essay)
- ButHowever, that feeling never came.
- No matter how hard did I triedI try , the powerful
- Its color was stillis obsolete, but when
- I sawread a small Chinese character which means "home" right there.
- I think my mother gave me this bracelet is trying to tellto remind me
- that no matter how far I go,
- I canwill never forget my roots.
Tang, overall, you came up with two strong essays, well - written and ready for submission.
The remarks I made for both essays are minor and it's all up to you to follow through.
I wish you good luck and one more thing, being Asian is a very good thing!
