"What's it like to be a twin," is presumably the most highly demanded question I have gotten for the past 17 years of my life. While I stand there for a few seconds thinking of ways I could possibly explain the nature of sharing a whole human existence with another... I can't. I end up blurting out the vaguest response, "Well, I don't know what it's like to not be one," and they begin to nod their head in acceptation. Although, I don't blame the ones who ask considering it is an incomparable experience that few people get to share. For all of my life, I have shared a part of me with my twin brother, Noah. Although we are opposite sexes, I have been linked to him in almost every way possible; through friends, the inevitable invitation to the same parties, the same car, and more. While this link allows our relationship to blossom, it also causes our relationship to fall at times.
We have been told that it is surprising to watch Noah and I side by side because you get a glimpse of how similar we really are, yet, we are totally opposite genders. Maybe it's the fact that there is no other person that I have spent more time with in my life, or because we simply add to one. It becomes easy to act so innately and so independent around him that it almost seems like I am by myself. With the same sense of humor and the way we carry ourselves, it's almost impossible to not notice the ultimate bond between us. This bond helps me through times when I need a friend, or simple advice to keep me going.
Although being a twin gives you someone to rely on, being a twin causes hardships at times when it is necessary to create your own identity. It comes with one being excelled in a certain field, while the other falling shortly behind. It comes with fights over who gets the car that day, or who did better on their math test. At certain times it becomes difficult to set yourself aside from the other, and to venture in your own interests and excel in your greatest skills. It is almost inevitable to escape from the label of being just "the Gifford twins," but it creates a challenge in pursuing my own identity. This challenge becomes easier and easier everyday as we plan our futures to the outside world. Without him, I would not be able to distinguish the difference between being yourself, and following the lead. I would not be able to balance having someone I can rely on, but the ability to not depend on someone at every moment of the day.
To answer the common question, "What's it like to be a twin," ... it is unique, and without this rare gift I have, I would not be the person I am today.
That was most certainly quite an interesting background story. Your twin was obviously very central to your background and identity. The comparisons that you made brought the reader into your world as fraternal twins. The descriptions you used and the way you chose to separate your identities showed a deep connection between the two of you. I would however, have liked to have seen more about you in the essay rather the constant talk of shared existence. Which of the twins are you? Are you the one who excels or the one who falls back? How does being the dominant or weaker twin encourage you to be even better or help your weaker twin (as the dominant one) ? How does being the weaker twin encourage you to strive to constantly better yourself? You mentioned something about being a twin makes it difficult to pursue your own identity. What do you feel is your identity as influenced by your twin situation? Those are some points you can consider as you review your essay as the reviewer's interest could be further hooked by such details in your essay.
At this point, I would like to point out some grammar corrections for your essay. Here are the corrected portions:
highly ASKED question - A question cannot be demanded. However, a response can be demanded. Perhaps you would like to rephrase the sentence so you can use the word "demanded" in a better context.
nod their head in ACCEPTANCE - The act of accepting something in past form.
the ones who ask considering , it is
it also causes our relationship to FAIL at times. - Fail is the better term to use as it connotes a failure to continue the relationship for some reason.
we really are . Yet, we
because we simply add to one - one what? Life? I think this line is a little vague, be more specific.
comes with one EXCELLING in a certain field,
WITH the other
we plan our futures to the outside world .
Perhaps you could insert a line to show your unique personality even though you are a twin. It is important to show that in terms of your identity. The twin story is a good background story like I said, but it needs to have your unique voice in it, about who you are apart from being a twin, that makes the interesting aspect stronger.
