But when the time came for me to actualize my dream, I failed to avail the opportunity.
This sounds like you're thesaurus-hunting. How about "But when the time came to fulfill my dream, the opportunity slipped through my fingers."
The dreams and aspirations I had harbored since middle school shattered
shattered ---> were shattered
I was the more passive and gentle, forgiving and meek, and such were attributes not needed for the post.
delete "the"
Humiliated after my defeat, thankfully narcissism and egotism had not fogged my mind's eye.
"Humiliated after my defeat" describes you, but the rest of the sentence changes subject. Perhaps "I was humiliated after my defeat, but thankfully..."
I realized I was at flaw and wanted remediation.
Sorry, I don't know what this means. Maybe you were at
fault? "Remediation" sounds odd as well.
As humans we are often vulnerable to our overpowering desires which at times make us shallow and selfish.
Whoa, that's dark.
In fact
add comma
learnt
learned
Overall, not a bad essay. Good luck in college!